Spencer's Experience
|
Experience description:
At 19 years I have
had several profound meditative experiences and almost immediately after having
exited my third trance I experienced a strange feeling at the top front of my
skull. It felt like the crown of my head was free-falling, a sort of giddy
excited feeling. I felt my eyes roll back into my head and a profound
and ecstatic feeling of clarity came over me as my vision faded into the
background (like the option on your tv to watch a second channel in a smaller
box in a corner of the screen so you can watch baseball and hockey at the same
time). I was still aware of the scene of my room in front of
me but it was a dim perception, like watching it on a tiny screen. Instead I was
cognizant of being in darkness. It was not a cold, empty and frightening
darkness like everyone imagines but instead was filled with the most loving and
caring sensation that I have never felt on this earth. I wanted nothing more
than to lie forever, basking in the glorious darkness that was at the same time
the most loving light that I have ever felt. Like closing your eyes in the
sunshine and receiving a warm hug from a loved one but multiplied by a million. Soon a sneaking suspicion that my 'vacation' (it
certainly had the air of vacation) was about to be cut short came upon me and I
was aware that I had been coaxed from the abyss by two beings who presented
themselves to me as floating blue orbs (I was also represented as such). I
irritatedly asked them why they were bothering me and they said that I was
urgently needed for some kind of situation and that while I slept the other half
of my soul (the half that prefers doing over watching) had decided that she
would go to earth with or without me to resolve this situation, and so slipped
away. I knew that these beings were here to take me from my
place of rest and put me into a human body so that I could resolve or help
resolve the situation they needed me for and also to re-unite with my hasty soul
counterpart. Despite my begrudging sense of duty and my knowledge
that my time of rest was up, I defied these two beings and told them to stuff it
and that I was going back to sleep. They became slightly agitated and told me
that they knew, I knew that I had to comply. However I still was hesitant, remembering past lives
spent on Earth, anguishing painful lives that I was still recovering from. They
mentioned some kind of promise that I had made and that it was no use trying to
back out now. It felt like I was only half awake, caught between two
realities. One of wonderful rest and healing and the other, the possibility (or
perhaps certainty) that I would have to return to Earth. I was still not convinced that I was needed as badly
as they said I was and began drifting back to sleep, half hoping that these
beings would leave me be. What happened instead was the cosmic equivalent of a
scuffle as I felt my essence seized by these beings and heaved into a gently
rotating blue portal that had opened up near us. I had never been as offended as I was when this
happened. I sensed that the two blue beings were my old friends and that we had
shared many adventures but this awakening of my spirit felt like betrayal. Like
I had finally gotten out of the cage only to be forced back in. The vision continued and I was seemingly back in the
dark, warm place of comfort I had just left. I remember thinking that coming
back to Earth was just a bad dream and that I was still safely snuggled up in
the womb of God (for lack of better terminology). My relief was short lived however because actually I
was dozing inside of my physical mother's womb (which is almost a replica
experience of the darkness), and soon the sounds from outside and the atmosphere
of excitement (on the part of others not me) confirmed my worst fears. That the
dream of me being forced to come back to Earth in this time of great strife was
real and that I already had a body and would have to live through another
physical life. Another wave of resentment came over me as a blast of
unimaginable cold, and harsh artificial light hit my face. At this point the
shock basically cut all thought and I became, for all intents and purposes, a
human baby complete with memory wipe and material needs. My mother told me that in her womb, I had gotten
myself into an unfortunate upright and cross legged position that made it
extremely difficult for doctors to deliver me in the normal manner, or even by
cesarean section. She told me that to deliver me she had to undergo emergency
surgery and as a result had a much bigger incision than most cesarean sections.
She said the doctors told her that I was the most difficult to deliver baby they
had ever come across and she told me that she felt me resist my birth. She also told me that for the first year or two of my
life I lived with woolen mittens on my hands because without them I would gouge
rather nasty scratches onto my face. Something I have always considered to be an
unconscious representation of my original displeasure of being once again,
incarnate. Anyways that is my rendition of my pre birth experience.
