Ray C's Experience
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This is a rather lengthy dialogue, so I hope you are patient.
Before getting to the experience, itself, please allow me to tell a little about
myself, as I feel that it might, hopefully, give a little insight into how
atypical the experience was, when compared to my personal lifestyle and beliefs
at the time.
To
put it in a few words, science had always been my 'god,' as it were, even from
early childhood. My family was completely non-religious in any and every way.
Other than to scoff, I can remember no discussion of religion or God at any time
while growing up.
By
the time I was twelve, I had gotten my amateur radio operator's license. That
same year, my uncle, who was a nuclear physicist, took me through the cyclotron
(a now-outmoded subatomic particle accelerator) in the high-energy physics
building at the University of Washington, which so impressed my young,
idealistic mind that I, then and there, decided to become a theoretical
physicist. I was hooked on science from that point on.
In
high school, I was a teacher's assistant for the biology teacher, which then
made me want to become a physician.
After joining the navy, I went through electronics school, thereafter working on
the radars, radios, and other electronics equipment aboard ship.
After being discharged, I entered the University of Washington and got a BS in
biology, then taught high school physics and chemistry for thirty-six years,
before retiring in 2005.
All science.
Anything that smacked of the so-called 'paranormal' would give cause for me to
only smirk, give an eye roll, or laugh outright at such nonsense. Such things as
near-death experiences, spiritual matters, or other-worldly events seemed to be
only so much New Age silliness, equal in credibility to the Tooth Fairy or Santa
Claus. If something couldn't be observed, repeated, measured, and explained by a
logical theory embraced by
mainstream science, then it wasn't worth my time; all else existed only in the
realm of conjecture and was, therefore, 'unscientific.'
But all of that was turned upside down within about five minutes at around the
age of 59 or 60 (I can't remember the exact date, now).
But before, I can get to the experience, itself, I must explain a little more.
Once again, please bear with me, as I feel it is relevant.
Teaching, if done correctly, is a very high-stress job. Preparing for each day's
classes, especially for a physics and chemistry teacher, requires a lot of
activity. Aside from the already-hectic pace that other teachers must keep
(photocopying hand-outs, grading papers, planning lessons, filling out
office/counselor-generated paperwork, communicating with parents, calculating &
posting grades, attending faculty and parent meetings, etc.), there were lab.s
to prepare, chemical to mix, and lab.s to clean up. All in all, it was a
seemingly impossible regimen.
But, far more important than any of that, of course, was the act of teaching,
itself. My students were juniors and seniors who were taking physics and
chemistry because they were college-bound. They would leave my physics class in
June, after their senior year, only to be sitting in a college-level physics
class three months later. It was my job to prepare them for that highly
competitive setting, a responsibility that I took very seriously. They, in turn,
were serious, hard-working kids who would often show up at my lab door, TI-83
graphing calculators in hand, both before and after school, wanting help with
understanding a difficult concept or physics equation. They were great kids and
truly a privilege to teach.
But, in order to keep pace, I would arrive at school before the other teachers.
For much of the year, it would be dark, and my car would be the only one in the
faculty parking lot. In order to gain entrance to the building, I had to key in
a numeric pass code, which deactivated the Sonitrol alarm system. The only other
person on campus at that time was usually the custodian, who was always on the
far end of the campus, setting up chairs in the cafeteria, several buildings
away from the science wing. He would then work his way northward, unlocking
doors, turning on lights and the ventilation systems, moving toward the science
wing, arriving much later.
After entering the building and deactivating the alarm system, my routine was to
immediately go into my lab., then into my little office, where I would relax by
meditating for about half an hour. And, no, it wasn’t any type of
religious-oriented meditation, of course, but consisted of merely sitting in my
office chair with my eyes closed, relaxing, and clearing my mind in preparation
for the ensuing, fast-paced day. There have been an abundance of good,
scientific studies, done by reputable university physiology labs, which
demonstrate the benefits, both physical and mental, of quiet meditation, so I
was completely onboard with all that. No mantrams, no incense, no bells, no
weird postures, crystals or other such silly trappings, just quiet, peaceful
relaxation.
