Experience description:

There were a few OBEs, STE and fleeting brushes with spirits following 3 major traumas in my life happening in intervals of 2 weeks apart. My husband was diagnosed with end stage cancer (with me having no income as I am a homemaker with two young kids, this was a very devastating news), later my sister in law and I was embroiled in a major family dispute which spiraled into a full blown family argument involving even my parents and this argument will last for the next 1.5 years which produced very strained family relationships, and I was involved in a motorcycle accident which was chargeable against me. The supernatural experiences are in chronological order as follows:

1. STE no.1 : At the accident site, there was a deep feeling of guidance to move away from religiosity. At that point I was ready to convert to Catholicism as I was sure my husbands illness was perhaps God's way of asking me to be more religious. Then an hour before the accident happened, we left the oncologist office only to have the oncologist who is a staunch Catholic tell us to put aside religion. A very strange thing to hear from a manly who is very steeped in Catholicism. I was still devastated with the accident as the rider was injured and it meant that I could be charged in court for causing injury. That night I prayed for the ump-teeth time with a rosary which was gifted to me but for the first time , my rosary was in a very tight knot. I was so disappointed with religion and asked if there is no God. The next morning I woke up at about 5 plus to prepare to send me daughters to school and in the silence as I was washing dishes, I was guided to go to the petrol kiosk opposite the accident site to retrieve a CCTV footage. That afternoon I went and retrieved a CCTV which indicated that the motorcyclist exited from the entrance of the petrol kiosk instead of the exit. This created some issues including short response time. There were other related problems which arose from the fact that I did not have a camera in my car so there was no evidence that I could not have anticipated a motorcyclist coming at high speed from the opposite side of the road. In short the CCTV was my only alibi.  I was so scared to even step out of my house after a series of trauma that I just wanted to have peace for 5 minutes. So I just sat alone  for many nights and just wanted to feel if there is a God out there. Even a breeze would comfort me in those nights. After a few of such sessions,  there began one night where I would sob uncontrollably as I get into a meditative state. It felt like me expressing great love for God but it also felt like God loved me more than anything . Such episodes went on for several nights until I noticed two red spots surfacing on my palms where my heart meridian are. Both spots are in each same spot in different palms. This accident also later on served me a very important lesson that I only discovered later: how when the road is busy or when life gets traumatic/chaotic, look and focus on the NOW or what needs to be done first before thinking of the future . The reason why my accident happened was because I did not take care of what is going on in my current lane (even if it isn't your fault, the key is not finger pointing or looking at others' lives but to focus on yourself and in the RIGHT NOW) before making a turn to the opposite side of the road. That served me well during my last two years of my life when things got turbulent.

2. STE no. 2 : after a series of trauma , I  was guided to pick up books on NDEs. I didn't have the exact words at that time but I just told my husband I needed to read people who crossed over and brought back wisdom. Ironically , the first books I picked up from the general bookstores have NDEs very steeped in the Christian faith so I thought it must be a sure sign I was asked to go into a religion but that was not the case after my accident. Then each week following that I would just stand in front of a bookstore and ask for guidance in finding books like that. Ironically, I was led to the book 'Conversations in God' and that led to STE no. 3.

3. STE no. 3: As I was involved in a major family dispute , my husband's sisters were asking if I could be the first one to admit I was in the wrong in order to placate my husband's eldest sister whom I have had a dispute with. In the book, advice is given and I decided to test if the words in the book was true that relationships were sent to us to heal. This is my first manifestation of spirituality . I openly and sincerely apologized and admitted my share of blame. 2 weeks after that apology incident, I picked up the Conversations with God book again and something strange happened. I was not reading a book with words but the words began to describe me. I understood there is no end of the world as predicted by God and I was experiencing 'the second coming of GOD' with this STE. I understood the second coming of GOD will not happen as  described by the Bible .  It is a change in state of mind or understanding and realigning our understanding closer to that of God . But the role of God is very much like a parent and this alignment could happen to anyone if they realign. After that for weeks I woke up to feeling like my bedroom was filled with many 'people'. I kept feeling like there are many pairs of eyes staring at me whilst I sleep. I was fearful at that time and complained to my husband that there are many people surrounding us. I slept poorly as a result in those weeks and asked for these 'people' to leave me alone as I could not understand their presence and they did after  a while.