Any associated medications or
substances with the potential to affect the experience?
No
Was the kind of experience difficult to
express in words? Yes
Words do not factor in, no words were ever exchanged, the entire
experience was completely based on feelings since I had no ears yet to hear. And
feelings are difficult to communicate verbally in this world.
At the time of this experience, was there
an associated life threatening event?
No
What was your level of consciousness and
alertness during the experience?
Elevated from normal
Was the experience dream like in any way?
It felt more real than anything I have
experienced on the earth
Did you experience a separation of your
consciousness from your body? Yes
A pulsating 'floating' orb of pure blue 'energy'
What emotions did you feel during the
experience? Begrudging responsibility,
resentment, betrayal, but still excited
Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?
All interactions happened at a level
beyond sound, I had no ears to hear with anyways
LOCATION DESCRIPTION:
Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar
religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or
amazing creatures? Uncertain
A pitch black realm filled with love and light (darkness and light at the
same time strangely enough)
Did you see a light?
Yes Darkness so
utterly dark that it is also a kind of light.
Did you meet or see any other beings?
Yes Floating
blue orbs, floating in the darkness, they felt like friends and they seemed to
be much more cognizant of the situation than me as they informed me that it was
time to once again assume a human body.
Did you experiment while out of the body
or in another, altered state? No
Did you observe or hear anything regarding
people or events during your experience that could be verified later?
Yes I remember sitting
upright in my mother's womb, a fact she later corroborated.
Did you notice how your 5 senses were
working, and if so, how were they different?
Uncertain the 5 senses
require a body as far as I know
Did you have any sense of altered space or
time? Yes
Throughout the vision I felt as though I was waking up from a deep sleep and so
the grogginess lent itself to the quickening of time.
Did you have a sense of knowing, special
knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
Yes That souls have to
be split in order to fulfill the duality of the physical realms. You are a
complete being but by yourself you are half of a whole. There is a second part
of you that embodies the opposite characteristics and this person can be male or
female regardless of your physical sex.
Did you reach a boundary or limiting
physical structure? Yes.
I was heaved into a large undulating blue portal that looked like a swirling sky
and I was aware that this was the portal to earth.
Did you become aware of future events?
No
Were you involved in or aware of a
decision regarding your return to the body?
Yes Apparently I had
made some sort of vow to return to earth when I was most needed, but I was on
the verge of forsaking that vow because of the painful nature of incarnating
physically. In the end I had to be forced by an outside force into assuming a
human shape.
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or
other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the
experience? No Response
Did you have any changes of attitudes or
beliefs following the experience?
Uncertain This was after my third time meditating and I
had already undergone huge upheavals in my personal world.
How has the experience affected your
relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?
I no longer find the idea of participating in
any kind of corporate environment palatable. I no longer enjoy forming shallow
relationships with people because I recognize that such relationships are
trivial, fake and pointless. Religion and atheistic thought has made way for a
general kind of spirituality.
Has your life changed specifically as a
result of your experience? No
Have you shared this experience with
others? No
What emotions did you experience
following your experience?
Incredulity, a resignation to responsibility, some depression, some joy
What was the best and worst part of your
experience? Because of this experience
I gained insight into why I have the character that I do in physical form.
Finding out about the apathy and lethargy that are a part of my spirit was the
best and worst part of the experience and it has led to insights about many
areas of my life.
Is there anything else you would like to
add concerning the experience?
Sometimes the truth hurts, but sometimes you just have to buckle down and do
what you were made to do.
Following the experience, have you had any
other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part
of the experience? No
Did the questions asked and information
you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?
Yes
Please offer any suggestions you may have
to improve this questionnaire. I'm not
sure. I think that if you are supposed to have knowledge like this you will
receive it and if you are to relate the experience to people then you will do
so. It was pretty comprehensive