Experience description:

As mentioned previously, while a Peace Corps volunteer in one of the poorest nations in Africa, I became politically radicalized.   Because of the political climate that I believed was fostered by the foreign policy  of the United States, I blamed the United States for the suffering and horrendous conditions of life amongst the people I had come to serve and that I had grown to love.   When I returned to the US after my tour, I gravitated toward likeminded people.  I was living in the Bay Area of San Francisco when, in 1974, Patty Hearst was kidnapped and held for ransom; to be released only when her wealthy family released funds to local, mostly inner-city nonprofits attempting to help the poor. I saw this strategy as having great potential in the redistribution of ill gotten, capitalist wealth to the less fortunate.  Although I never acted on these deeply felt beliefs, my life was consumed with hatred and anger against the United States and wanted nothing to do with God since it was God that allowed these social injustices to exist.

Over the next decade, I dedicated my life to helping the least among us. During the Johnson administration, I worked in the Model City program helping low income, impoverished citizens take advantage of federally funded social initiatives. As my life continued to slide sideways, I became involved in the personal pursuit of mental health and eventually became a counselor in a local drug and mental health facility.   It was also at this time that I became a certified 4H Challenge Instructor which opened opportunities for me to work with court adjudicated young, mostly inner-city youth.

One morning while walking through my apartment, I found myself on the floor; I was not able to get up.  It was as though I was being kept from rising by some invisible force.  I might add, this was NOT  a medical induced event.  I had not fainted nor lost my footing. I was conscious and, although I had my eyes closed the entire time, all of my senses were alert and intact. I would say that all of my senses were heightened to a degree I'd never experienced before. While I must report what happened in sequential time,  what I'm about to describe I knew instantly, simultaneously and in its entirety:

1)  I knew someone was present with me in the room and was the cause of my being prone on the floor.

2)  I knew it was God.

3)  I knew that He had heard every thought and word that I had been speaking against Him, His people; (i.e. Christians), and those that affiliated themselves as religious, Bible centered, believers.

4)  He had also seen and was aware of every act of rebellion (sin) I had ever committed.

5)  Instinctively I knew that He had the right to not only judge me He also had the right to pronounce His sentence upon me.

6)  I believed my fate was imminent death.

I was frozen in time at the awareness that I was about to die and when I could bare that fear and guilt not one minute longer, I heard Him say:  'Tim, I love you.'  I became undone.  I wept uncontrollably for what seemed like hours.  Deep sobs and groans came from some place in me I'd never known could exist.  I eventually stood up and made my way to bed where I experienced the most restful and peaceful sleep I had ever known.

Over the next several months, I began to experience breathtaking, supernatural events that I knew could only come from being allowed access to heaven's perspective/truths.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   Yes  I knew (simultaneously) that:  God was in the room; that I was in the presence of pure Holiness; that He had seen and known every  one of my thoughts and actions; that He had the right to not only judge me but to also end my life.  I felt that at any moment I was going to die. (I have come to learn that this is sometimes referred to as a Life Review)

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes     Its not everyday that one experiences the presence of God; especially in His role as 'Judge'

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?      My senses were at a heightened level throughout my experience.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal   (Please see explanation from Pg.2)

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   My eyes were closed during the entire experience; its as though I couldn't (didn't want to?) open them for fear of who and what I would see.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   All hearing was without sound (nothing audible) as much as communication between God and my consciousness

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   No  

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   Shock, terror, guilt, love, peace  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   No  

Did you see an unearthly light?   No  

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
I knew God was communicating with me.  It was not an audible voice as much as He was speaking to my spirit.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   Yes     

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   Yes   I knew my life was being shown to me by God; from an early age until age 37.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   Everything about myself or others  All of my past thoughts and actions were seen and understood without personal subjectivity.   They were seen as independent decisions that either were right or wrong.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   No

Did you come to a border or point of no return?   No

Did scenes from the future come to you?  No 

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   Yes   I knew that because of my sin-guilt I could/would face eternal damnation.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   (Please see detailed account of my experience as recorded on previous pages)

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   Uncertain   I'm unclear what 'mystical universe...oneness, unity means'.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?   Yes   It was clear to me that because I was guilty yet forgiven and shown mercy. I'm required to do the same to others.  I was created out of and from Love and I am obligated to Love well.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   Yes   It was clear to me that I had lived a life of complete selfishness and, in that process, had wounded many people.  I came to realize that without the Truth of God (in His person and through His eternal word/scripture), I would and had become  allied with evil.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   Yes   (See answer to No. 36 above)

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   Yes   I came to realize that there is BOTH a PERVASIVE  evil that exists in the world as well as a very PERSONAL evil that is aimed at each individual. 

I also realized that there is an absolute truth to life and without aligning with that Truth, we become rudderless when navigating life's decisions.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   Yes   I came to realize that having been given mercy and forgiveness by God, I am mandated to extend that same towards others.

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience   I had completely walked away from a companionship with God and became His enemy; believing that God was unjust and uncaring.  My encounter with Him, as previously noted, completely dispelled that belief.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the time of the experience   A single encounter with God, no matter how brief, will change the trajectory of life forever.
 
My experience directly resulted in:   Large changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?   Yes   I became aware of the value that God places on each life and the vital importance of adhering to eternal truths in order to fulfill the plans, hopes and visions that God has for each of us.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   Yes   I've been blessed to have God reveal to me the overwhelming love He has for people. 

I've also been given gifts of wisdom, knowledge, discernment that are beyond me.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?     Yes.  

1.  That there is absolute Truth

2.  That there is a pervasive as well as personal evil

3.  That all things have been born our of Love and our mandate is to love others as we have been/are loved.

Have you ever shared this experience with others?   Yes  I shared my experience with some members of my immediate family.   They knew exactly what had happened and were thankful that it had.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   Yes   Lot of new age reading material and I had been exploring lucid dreaming/hypnosis as a way to enter the world of the spirit.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   my life changed forever in the matter of a few short moments.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real   When there is an encounter with God, all things that were confused and/or unclear become certain.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   It took me almost 6  months to meet in person with those that I had endangered and/or emotionally wounded.  I was able to share with them what had happened and I asked each of them for forgiveness.

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   As the result of my encounter, I have become a desperate lover of God.  As the deer pants for the water, so I pant after God.  I eventually became a pastor.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   Yes   There is no end to the exploration and discovery of what Love is as seen from an eternal perspective and the value it has when it is brought into a temporal/earthly situation.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?   No.

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   Uncertain   See my response to N. 64