4.OBE 1 After these spiritual presence left , my husband's illness took a turn for the worse despite going through very expensive treatments. On Dec 27 after 4 major infusion treatments, my husband's first scan came back with nil response. In fact, his tumors grew signaling that the treatment was not working. AT the hospital that day, I saw widespread fear. I overheard a conversation of a lady with her sister that she was so frightened the results of her health checkup would yield bad news. She said that she could not eat for the whole week. But fortunately her results came out negative when tested for cancer and she was rejoicing . She was calling her family members and eating ! I went home devastated . Angry with God at how I don't understand why He is so revered but HE could not make people suffer any less. If I as a mere human being can feel utmost compassion , why did he let us suffer? And even if I understood what life is about as I already had a previous STE, why did he create a life which no one understood? As I cried out my last question to Him internally, a breathe of air blew into my nostrils and two bubbles (one situated in the middle of my forehead and one the top of my head) popped. I then slept deeply. Interestingly, I instinctively knew it was my third eye and crown chakras that were opened as I came across the word chakra in the book 'Conversations with God' and there was a video circulated to me by a pastor relative which featured a brain cancer patient who survived after Jesus blew a breathe of air into his nostrils and left).

4.  OBE 2: THe next day, I woke up with a kind of light headedness which I never felt before. Despite the previous day's bad news of my husband's illness turning for the worse, I went to bake a few hundred cookies for the extended family by myself in celebration of Chinese New Year. As I was all alone baking it felt like someone was helping me. I was able to measure everything very accurately and know the exact measurement before I placed on the weighing scale. I was in a rush to fetch my daughter after 4 hours of intense baking. But towards the end, the process was very quick as if someone was assisting me. Before I knew, I was in front of the basin and worrying about the conditions of the tarts baking but my awareness could tell me the exact shade of brownness and readiness of the tarts and even the heat. As I thought of the tarts, I became the tarts! As I thought of the oven, I became the oven! I had to force myself turn around to confirm the exact image I had in my mind was the exact thing in reality because the oven was behind me. And I was amazed it was exactly the same. Then as I thought of the time , I became time. I knew exactly what time right down to the seconds . I was totally in control of time. I became one with the dimension of time. When I switched my awareness and focused on fetching my daughter, I lost all attachments to her. I was not a mother. I was something else. Then the phone rang , it broke my attention and I left to pick my daughter up at the exact time which I wanted to leave the house - 12.42pm exactly.

5. OBE 3 : My OBEs continued after I came back from the trip to school and I was all alone once again. Whenever I had an impending OBE, I would have a dizzy attack. I could recognize the signs now. So this time, I looked up to the sky as suddenly I felt very ancient. I felt as old as dust and fossils of this Earth. I could have even be as old as the universe. I was not my 42 year old form. It is too young compared to this old being. I felt that I was nature, the Sun and the wind all at once before. I was very a very powerful being in total bliss but I had nothing. I was everything and nothing at the same time in that realm but on the earthly realm the opposite is true when you have nothing here, you begin to have everything. I also wanted an identity very badly over in that realm after experiencing total oneness with everything in the universe. I wanted to live a story. I was to live a  story I had a choice in scripting. I was excited to leave that state of eternal void! I need to 'go' somewhere where I can be 'rolled out'! I needed an expanded space where I can get to experience things bit by bit and not at all like this where I knew everything but I experiencing nothing. It was so so very frustrating and nearly impossible to be there. Heaven is gifted to us in every moment because over here we have the ability to feel and thus experience. We could exercises choices which will led us to very lofty states of experiences .  I was to have a final OBE for that day and I knew it was my final .

6. OBE 6: MY OBEs would come in 3.  These 3 OBEs would signal 3 things: how I felt when I left my body, how I fell in the spirit world, just before I took on this body and how I would feel when I am done with my body in this carnation. My final OBE was the hardest to decipher as it took me one and a half years to deconstruct. I just felt very trusting of the body and I wanted to recreate this unconditional trust of the human body in this realm through my husband's cancer. The idea here is recreation. I knew how to get that over there but I could not experience this recreation. SO I had to use time and space in a linear format to help me.