Now to my experience.
On
the morning of my bizarre experience, I had been meditating like that for
probably twenty minutes, when I experienced something which sounds like an
anecdote from a psychiatrist’s notebook, taken during an interview with a
psychopathic patient. Even at this point, I hesitate to describe it, for fear of
being viewed as a complete nut case, but here goes: All of a sudden, the room
was filled with a very strong smell of roses.
I can’t overemphasize the words ‘very strong,’ as it was as though
someone had opened a bottle of rose-scented perfume and poured it onto the floor
of my little office. The smell was so strong that it actually made me suddenly
jolt/stiffen in my chair and open my eyes, as though I had been physically
prodded in some way. My immediate reaction was a startle response and disbelief
at what I was experiencing. I then opened the office door and stepped out into
the lab to see what was going on, but, to my surprise, the air in the lab. was
completely normal at that point; no smell except that overpowering one within my
office, itself.
I
stood there with my mouth open, trying to make sense of it all, beginning to
doubt my own sanity, when, at that point, I heard the large, heavy doors at the
end of the outer hallway clang, as they shut, indicating that someone had just
entered the building. I crossed the lab and stepped out, into the hall to see
two of my colleagues arriving at school, lunches in hand. So I waved to them,
asking them to come. They did, with puzzled looks on their faces, and asked what
was up.
After having them come into the lab and approach the door to my office, I very
carefully avoided saying anything other than, “Do you notice anything?” Those
were my exact words. I was cautious to avoid saying anything that would ‘steer,’
or, lead them to the strange experience that I was trying to understand. One of
them, a biology teacher, said, “I smell roses.” (By that time, the smell had
then drifted out of my office to the area directly in front of the door, where
we were standing) I then looked at the other colleague without saying anything,
and he nodded in affirmation. I then told them what had happened. The first one,
who said, ‘I smell roses,’ simply laughed and said, “See, I told you so.
Somebody is trying to tell you something.” This comment was in reference to the
fact that she & I would often engage in friendly, joking banter about religion
and God, as she is a Christian and I, in turn, would often tease her about
believing in such silly things as a guy floating around in an ark full of
giraffes, elephants, etc. At that point she just laughed, turned, and walked
away. The other teacher, a staunch atheist, simply rolled his eyes, shook his
head and walked off, smiling, as though he was in the company of two crazies.
So
there it is. It might not sound like much to the hearer of such a story, but I
guess it’s one of those things that you would have to experience yourself, in
order to feel the full impact of it. If anyone had told me such a thing, as
stated, I would have dismissed it as being simply an olfactory hallucination
(there is such a thing, albeit rare, when compared to the incidence of visual or
auditory hallucinations).
However, I now had to deal with several facts:
1.
Two other people verified what I sensed---without any prompting at all.
2.
I was alone in the building, having deactivated the alarm system.
3.
Even if anyone else had entered my lab., I would have easily heard them, since
the building was totally quiet. The ventilation system had not yet been turned
on, so it was very quiet.
4.
Immediately upon getting out of my chair and stepping out of the office, the
overpowering smell was not noticeable in the lab., itself. It was present only
in my little office, a room that is about fifteen feet in length and width. How
is that possible?
What that whole incident was about, what it meant, and how it happened, I will
never know.
After doing research, I have not been able to find another similar account,
except a few mentioning's of the smell of roses as being believed by many to
indicate that someone has died. However, I did not know of anyone who had died
at that time. So, although I have little to no hope that anyone else could shed
light on what it meant, I guess that I am, nevertheless, casting a net of
inquiry, hoping for an answer to a question that would seem to be
unanswerable.
The only thing that has come out of the whole bizarre incident, for me, is that
I now know, beyond any reasonable doubt (as they say in a courtroom) that there
truly is far more to this universe and life than can be accounted for by
mainstream science. Beyond that, I have no idea what there is ‘out there.’
