Ren�e
D's Experience
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Experience description:
From
my book: Your Quantum Heart (on Amazon)
It
was a weekend morning and I was sleeping in. Still too young to have a job but
by now old enough to take on a share of my mother's housework, I was lolling
around in avoidance of Saturday morning chores. I was noticing how the morning
sun barely penetrated the thick brown curtains over my desk on the other side of
the room. The curtains allowed a frame of bright sunlight around their edges,
which illumination bent over the desk and angled steeply towards the floor. The
first aromas of breakfast wafted up the stairs as my mother moved about in the
kitchen below. A funny thought crossed my mind.
I
remembered my grandmother's enjoinder about how to pray. I could see her in my
mind's eye, showing me just what to do. It occurred to me to try this now. Still
warm under the covers I raised my arms as she had shown me and looking up
towards the ceiling, I asked.
In
what I can only now describe with the benefit of adult reasoning and vocabulary,
I was suddenly lifted into another dimension. How do I know this? I know this as
viscerally and innately as I draw breath, as I need water and food to live. This
place, or rather this 'state', was more real, more 'dimensional' than anything I
had ever experienced, ordinary consensual reality of our day to day being more
like a cardboard cutout in comparison to this paradigm, this place that is right
beside 'here'.
Softly vibrating yet solidly interwoven in every direction were filaments of
warm, shimmering golden breathing light, as though my spirit were awakened into
an infinite living cocoon. This place was peace, joyous, alive with a deep
flowing love that infiltrated every atom of my being. I was utterly safe,
protected and, while having no sense of bodily density, sort of floating gently
in sublime warmth and eternal comfort. There was no 'I' in this place in the
sense of taking up space, but I did have a pinpoint of awareness, an ability to
think, sense, process.
I
thought to ask, 'Where am I?' and directly I was given this knowledge, 'You are
in the palm of God's hand.'
My
rabbit brain went quickly to work. What else can I learn about this place? Where
am I really? But as I began to articulate thoughts, everything transformed
again. My awareness felt like it dropped downwards and back into my body and
into a mundane dream state. The achingly beautiful fire-threads of light, dimmed
and morphed themselves into the downy furze of a baby duck. I had become a
duckling.
I
waddled along unsteadily, swaying awkwardly side to side on two fragile floppy
feet, chasing down my siblings and my mother who was up ahead, a big white duck
who was looking back at us over her shoulder. We, her offspring, toddled across
the barnyard in pursuit.
At
the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?
No
Was
the experience difficult to express in words?
Yes It's like trying to describe a color no one has ever seen, or celestial
music - beyond comprehending in any normal sense, so few words describe it...
At
what time during the experience were you at your highest level of
consciousness and alertness?
Before it descended into a mundane dream it felt super conscious.
How
did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience
compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?
More
consciousness and alertness than normal Have never felt that 'dimensional'
since. Huge access to much more what I would call supersensory input. Normal
life seems cardboard by comparison and I did not want to return.
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that
you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.
Extremely powerful and extra dimensional. More than this world's as we know it.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that
you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.
It
was very quiet. Did not seem to hear what I was told so much as have it encoded
or assured in my mind, by a presence.
Did
you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your
consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?
No
What emotions did you feel during the experience?
Powerful love - beyond anything human, compassion, bliss, peace, safety,
equanimity, comfort, wonder. All supercharged - nothing like it before or since,
except for a couple more times when I began to be spontaneously drawn into this
'state'.
Did
you pass into or through a tunnel?
No
Did
you see an unearthly light?
Yes
Did
you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable
voice?
I
encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
The voice that told me where I was was inextricably tied into and implicit with
the light or state I was in.
Did
you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who
are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha,
etc.)?
No
Did
you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?
No
Did
you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?
No
Did
you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?
A
clearly mystical or unearthly realm
How
I describe it now is meeting the divine. Extra dimensional, or perhaps a larger
expression of our consciousness.
Did
time seem to speed up or slow down?
Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
It
was out of time for sure. And later when I tried to tell my mother about it,
time stopped. Also in my book. Can elaborate later if you wish.
Did
you suddenly seem to understand everything?
Everything about the universe
In so far as we are extremely powerful and made of love, what else is there to
understand... this was the upshot of this state.
Did
you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?
Uncertain
While I had no body, I definitely had sensation of a sort that I could identify.
Did
you come to a border or point of no return?
No
Did
scenes from the future come to you?
No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly
life (�life after death�)?
Yes As the experience was so profound, I was certain that this was our real
nature and not the body we live in.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?
Yes
Yes, I was taught to pray in a certain way as a child. When I did so, I was
transported into another realm, benevolent, achingly beautiful, utter peace and
the sense that I was loved and looked after. You could feel that as palpably as
a parent fawns over its child. Something was making an attempt to inform me of
our true nature, something with a lot more knowledge than myself, so I'm not
sure how to describe that being other than one more consciously endowed.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?