7. OBE 7: The next day I had a dizzy attack and I was 'instructed' by an image to help others with what I knew through words. Such a message was dismissed as ludicrous and farfetched at that time because how I could I have known more than others. It is this sense of unworthiness that plague mankind when divine messages are trying to get through to us that pushes such transcendental connection aside. This causes a lot of unease amongst human beings on this earth as I later discovered. It wasn't until I chanced upon Brian Weiss's books 6 months later and in that book detailed the same message this OBE brought through. I was stunned that the very same message given to me was also just as detailed and happened to someone I did not even know exist. Because of my chance encounter with Brain Weiss, I got into past life regression and was able to regress into my past lives easily through self hypnosis.

After all the experiences of  my OBEs, I could see light in between my eyes whenever I close my eyes. Sometimes there is a soft glow. In other times, it looks like camera flashes whenever I focus in the are between my third eye and breathe.  It gets brighter when there is darkness. That later as I found out was the result of my third eye activation. I grew to love darkness because this light comforted me. The idea of humans being Beings of Light is literally true. This light continue to comfort me till this day.

8. OBE 8: As I tried to convince my husband OBEs, he just thought I was growing stranger and stranger in my ways. He was utterly consumed by the fears of his illness. He did not believe a word I was saying. To the point that I wanted him to 'die' to see this truth . It culminated in a quarrel so big that I would threw a stick at him. That night I went to bed angry and feeling very sad that no one would believe that I realized that we are Gods essentially . I woke up the next morning feeling all upset and feeling the shame/pain of a cancer care giver. I remember protesting that I did not want to go back to such mortal feelings. then suddenly, in pitch darkness a soft glow appeared at my left. Then it grew bigger until it felt like someone lit up the room (even though it was only 545am and I had my eyes closed). I moved towards the light and there was a suction force through my mouth and this light felt like a pure white light that cleansed me from head to toe. In a few seconds, I lost all negative feelings of human kind. I was reset like a child. After that I felt refreshed and gradually I could find back a child like awe in my outlook of life. I find myself loving to wash dishes, mopping the floor or just simply feeling my bed sheets. I felt everything was so unreal and I wanted to try every experience in this earthly realm. I wanted to make use of the body and limbs to fully utilize each and every experience I ever had in my lifetime. I gradually lost judgment of what is good and bad. For instance, I used to hate doing housework but now I relished every moment of it. I also loved to perform  care giving duties such as tending to me husband's illness and all the details. Most people will shun away from such 'work' but I truly find that I enjoy it because it supplies unparalleled experiences which I cannot have when I am out of my body. I felt that time was very short here compared to eternity over there in the spirit world where we originate but in its linear form it allows us to experience everything in bits but with the kind of depth we want. I was able to look at MRI scans , go to the doctor with my husband, chat with cancer patients with as much ease as I would do the laundry. The fear was very much lessened for me and I was able to make clearer decisions despite being immersed in seemingly traumatic conditions. What people noticed is that I was very strong . Some of my friends mistaken it to be a case of post-traumatic disorder since I was acting that unusual . Some took it very negatively to think I was unfeeling and likely to have very little connection to my husband which explained my tepid reactions to a lot of things. Even my husband took a while to get used to my newfound personality. He was so scared that either I was going to leave him or I have gone mad. As a result of his fears, he started to indulge in NDE literature and journals (after I introduced him to his first NDE book written by Anita Moorjani) to find meaning in my experiences. Ironically NDE literature is the only balm for his soul till this day. He also made peace with my experiences and it fact found it very very calming for him to hear me repeat messages from the other side through my OBEs. He was also the one who introduced me to this website which I found very cathartic just sharing all my spiritual experiences because the environment which I am in is very still conservative in spiritual knowledge . Much of it is steeped in very rigid religious institutional knowledge which does not allow such open sharing to take place. It can get quite lonesome holding to such messages and yet not have anyone to share in its joys.

