Ronda's Experience
|
Experience description:
Then, at 23, I
was in an abusive marriage. I was planning a work related party and suddenly
felt the same thing. I was talking with groups of people, and felt that I was
watching myself from the right. It felt like I was channeling through my own
body and that I had no connection at all. It lasted for three days. I went
to a doctor, who prescribed Xanax for me telling me it was a panic attack.
After doing research on panic attacks, I realize that the only thing I had in
common with that is the stress. Nothing else.
The third time,
I was faced with an unwanted pregnancy. I was unsure of what to do. I was
sitting and meditating and then all the sudden I was on the right side of my
body again and watching myself. Again, I had no emotional ties and felt more
objective about it all then ever in my life. I know I am not crazy. I am not
really religious. But this is something I have dealt with for a long time, and
what used to scare me, has recently become more acceptable. Now when it
happens, I just embrace it and let is pass when it needs to.
The
first time, I was 17 and my boyfriend had broken up with me. I sat in my bed
and started to cry. I suddenly felt as if I was on my right looking at
myself. The weird thing was that I had no feeling towards myself or anything
in general. It lasted a few minutes.
Any
associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the
experience?
No
Was
the kind of experience difficult to express in words?
Yes
How
do you explain that you are on the right side of your body attached by a black
tornado rope watching yourself interact with your environment? People would not
understand, so why even try...
At
the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening
event?
No
What
was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?
Usually alertness is low, being emotionally distraught, although it has also
been high planning the party. during the experience, the part of me that is
floating has no emotion, really.
Was the
experience dream like in any way?
YES! It was
like I was in a dream. My vision is distorted. It looks like I am in a long
tunnel and everything is far away. It feels like I have no periferial vision
and my body and the world as I know it is at the end of a long black string that
is like a tornado rope or something.
Did
you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?
No
I was
always aware of the presence of my body, although not physically. I am aware
it is there I must go back to it, but I really have little physical feeling in
it. Once, the tunnel seemed particularly long.
What
emotions did you feel during the experience?
I used to be
afraid, now I think it is sort of cool. Usually, emotional stress can make this
happen.
Did
you hear any unusual sounds or noises?
no, it seems
like everyone is speaking in an echo tunnel. I have a hard time hearing them
and have to ask them to repeat themselves often. It seems like everything is
far away, sounds, smells, etc.
LOCATION DESCRIPTION:
Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar
religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or
amazing creatures?
Uncertain
I do
not believe in hell or heaven. I believe that nobody can possibly know the
outcome of death until it happens. Therefore, I sort of denounce religion that
tries to tell me how to live in order to gain spirituality. Religion has no
particular influence on my OBE's whatsoever
Did
you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state?
No
no,
not yet, but last time it happened, I embraced it instead of being afraid. I
believe I am starting to get this thing down and would like to try to experiment
with it if it happens again.
Did
you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience
that could be verified later?
No
No.
People are unaware. They can't understand and since I am a respected person, I
favor my credibility among my peers more then trying to tell them about
something they will never believe.
Did
you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they
different?
Yes
They
were barely working at all. My vision, hearing, smell, taste, and touch are
almost non-existent. It literally feels like even though I am myself, I am
outside of my body and only connected with a long tornado rope type thing.
The rope is consisted of distorted pictures of the world around me. The whole
thing is a weird deal. I am sure it is something psychological, but what?
Did
you have any sense of altered space or time?
Uncertain
Yeah,
sort of. Even though I am aware of what time it is, if I close my eyes I am in
a place that has no time or sense of space. It just feels like the world as I
know it and consciousness as I know it rapidly getting smaller and smaller. It
is difficult to explain.
Did
you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or
purpose?
No
Did
you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?
Uncertain
The
only boundary was that I was still attached to my body. I was not ready to
venture farther. I get a feeling that I was just testing the waters or
something. It is like the part of me that goes out is something I have little
control over. Call it my soul, if you will, but it is totally separate from my
mind in my physical body.
Did
you become aware of future events?
No
Were
you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?
Yes
Yes,
I can make myself go back into my body if I start to feel uncomfortable. This
is just a discovered skill from the last time this happened, just a few months
ago. Usually, though, I have no choice, and my fear makes me come back
immediately.
Did
you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience
that you did not have prior to the experience?
Uncertain
I
just started to develop these gifts the last few years, but have always had a
high intuition since I was a child. So, I do not know if they are related to
one another. I seem to be able to translate messeges from relitives and friends
to people, most of them are ones I do not know. Sometimes I give the messege,
other times I don't depending on how receptive I can see the individual is.
Did
you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
No
No, I
thought that I was just crazy the first couple times it happened. The psychic
ability is what made me change from atheisim and look at these experiences for
what they truely are.
How
has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices?
Career choices?
No. The people
who have this happen to them when they are on death door, I feel for them. It
can change their life. For me, it happens more often and without the element
of death, so the need for me to change my life is really not required or needed.
Has
your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?
No
Have
you shared this experience with others?
No
No.
Most do not understand.
What
emotions did you experience following your experience?
A lessening of
emotional stress and usually a need to sleep. A little bit of fear I suppose,
but that seems to be more under control then in the past.
What
was the best and worst part of your experience?
The fear is the
worst. The best is knowing that I may have the hang of it now and a desire to
harness it if I can.
Is
there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?
This has
also happened during an orgasm once. I swear. I did not tell the person, but
it did happen. I wonder where that guy is these days... LOL!
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life,
medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
No
Did
the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively
describe your experience?
Yes
The
questions are great. I hope I explained my crazy little brain and OBE
experience good enough to decipher. You questions do tend to be geared twoards
the Near Death Experience, however. There are others out there like me, I am
assuming, who have this without the element of death being involved.
Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.
None to
offer.