Yes Absolutely. I was a skeptical child. Questioned everything I heard in
church and thought it was foolish. It's almost as though the divine said, forget
all that, how about this? My skepticism was fully formed as soon as I had the
self awareness to ask questions. I can only put that down to pre-this life
experience. Not specific information during the experience, per se, just the
awareness of a hugely bigger life form that we inhabit, that is not the body,so
pre-existance I kind of assume.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not)
exist?
Yes Please see my description above of the event. That says it all. I
interpret this and have written about it as meeting entanglement theory in pure
consciousness; so, it seems our individual consciousness is just a little
pinpoint of sensory data in the sea of all that is.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
regarding earthly life�s meaning or purpose?
Yes The utter peace and equanimity bestowed by the experience tells me that
everything, no matter how bad it looks, is really OK - and that we are in a
lifeschool to come to this knowledge and trust.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
regarding earthly life�s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?
Yes The utter peace and equanimity bestowed by the experience tells me that
everything, no matter how bad it looks, is really OK - and that we are in a
lifeschool to come to this knowledge and trust.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
regarding love?
Yes Yes. What we call love is so paltry even in its highest expression. The
love I felt was its own dimension that seems to contain everything else.
During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information /
awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living
our earthly lives?
Yes The innate knowledge that everything is/will be OK no matter how many
wrong turns we take.
Did
you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?
Yes Absolutely, I feel like I have visited my own or creations perfect
template. I really feel the need to communicate this as it is a gift. As
mentioned have been there several times since - again gifted with the
experience, almost as a reminder that things are not what they seem.
What occurred during your experience included:
Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at
the time of your experience Well, I was 10 and had no concept of this
dimension, only the dogma I'd heard that allegedly God loves us. This experience
was and still is so beyond imagining that I ache to make it known, especially to
those who are fearful or despairing.
How
accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events
that occurred around the time of the experience?
I
remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred
around the time of the experience The most vivid experience of my life, bar
none. This world we live in feels like a shadow or mock up in comparison.
Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your
experience:
This
was a defining moment that set me on a path of seeking and of the sense of
living in two worlds. I have looked to see this experience described elsewhere
and the closest I've come is other's nde's. My sense is that there are many
places for awareness to lodge when we are born into the next dimension and this
account for the differences in people's stories.
My experience directly resulted in:
Large changes in my life
Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that
occurred as a result of the experience?
Yes Yes, As soon as this occured, I had knowledge and did not require faith. I
knew God would protect me and in fact prayed my way out of many dangerous
situations, one of which I recently discovered resulted in my life being spared,
when another young woman chased down by the same stalker was murdered. A cold
case in the neighbourhood where I grew up.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful
or significant to you?
Yes.
The fact that both under duress in life and in peaceful states, I have been
invited back into this experience. I was hesitant to follow the transformation
into what I would call 'light' as I was concerned that I would die to this world
and I was not ready to go.
Do
you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience
that you did not have before the experience?
Uncertain Yes I have many gifts this way, but not sure if they were there
before the age of 10.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful
or significant to you?
Yes.
The fact that both under duress in life and in peaceful states, I have been
invited back into this experience. I was hesitant to follow the transformation
into what I would call 'light' as I was concerned that I would die to this world
and I was not ready to go.
Have you ever shared this experience with others?
Yes
Until recently, no. I'm sure most people think I'm touched. As a lay chaplain if
I convey some of my certainty to dying people, they are definitely appeased.
Somehow this experience continues to offer inspiration for when I am dealing
with troubled people. I try to get out of the way of what spirit offers.
Did
you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your
experience?
No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to
weeks) after it happened:
Experience was definitely real The extra dimensionality of it, the imprinting
of knowledge/knowing was so utterly powerful - so this feels like a silly
question. Kind of indescribable to the dualistic mind. Like above we talk about
'God' but I do not presume to describe what that means.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:
Experience was definitely real It was/is utterly real and accessible -
although I don't know what provokes it other than my own experience. It was an
important gift of awareness and knowledge but often makes me feel like a Martian
on this planet, so I try to be credible in all things. How could I tell anyone
about this????
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Yes
Certainty that I am where I am supposed to be and with whom and in which
family...
Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result
of your experience?
Yes
My
views are very broad. I am studying JJ Hurtak. It feels like there is a path for
conciousness and a giant metaphorical story - like archetypes - that we progress
through in this life and the next and the next dimension after that. Although as
a lay chaplain, I usually work in the Christian tradition as that is mostly what
I encounter at the hospital where I volunteer.
At
any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the
experience?
Yes Spontaneously, on two occasions, I have been pulled back into that state.
Is
there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?
So
grateful to be able to share it here. One does not have to die to encounter the
divine, although it seems to be a powerful jumping off point for so many people.
I don't understand why I was given this experience and feel that perhaps my
seeking and discovery of a kind of bigger context for it all may be the reason.
I am trying to tell more people about it now.
Did
the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and
comprehensively describe your experience?
No
Many of the questions come from a limited assumption for how we frame this
experience, and so it feels a bit disingenuous to answer questions about 'God'.
In other words the reference points for the questions feel constraining.