9. After all that OBEs, I continued to have more extraordinary experiences I found I had hot hands which I used to eliminate minor pains and aches. Again, it started off with what felt like static electricity accumulated in my scalp one day as I was driving my younger daughter home from school. Whilst in the car, my older daughter called me to inform me she is very ill. My husband then was out of town for work. I started to feel my hands heating up and my scalp tingling as I felt worried for my daughter. She is seldom this ill. When I got home and settled my ill daughter who is down with stomach flu, I started feeling my hands heating up again whilst on a phone call. I tried googling for what this could be and I managed to find videos of people teaching how to use such heat for healing. One sure sign if I had such hot healing hands was the ability to feel magnetic forces between my hands. So I tried to do so whilst on the phone call. To my surprise, as I did that my phone call was disrupted . I did it a few times to ensure it was real and it happened again and again. So throughout the day I was wondering what I could do with my hands. At 11pm that day, my daughter called out to say she has acute pain in her stomach area. At such a late hour, my immediate reaction was to help relieve her pain. I just instinctively reached out my hands and placed my hot hands on her tummy and in about 15 minutes, the pain was gone. A week later my husband returned with some spirituality books bought overseas as it is very difficult to find such books where I live. Interestingly I picked up Greg Bradden's book out of the many and read the only few pages there which discussed how our happenings in our life mirrors the happenings in our other field of experiences. So he gave the example of how an exploded water tank mirrored an explosive relationship which his client had with her boyfriend at that time. I found that particularly interesting. But what happened 6 hours later to me was just as strange. Two of my power sockets went up in flames around 11 pm at night. And that later I realized mirrored my hot hands. After that, I used my hot hands to help me husband cure his back ache which was persistent. At that time his muscular enzymes was 7 times the normal range as a result of the immunotherapy he was on. The doctor was very concerned as most patients would have been weakened considerably but my husband did not exhibit any symptoms. As time went by , I did not use my healing hands as much. But months later when I broke my toe, another event happened again. I was feeling very uncomfortable with the healing of my toe which doctor said would take around 4 weeks. The bandages were causing a lot of allergic reaction to my skin on my feet. It was very inflamed and I was very down at that point. I was afraid that the doctors would frown upon the poor healing of my feet and I was to have a followup consultation in a week's time. At that juncture which is about 3 weeks into my injury, as I lay down to sleep one night, I could feel heat around toe and inflamed skin. It lasted for 15 mins and I knew with that heat my toe is healed. So true to that thought, my skin stopped itching over night and my feet healed very well after that. 

10. By now, synchronicities happened a lot. Almost on a daily basis so I would not elaborate on it. There was one more unusual event which took place when I was contemplating on our soul's plan which I read about how as souls we choose certain people and circumstances in our lives. I often wondered how people  who are very young are brought into our lives like my daughter's young piano teacher. Do we have to be born first or was everything already planned for before we were born? I wasn't too sure of the sequencing. So as I was meditating one day, I suddenly remembered that I scripted everybody's' lives (including my own) already including all the American presidents and even Jesus'. the message was very clear that everything was already scripted at the genesis of Life then we 'split up' to gather different stories. So even though it was chronological over in this realm but everything has already happened. ALL of the souls are actually just ONE BEING planning the entire thing and we are just experiencing in different ways. We look separate but we are all actually ONE Being. This gave me the knowledge that we are not better than anyone in this realm. NO one is above anyone. We are just gathering different experiences in our own ways. In fact those who seemingly are immersed in traumas, handicapped bodies, deep poverty etc are those who are highly 'mature' in their souls to take on such challenges.  No events should be judged good or bad because it will always be good. My traumas and such accompanying grand teachings are proof of that.

My spiritual experiences have benefited me more than any experiences. As I am writing this out , i find it hard to just describe the experiences without saying much about what wisdom it has given. I hope that these experiences will help uplift our understanding of LIFE/GOD's intention instead of focusing on appearances because a lot of suffering is the result of such misunderstanding. Intentions are very open to misinterpretation because it cannot be seen. And sometimes we place behaviors, events which can be seen above what can be felt which is a real shame.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?      No     

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words?          Yes    It was just a feeling of unconditional trust in the body but that ran counterintuitive to the terminal stage cancer my husband was going through.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event? Yes    My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and I had just hit a motorcycle and injured the rider who needed surgery.

