Susan W STE
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Experience description:

Allow me to preface this occurrence with the circumstances at the time.  I had been dealing with a lot of depression and was in a very chaotic marriage.  I had a little girl and was trying to hold it altogether.  I finally separated from my husband and had started attending a support group in a nearby church. (I was working 3 days a week and off on Monday and Friday.)

This particular day (Monday), I was attending my support group as usual.  It was a 10:00 meeting that lasted about an hour and 15 minutes in a large room in a church.  It was usually a rather large group of people, about 20 or so.  I sat down at the large round table and remember the sunshine pouring in the window and thinking how beautiful it was and how much I would like the overhead florescent lights turned off.  At the time, I was afraid to speak up or get up because I thought I would disturb the group. Just as I was thinking this, the lights began shorting out, blinking and buzzing. A lady got up and turned them off and I remember thinking, 'oh, thank you.'

The meeting started with the speaker doing the normal introduction. I began to feel what I can only describe as a thick fog which began to fill the room.  I did not see a thick fog, but it felt like this.  It filled the entire room and permeated every corner of it while pressing in around me.  It was and remains the most incredible Loving Presence I have ever known.  It's just so difficult to put into words. Nothing I can say can describe the enormity of it and the profound sense of love I felt. As I'm sitting there feeling this, I start to mentally go far, far away from the cares of this world.  I'm not aware of the meeting room or any of my surroundings anymore or of time, just going farther and farther away into darkness really. I do not see anything.  Then I'm 'told' - as if transferred to me in a solid packet of knowledge, not through normal hearing - that, 'Everything will be alright, everything is exactly the way it's supposed to be, and all is well.' This was all very reassuring and so loving.  Then slowly,slowly it began to fade. I did not want it to go!  It was like being plugged into the God of my understanding - just the most incredible love.  I became aware of being in the room again, but it was now close to the end of the meeting! An hour or more had gone by and it made no sense to me.  Someone asked if anyone else had anything to share and I felt compelled to say a few words. I don't remember what I said now, but I do remember a few people thanking me afterward saying my words helped them

I am now just mystified about the passage of time.  I'm also wondering how in the world can I share this with anyone without them thinking I'm crazy.  There was one woman in the room I had a close connection with and thought of telling her, but felt I needed some time to just try to grasp what happened.  I cannot figure  out how the meeting went on normally with me sitting there the whole time, but not really being there.  No one seemed to think anything was amiss, yet I felt like I had just gone to Pluto or something.  I drive home and call my friend and explain the whole thing.  I'm thinking she was there and she can tell me if anything was out of the ordinary.  She listend and thank heaven she didn't dispute or make fun of what I described. She said, 'It was a gift.'  I said, 'why me?' and she said, 'why not you?'

 Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience? No     

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words?          Yes    How do you describe love?  It's like trying to put this huge, expansive thing into a tiny box.  English words just do not/cannot convey it.

 At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event? No     

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?      very awake and alert

            Was the experience dream like in any way?  no

 Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?  Yes    I was not aware of my body at all.  I don't know how my body remained sitting in the room with 20-25 other people there and everything proceeded as normal.

 What emotions did you feel during the experience?          Profound love

 Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?         No.  I was 'told', more like mentally embedded with, the statement above.

 LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?   No     

Did you see a light?        No     

Did you meet or see any other beings?         No     

Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state?         No     

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?         No          yes, everything is alright

 Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different? Yes    I couldn't see anything, but I definitely felt it

 Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Yes    I think time as we know it is just earthly time.  I was not aware of time at all and lost about an hour of the meeting even though I was physically sitting there.

 Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?         Yes    Imparted to me as above.

 Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?           No      I was in a space that the only way I can say it is I was allowed to go there

 Did you become aware of future events?      No     

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?          No    
 
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Yes          lights going on and off; having to unplug the tv because it came on by itself; occasionally seeing auras; telling dreams; sometimes just 'knowing' something's going to happen

 Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? Yes    I'm certain of a loving Higher Power I choose to call God.

 How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?   I began meditating on a regular basis.  I know and believe we each have a purpose even though we may not know what that is.  I'm more trusting of myself and my higher guidance.  I left my government job eventually and turned to my art.

 Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes    I would say I am much more open and aware of spirituality.

 Have you shared this experience with others?       Yes    Just a few: my friend Terry who was receptive and told me it was a gift; and a few others who just looked at me, didn't say a word, and walked away; and a minister who said I was 'looking for spiritual highs.'  I'm thankful for Terry.

 What emotions did you experience following your experience? I was just dumbfounded.

 What was the best and worst part of your experience?     The best is experiencing the LOVE.  There is no worst part.

 Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience? Thank you for this forum.  Even though this happened a long time ago now, I will not forget it.

 Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?    No     

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?                     Yes    Yes, as best I could.

 Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.       I'm just grateful there is a vehicle to share like-minded experiences.  Thank you!