Experience description:

The following is a list of things I remember in chronological order.

Before I was born I remember being on a lawn that was very very green, really lush and green.  There were others waiting too, not right near me, I guess like students at a new school, waiting for the bell to say goodbye to (parents?) and make our way across to the castle or fort, very large and solid, with a second storey walk way leading to the main part.  The ground below was a large very very green lawn the edge of which sloped suddenly to the woods. I was told it would be tough but I wanted so badly to go, I wanted to experience the love thing.  I could hardly wait.  There was a small black box that everyone had but it was the green lawn and the slope to the woods and the second storey level stone walkway that stand out in my mind.

At primary school we used to buy frozen flavored ice blocks from the milk bar.  Sometimes inside the wrappers we'd find the word FREE which entitled us to return the wrapper to the shop and swap it for another ice block for free.  I'd never had one of these ice blocks as I never had any money.  The bell went at the end of lunch and I started walking back to the school.  Suddenly I felt pulled, literally compelled, to the rubbish bin about 15 feet away.  Right on top was an ice block wrapper....a FREE.  I remember wondering how I'd known.  Going through bins was not something I did or had ever even thought of doing.  It was definitely strange and I felt that strangeness.

I was working on a farm taking out trail rides.  The owner had been out of action for months but was back on track, new duds, it was great.  The buckle and chain on his horses hackanore was cheap and rusty and didn't look like it would last a pull.  I asked him if he wanted me to make him up a new one thinking he'd definitely say yes I'd better.  He said no and a very loud clear voice in my head said "I'm not going to argue with you today old man".  This voice took me completely by surprise. Later that day, the bridle broke as they returned down the mountain, he came off and died.

I was staying at friends house for a week.  I was dreaming about a brown horse with a blaze in a yard. It was wearing a halter. A white horse cantered up and then I saw both of them cantering away the brown horse still with the halter and with the lead rope dangling loose.  I woke up from the dream to the phone ringing in the hallway.  My friend answered it.  It was his girlfriends mother calling to say her horse had died.  Her horse was brown with a white blaze. 

It was afternoon and I was running some errands. I stopped to pick up 5 cents and laughed at myself for doing so because 5 cents won't buy anything.  About 5 minutes later I picked up another one and had this 'knowledge' that it was a lucky sign.  Soon after I saw another one and bent to pick it up.  I looked around and the air was thick and seemed to vibrate. I knew something was happening or was going to happen.  That night I was walking to the laundromat to do laundry.  I had enough money to do my laundry and buy one can of bourbon and dry to drink while I read the old magazines at the laundromat.  I walked toward the drive through bottle shop and bought my can.  It was dark but the moon was full.  As I left the bottle shop through the back way and walked down the lane I saw the moon reflected in a puddle and in the puddle was a rectangle that I recognised as a dollar note.  I picked it up and there were two of them.  As I walked under the next street light I saw they were 50 dollar notes....

I was planting trees with friends and because it was so hot we stopped planting and began potting up seedlings in the shade.  We worked quietly and efficiently and suddenly I had a clear vision of a red back spider.  I mentioned this to my friend who carefully inspected the next pot he picked up.  There was a red back in it.

This one is more serious.

A house mate was pregnant and radiant with health and vigour.  Some of her friends were over and they were chatting about babies and how wonderful it was all going to be.  I wondered how things would be if they weren't great, if something went wrong and I asked her as lightly as I could.  It was serious but I had to ask it.  Some conversation ensued and then we went our separate ways.  Some time later, weeks perhaps, I was in the kitchen when she walked in following her belly as very pregnant women seem to do, you know, when they are due very soon and the belly is everything.  I placed my hands on her belly and asked how bub was doing but at that very moment I shuddered and stepped back to the sink.  I apologized and didn't know why I'd' done that.

About a week before she was due' to give birth she had a women's circle in a teepee and at the last moment I learned we each had to take a bead to thread as a necklace for the baby.  The only bead I could find was a black multifaceted glass bead.  I was worried that black symbolised death and wasn't a nice choice but I had nothing else and justified it by adding that death is a part of the life cycle and not to be avoided.  We were, after all, well rounded realistic strong women....the baby was born with severe facial deformities and survived only a few days.

As I was doing everything possible to secure a mortgage to buy a house I called on my grandmother, deceased many years, who we had left behind when we migrated here to help me.  I did it boldly and cheekily, as if our grandparents owe us at least one big helping hand in life.  Amazingly I heard her shift her heavy old body from a reclining position to sit up.  A month later I secured a house that had the 3 things i wanted at the very least.  The house had been listed on my birthday....

Now I want to find and greet my real father while we can and maybe grandfather (long deceased but much like me I'm told) will help?  I will ask.

Thank you for the opportunity to write these things down.  There were a few others that I've always vowed to remember but I think I have forgotten them at this minute.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?      No Response        

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words?          No Response        

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event? No Response        

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?    mostly wide awake except for the dream

            Was the experience dream like in any way?  no

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?   No     

What emotions did you feel during the experience?          excitement

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?         a couple of times I heard a loud clear thought in my head, as clear as a voice,

LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?         No     

Did you see a light?        No     

Did you meet or see any other beings?         Uncertain          waiting for my turn to live they were there but I paid no attention to their looks or what they were wearing

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes    the air became thick like a gel and began to vibrate.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?         Yes    I just knew but sometimes I didn't know I knew at the time.     

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?     Yes    I became aware this stuff happens

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?   I feel wary around rational people who refuse to consider irrational things occur.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes    I am aware these things happen and that our experience is not as rational or easily explained as we think.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?   awe, humility,

What was the best and worst part of your experience?          best part was benefiting from these things