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?    Very high. I was doing housework or meditating.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?  No. It was very real. There are accompanying physical sensations. Its more like recovering memories.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?   Yes    Extreme awareness of our limited form , as in our bodies. Awareness of time being very short and of very different nature as compared to our eternal Self. Awareness of things which are placed behind us but can be seen clearly as if we are right in front of them. You can see images which are very clear as if right in front of you. Sometimes you can smell certain things not in this era (like when I regress into past lives, I can smell liquorices which cannot be easily found in my environment). I would even have cravings for food I never used to have after regressing into a past life as a young boy in Great Depression. I found myself craving for rye bread. Being Asian ,I have never eaten rye bread.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?          Peace, Extreme gratitude/love, freedom, a feeling of familiarity like homecoming/getting back your old memories

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?         No.

LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?         No     

Did you see a light?        Yes    Yes, a white light with purity as a feeling imbued in it. It is energy with force and feelings.       

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Yes    Like I knew my nanny who died had a female figure who just passed away. I thought it was her sister who had died. It was communicated to me in an image where they were both standing together to indicate their closeness. I have not seen this nanny for sometime and her family details were a blur. Later I verified, her sister in law passed just 3 months before her and they were close as sisters.

Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different? Yes    It is not functioning in the normal way. It's strong emotions and getting back your memories. It is like you know. You don't need 5 senses to be working in the normal way. When my chakras are opened, there is an internal feeling of 'bubbles' popping. It's not the usual senses. And a light headedness that lasted for 3 weeks which felt like something left me. It cannot be found using 5 senses.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Yes          There is no time over there but it was eternal. It felt compact over there like there is no space. There was no time. Everything in the past and future has already been laid out or worked out . It is different from a very linear format of time here and space is not dense at all here . It looks dense here but it is very 'spaced out' here for us to have different experiences here.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?         Yes    Knowing we are actually ONE Being. And that everything that has happened and will happened in the universe had already been scripted. We were all part of that scripting. And that whilst life look very random from our perspective there's clarity or at least you can see the purpose of why it is worked out that way. There is sense amidst senselessness.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?           No     

Did you become aware of future events?      Yes    Like I knew all this while I have to fulfill 'my deal of the contract' when I met my husband. I didn't like it . I knew it was something but I don't have a good feeling. So I went to temples to draw divine lots at every milestones of my life like courtship, marriage and birth of my 2 children. And I was 'told' through the divine lots that whilst my marriage would be ok but my husband would indeed go through a very serious trauma after the birth of my second child which turned out to be true.

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?          Uncertain     I wanted very much to be in this body. I wanted to live a story I can create my own. I have to live out this story. It was my choice to be in this carnation.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?      Yes    1. I had 'hot hands' .

2. I could feel energy around me but they don't bother me.

3. I could simplify very difficult spiritual concepts which I had no knowledge of before. Like I knew some parts of bible and use present day analogies to pull out the deeper meanings.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?     Yes   

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?   1. I stay away from institution based religious teachings.

2. I generally stay away from fear based information because it is a clear sign we are very far away from truths. It's like how we tend to fear what we don't know.

3. I have changed my parenting styles. I am more relaxed and try to empower my daughters to focus more on experiences rather than results.

4. I will try to detoxify my expectations of anything but really enjoy the process. Even  doing housework feels so good to me.

5. I get very angry when people in authority try to abuse their power and use 'scare' tactics to mobilize people. I don't take on any of other people's fears.

6. I relish in going through details of my life now . I love taking baby steps and have develop so much more patience because before I know it I will return to this oneness (which is blissful don't get me wrong but it's eternal). Here is where all the fun and action is.

7. Even if I am surrounded by 'not so good' circumstances, I can feel my soul's desire to experience it. There is a feeling of utter control  and clarity. i may not like it but I feel the strong intent to want to experience it.