Terri M's Experience
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Experience description:
I
had been practicing the mediation according to the instructions in an article I
had read for about six weeks, when I has an OBE. I would sit cross-legged on a
pillow at the head of my bed everyday at the same time in the morning. My
initial attempts to meditate were brutal: I found it very difficult to sit
still and let go of my thoughts, and try to focus on my breath. I got better at
it, and was able to sit for up to an hour by week six. One day, the sitting came
easy, and I focused on blobs of colors (dark purple and gold) floating before my
eyes. I was feeling pleasant, and relaxed. No thoughts. I felt light, and I
noticed I didn't feel the need to take a breath. I took one, but I didn't need
it. So I decided not to take another. The next thing I remember is an
indescribable feeling of peace, and the sensation of floating. It was the most
pleasurable feeling I have ever had, so I opened my eyes, fully conscious of my
surroundings. Nothing was out of place in my room. I had the shades drawn but
they allowed enough light in to see clearly. I could hear cars going by on the
road, my dog outside the door pawing to come in. And that's when I looked down
on myself, and realized I was "up here" and "down there" at the same time. I
wasn't sure what "I" was--I had no sense of a form, but I sure knew what I was
looking down on. My physical body was sitting cross-legged on the bed,
motionless. I heard the dog bark and the next thing I knew I was looking out of
my own two eyes from my sitting position on the bed. I was trembling and felt
fearful. I have never been able to meditate since. The experience left me sure
of two things: It was NOT a hallucination, and if this is what death is like, it
will not be painful.
At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?
No
I was in good health. I had been practicing hatha yoga, following Richard
Hittleman's book and then trying to mediate according to a transcendental
meditation practice I read in a magazine. I walked a couple of miles everyday,
and had no money for a guru or yoga classes in those days. My husband at the
time and I owned a small retail paint store in Delavan WI.
Was
the experience difficult to express in words?
Yes This peaceful feeling is very, very hard to describe. There is nothing
like it to my knowledge on the face of the planet. No drug that I know either.
And the only words we have to describe it are limited. It was joy and peace and
love all mixed together, but those words seem a hollow abstraction next to the
direct experience.
At
what time during the experience were you at your highest level of
consciousness and alertness?
Probably when I opened my eyes while I was above my body. I can still remember
clearly everything in the room, the time of day, the daylight light streaming in
around the sides of the shades, the dog pawing at the door, trying to get in.
How
did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience
compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?
More
consciousness and alertness than normal I am not sure how to answer this
question, really. I feel that I was more acutely aware of my surroundings and
can give details that I would normally never have noticed. The arrangement of
the blankets, the closet door ajar, etc. Stuff I ordinarily don't pay attention
to.
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that
you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.
I am
not sure of this question. I felt all my senses were normal and intact. I had
heightened attention.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that
you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.
I
would have to say that in the beginning of the meditation, I took my attention
away from the sounds of the day, cars going by etc, and tried to focus on my
breath, so during the meditation I had tuned out my surroundings after a time,
and then I recall after opening my eyes, everything was normal hearing wise.
Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that
your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?
No
What emotions did you feel during the experience?
Incredible joy and peace, and the light, floating sensation--unencumbered and
free.
Did
you pass into or through a tunnel?
No
Did
you see an unearthly light?
No
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an
unidentifiable voice?
No
Did
you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who
are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha,
etc.)?
No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?
No
Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?
No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?
No
I
was definitely still in this world, but floating above my body.
Did time seem to speed up or slow down?
No
everything seemed normal.
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?
No
No, but I had a feeling of unity with the universe and a sudden understanding of
myself and others totally unrelated to this experience. It happened some years
after the OBE and I had been sick. I did not have an OBE, but an amazing feeling
knowing that made me fall to my knees and see that the world as all about love.
Did
you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?
No
Did you come to a border or point of no return?
No
Did
scenes from the future come to you?
No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly
life (�life after death�)?
No
Not really. I was surprised to find myself looking down on my body. And once the
experience was over, I was a little frightened.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?
