Vanna J's Experience
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Experience description:
I had been
ill for several days and was under a doctors care at home. I remember at that
time my husband getting ready for work around 5 am. I told him good-bye and
remember as he walked away, I may never see him again. I didn't know why I
thought that at the time. The thought was rather strange to me, I dismissed it
thinking that I must have been so sick I thought/and felt so bad that I may die.
I then remembered that I should probably go ahead take my meds before trying to
sleep again. So I did. As prescribed, and went to sleep sometime around 5:30
am. The next
thing that I recall is that I was looking at myself lying in a beautiful white
bed, It glowed. So what almost hard to look at. Like looking into a florescent
light. Into the center without a cover on it. My gown that I was wearing , the
bed, the bed covers, pillows, etc, everything was brilliant white. As to look at
white under a black light type of white. So white it was almost blue. Around
the outside of the bed, It seemed to be dark, but celestial. Starry, or lights
flickering around in darkness. I sat up quickly in the bed without pain, as I
also have a lot of chronic pain in my neck and spine due to an accident and bone
degeneration. I sat up
pain free, thinking how easy it was to do so. I spun around on the bed without
any pain so light and easy. I remember the quiet serene feeling, so peaceful.
I stood up, looked down at my feet and thought to myself there is no floor.
That is when I feel that I realized where I was. I looked up again, and there
seemed to be a rushing feeling pass with me. Or almost a forward motion of air
passing by, while this was occurring time when rushing past me....I had thoughts
of my family, which my marriage was in trouble at this time also,, my son had
returned home to live after being on his own for 3 years, my grandmother was
considered, but the one thing that would not leave my thoughts was those of my
then year old grand-daughter who lives with an irresponsible mother. That
thought was "SHE IS TOO LITTLE TO CARE FOR HERSELF." Over and over in my mind I
heard it. Tears began to fall. I knew
where I was. I knew I was on my way to heaven, but could not leave my
grand-daughter. I was still floating, or moving gently forward. Soon after tears
fell, I approached another being. A being I will call an angel as it was
my mother who had passed away 21 and 1 half years before. She was wearing the
same kind of gown as myself, as I approached her, she was holding her hands
outreached slightly down to her sides, as I came before her I sobbed. There
were never any words spoken only through the mind. She spoke to me first.
As I cried, she said, (so like mom), "Now what's wrong?" I shrugged my
shoulders, and shook my head NO. I knew I could not leave that child to
care for herself not knowing what her future would be and would might or may not
care for her. At that
moment my mother reached for me, brought me to her shoulder and held me there,
as if as gold light lit up the two of us, my next recollection was myself, in my
bed, sobbing. I was pushing away myself from the feather pillow that I
was sleeping on, which was partly in my mouth, and soaking wet. My wrists were
sore and red rings around them as if I had been pushing myself for some time. My
arms ached, I was shaking, not frightened, never at any time. I was
coughing and sobbing some more.. I was totally aware of what had just happened.
I knew I
had had a NDE but was not confirmed until I asked my doctor and psychologist
about it later, which three have now all told me in there experience it sounded
to them as though this was a real encounter for me. I have absolutely NO
DOUBT...I recovered soon after from the illness I was suffering from.
Incidentally, I have not had bronchitis since then and had approximately twice
or even three times before. I have since, moved on with my life alone. Any
associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the
experience: Yes
Explanation:
I was on medication at the time treating bronchitis, I am unsure of the drugs at
the time I was taking. But I'm sure I can ask my doctor for a list at that time
I was being treated. Was the
experience difficult to express in words?
No
What was it about the
experience that makes it hard to communicate?
Only to make people really try to understand what you are trying to express,
also fear of disbelief, and or proper understanding. At the
time of the experience, was there an associated life threatening event?
Uncertain
Describe:
If you are asking another life threatening event with someone other than myself
,, Yes, my father-in-law was in the hospital fighting cancer, which later the
next month passed. What was
your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?
I knew exactly what was happening to me at all times. Started asleep. Was the
experience dream like in any way?
Started as I was in a dream looking at my dream.. Did you
experience a separation of consciousness from your body?
Yes What
emotions did you feel during the experience?
Peace, then sad about leaving my grand-daughter, uneasy that she may still need
me. Did you
hear any unusual sounds or noises?
As I saw myself set up in the bed, I do recall, sounds of flute like music,
soft, tranquil sounds. Did you
pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?
No response
Describe:
did not feel it was a tunnel, but passed like breeze moving forward ascending
like upward feeling Did you
see a light? Yes
Describe:
Lots of them, but the white light that covered everything , bed, sheets, covers,
gown, everything, even mom's gown Did you
meet or see any other beings?
Yes
Describe:
MOM, explained thoughts that were passed in description above Did you
experience a review of past events in your life?
Yes
Describe:
Life is too short to be unhappy... was the thoughts that were prevalent to me. Did you
observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that
could be verified later?
No Did you
have any sense of altered space or time?
Uncertain
Describe:
The sensation of moving in motion Did you
have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
Yes
Describe:
I have always been intuitive, use gut feeling a lot, may have more since this
experience....Sometimes I just know things, without really having studied.
I don't even know why I know things sometimes, things sometimes before they
happen Did you
reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?
No response
Describe:
I guess in a way when I reached mom,., I shook my head NO letting her know that
I knew if I went on any further, that there was no coming back. Did you
become aware of future events?
No Were you
involved in or aware of a decision to return to the body?
Yes
Describe:
Explained above Did you
have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you
did not have prior to the experience?
Uncertain
Describe:
Maybe more intuitive than before, or maybe just more aware Did you
have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
No Has the
experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices etc.?
Career choices? Live Life
to its fullest, in good faith, be kind to other humans, we all should try it. Have you
shared this experience with others?
Yes
Describe:
Mostly positive,, some uncertain if they believe or not,, truly does not matter
to me,. I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED,,,3 Psychologist have all under different setting
in different situations have also listened and feel my experience was indeed
real. What
emotions did you experience following your experience?
cried for hours,, missed my mom all over again, but had a great sense of peace What was
the best and worst part of your experience?
I know I'll see my family who has gone on before again someday, which was my
belief before but now, I know.. I don't
think anything bad about it at all. Is there
anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?
I BELIEVE,, CAUSE I HAVE BEEN THERE! I think it was a fascinating experience,,
One I wish everyone could fully perceive... Has your
life changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Yes
Describe:
A lot of ways.... Following
the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or
substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
No Did the
questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively
describe your experience?
Yes