Experience description:

Three months after my youngest son was born, on December 2, 2009, I became ill with what I thought was a stomach virus. I was sick all during the night and the next day.  By evening, I called my neighbor for help.  She took me to the ER because I had become very dehydrated and weak.  My blood pressure on admission was 60/40 and could barely sit up. By the next morning I had already lost my sight and was told I had no kidney function. My mother spoke with the doctor and made the decision to transport me to a larger hospital an hour away so I could receive dialysis while in ICU.

On the ride to the hospital I could hear the EMT talking to me and asking me to 'hang on just a little longer'. As soon as I heard him say 'We are turning into the hospital now', I slipped into a coma.

I spent the next week in a coma on life support. I was under palliative care.  I was in complete kidney and liver failure.  My heart and lungs were starting to fail.  I was placed on dialysis, a ventilator, feeding tube, and had 2 central lines for heart medications to keep my heart in rhythm, nutrients and fluids.  The doctors pumped my body with 125 lbs of fluids to keep my blood pressure up and hopefully circulate medications. They pulled the fluids out of my body by the gallons through dialysis. I was taught in the healthcare field that the hearing is the last to go before death. I could hear the nurses around me, and my family visiting me, but I could see or feel nothing.  I could hear my father the first time he saw me and I could hear my sister crying and begging me not to die.  I attempted over and over to speak, clear my throat, wiggle my fingers and toes, squinch my eyes or even smile. Anything to let someone know I was still inside my body and to not give up on me. I felt I would truly go insane from being trapped in a dying body. 

I wondered what was going to happen to me. If I was going to Heaven, Hell or just become nonexistent. I felt I could see things in a spiritual realm although I could not see anything physical. I knew I was not in a sleep cycle because I could hear the people and activity around me, however I could see black four legged demonic creatures crawling up the walls beside me, watching me. I could see them on the ceiling, almost lurking and ready to devour me. I would have sleep cycles and have vivid nightmares. In a recurring nightmare I had to find my way past four lycan type creatures. When I finally made it past them, the nightmares stopped. I could tell the difference between a dream and the visions I saw while I was awake, even though medically I was still comatose.

I was later informed, that on December the 8th (this was my oldest son's 11th birthday), that the doctors had called my family to a meeting to let them know I was continuously declining and they had stopped treating me with any medications. They suggested my family say their goodbyes because I would not make it through the night. My stepfather drove back home to talk with the local funeral home about receiving my body and picking out a burial plot at the local cemetery so that my mother would not have worry about the arrangements.

That same day I had a dream. My oldest son and I were playing in the floor.  I got up and climbed back into my hospital bed. When I looked up my son was standing at the foot of my bed in between two angels who were sitting on the bottom corners of my bed, and he told me, 'Mom, if God can raise Jesus from the dead, He can heal you.' I thought, 'You’re right.' After the dream I could still see the angels. They were clothed in pure white. A white more pure than anything on earth. Their wings were huge and covered their faces.  The angels themselves were massive. Equivalent to someone being 7 or 8 feet tall. I didn't see any demons around and I felt safe.

Later a door appeared to me. A huge massive golden color oak door.  An angel came through the door without opening it.  This angel was a normal human female in bronze colored clothes that shimmered. Her wings looked iridescent.  She came to me, then turned around and left.  A little while later a male angel clothed the same way came through the door, looked at me and then turned and left. I kept trying to see if they were past relatives, maybe my grandparents, but I did not recognize them. Sometime later another female angel came through the door. She came to me and looked me directly in the eyes.  She never spoke from her mouth, it was as if she spoke with her eyes, she said 'You're not who we are looking for.' She then turned and left.

Throughout the night, my mother prayed for me. I could hear my mother, over and over, beg me to fight.  She would say, 'You have to fight! You have to fight for your boys!' She prayed that God would take me another day and not on my son's 11th birthday. And I thought, 'I can’t. I can’t physically fight anything. I don’t have control.' I knew I was dying and there wasn’t anything I could do.  At that point, I cried out to God. I asked God if he was out there to please show me the truth. I was immediately surrounded by light. A bright white light. And I was laying at Jesus feet. I did not physically see Jesus, but I knew he was there and I knew I was wrapped around his feet. All fear and worry and anxieties were gone. For one second I thought of my boys and as soon as the thought came to mind Jesus let me know they will be taken care of.  I didn’t have any other thoughts of what was here on earth, all I wanted to do was serve Him. I was in awe. I experienced complete Joy and happiness, and love. True love. Love I had never felt before. Jesus loved me. After all my wrong choices after all the sin in my life, after all the distrust in Him, He still loved me. He loved me as if I had never sinned.  I wanted to stay with Him forever and never leave His side. I told Him I wanted to stay with Him forever. I asked Him to please not send me back. I knew He would send me back, so I asked Him for gifts to be able to serve Him. I asked Him for the ability to write a book about my experience or the ability to sing in such a way people could feel His love through my song. But Jesus told me, in an audible voice, not through my thoughts or in my heart, but a clear authoritative voice He said, 'I gave you a voice. Go tell people about me.'

On December 10th I squeezed my aunt’s hand. As soon as I was back in my body and awake I felt pain and pressure.  Physical pressure from burdens, Pain from muscle tightness because of anxieties. I worried and was scared. I spent another week in ICU. I eventually came off the ventilator and dialysis. My sight slowly returned and they were able to remove the two central lines and insert a pic line.  I spent 2 weeks in a regular room where I worked with physical therapy and wound care therapy. By the third week I took my first steps and was able to feed myself again.  I worked hard to be strong again and return home.  A bed was ready for me at a rehabilitation center and I was scheduled to stay there another four weeks but when the physical therapist came to access me, He said., 'You're at our discharge level.'  That day my attending doctors had changed rotation, and the incoming doctor came to introduce himself. He said, 'You don’t know me, but I know you.  You were the lady that was dying and we didn’t know why.'