No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?
No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not)
exist?
No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
regarding earthly life�s meaning or purpose?
No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
regarding earthly life�s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?
No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
regarding love?
Yes The feeling of peace and joy was also a feeling of love and lightness
During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information /
awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living
our earthly lives?
Yes We can exist with or without a body. Nothing happened to my body while was
I was not in it. It did not turn blue or suffer any of the usual effects you
would see in a body deprived of oxygen, while I chose not to breathe.
Did
you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?
No
not really.
What occurred during your experience included:
Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of
your experience I had no idea before this happened that I could exist apart
from my body.
How
accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events
that occurred around the time of the experience?
I
remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred
around the time of the experience This experience changed how I viewed life
and death. I feel like I know why the Buddha smiles.
Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your
experience:
I
have searched long and hard for explanations of the OBE, curious to know if this
experience stems from anoxia or if we really do live on. I have two science
degrees, and found a piece of research that suggested the OBE is a type of
hallucination with specific phases. I can guarantee that my experience was not
hallucinatory, and didn't fit their mold. From my experience in critical care, I
have learned that patients quite frequently leave their body and come back to
tell about it. Most are not hallucinatory in nature and are much like my
experience in that everything was normal and they can tell you exactly what was
said in their presence, who is dating who, and any other chit chat that goes on
among nurses.
My experience directly resulted in:
Moderate changes in my life
Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that
occurred as a result of the experience?
Yes unafraid of death. Less fearful of a lot of things. Tons curiosity and
wanting to know more.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your
experience that you did not have before the experience?
No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful
or significant to you?
The
feeling of peace/joy and weightlessness being outside the body is complete
bliss. I can understand why people who make it there would rather stay. But it's
the knowledge that I can exist without a body that punctured my belief in death.
I agree something happens at the end of this life, but it is not T-H-E end of
Life.
Have you ever shared this experience with others?
Yes
I shared right away. People--except my mother who was an ER nurse--thought I was
odd. After I became a nurse, I shared it with nursing colleagues who supported
me on the subject, but while I was in college I wrote an essay about the
experience in great detail. I got an A on the assignment but the professor
thought the experience was "far-fetched." I would discuss it with patients as
needed if they were having a similar experience or were frightened, confused or
just wanted to be believed.
Did
you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your
experience?
No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to
weeks) after it happened:
Experience was definitely real It was definitely real. An amazing experience
that at the same time frightened me after the fact. People-friends and
family-around me invalidated my experience constantly, so as the years pressed
on I wouldn't talk about it. Never once did I think it was a dream.
Skeptics--because they have no direct experience--are the first to attack. And
then, the inability to find the right words to accurately describe the
experience make those who have had direct experience look whacky and so that
doesn't help.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:
Experience was definitely real It was definitely real, and now that more
people feel comfortable talking about these things it is easier for me to be
open about the experience.
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Uncertain
I
don't know how to answer this except that years after the experience I returned
to college and received a BS degree in psychology and a BSN-nursing. I was
called a "natural" by my supervisors and have enjoyed good relationships with
colleagues and all patients, and my family. Prior to the OBE I was shy and
always worried about what other people thought. Was the change in me due to this
experience or growing up in general? Perhaps a bit of both.
Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result
of your experience?
Yes
I do
not participate in any organized religion. I do not go to church, but I do have
a daily spiritual practice of reading spiritual books, journaling and trying to
be as kind as I possibly can to myself, people and animals around me and to the
planet.
At
any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the
experience?
No
Is
there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?
no
Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and
comprehensively describe your experience?
Yes
Are
there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your
experience?
It is really a comprehensive questionnaire. I suggest maybe creating
a separate questionnaire for the OBE in healthy individuals. It is not uncommon
for meditators or other perfectly healthy people to have this experience. It
would be interesting to me if others had the feeling that they didn't need to
breathe, and if like me not breathing had no ill effects on their body. You
won't get this picture in a sick or injured person. It would be interesting to
have first hand knowledge if it's merely a belief in anoxia that turns us blue.