Physics, as with other sciences, is not concerned with the 'why' of the
phenomena which we experience in this life, but rather the 'how.' The whole
notion of 'why' things happen implies a goal-oriented purposefulness that, in
turn, implies a driving intelligence behind such a goal. As soon as you begin to
question why things happen, you leave the realm of objectivity and enter the
subjective, nebulous realm of conjecture; e.g., we all know how genetic
information is propagated via transcription and translation within the cell, but
why it is so remains a mystery that is not the stuff of science, but rather
metaphysics, philosophy, and theology. For that reason, I can only walk away
from my experience with a 'beyond reasonable doubt' that what happened was
impossible to explain via the current standard scientific model. Furthermore, in
this case, I cannot even begin to explain how it could have happened, let alone
why it happened.
So
now, twenty years later, I am still left in a state of confused amazement, but
also with an open mind to matters that, before, I would never have considered
possible.
Thank you for reading my account. Admittedly, I don't really know why I am going
to the bother to relate all of this, other than to 'get it off my chest,' I
guess.
Any associated
medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?
No
Was the kind of experience difficult to express in
words?
No
At the time of this experience, was there an
associated life threatening event?
No
What was your level of consciousness and alertness
during the experience?
I
was in a meditative state of mind; relaxed and tranquil.
Was the experience dream like in any way?
Not at all.
Did you experience a separation of your
consciousness from your body?
No
What emotions did you feel during the experience?
I
was totally startled, amazed, and confused at what was happening.
Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?
No
LOCATION DESCRIPTION: Did
you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious
teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing
creatures?
No
Did you see a light?
No
Did you meet or see any other beings?
No
Did you experiment while out of the body or in
another, altered state?
No
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people
or events during your experience that could be verified later?
Yes
'What I smelled was almost immediately
verified by two other people who had not been present when I first smelled it.
They had no idea what I was referring to, when I asked them if they noticed
anything.
Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and
if so, how were they different?
Yes
This question is stated rather
ambiguously. Did you mean to say, 'Did you notice if your 5 senses were working
differently, and if so, how were they different?' My senses, themselves, were
working normally; however, what I sensed was very abnormal, given the
circumstances.
Did you have any sense of altered space or time?
No
Did you have a sense of knowing, special
knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
No
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical
structure?
No
Did you become aware of future events?
No
Were you involved in or aware of a decision
regarding your return to the body?
No
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other
special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the
experience?
No
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs
following the experience?
Yes
I now realize that there are things in
this world/life that cannot be explained by logical, rational scientific
methodology using the standard model of physics and biology. Before this event
occurred, I was truly a close-minded person regarding anything that smacked of
the 'paranormal,' spiritual, etc. as being nothing more than nonsense; however,
I am now open-minded to such possibilities, after being directly,
unintentionally involved in such a paranormal phenomenon.
How has the experience affected your
relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?
No
Has your life changed specifically as a result of
your experience?
Yes
As already stated, I now am more
open-minded about paranormal ideas.
Have you shared this experience with others?
Yes
For a while, I was reticent to even
mention such a strange thing; however, since it was what it was, I realized that
I was being more 'non-scientific' by not opening up to others and discussing it.
The reaction to the whole thing has been mixed by others, with some being
surprised and others simply writing it off as being explicable by some logical
reason, such as perhaps somebody passed my office who was wearing rose-scented
perfume--a facile hypothesis that would be completely impossible, given the
tight circumstances given, such as the quietness of the area at the time, the
fact that I was sitting behind three sets of locked doors, I knew that I was
alone in the building just having turned off the Sonitrol, the fact that the
smell existed only in my office, not outside of it, and--most of all--the
overpowering strength of the odor, itself.
What emotions did you experience following your
experience?
Extreme disbelief and confusion. Initially, I began to
question my own senses, which is why I asked my colleagues who had just arrived,
if they noticed anything. This question was stated in a completely neutral
manner; i.e., without giving any hints as to what I expected them to notice.
What was the best and worst part of your
experience?
The best: It was an eye-opener in the sense that I
now--somehow--have been 'given' (I almost hate to use that word) the knowledge
that there is a whole realm of unexplored phenomena that lies outside of what we
normal experience; just what it is I cannot even begin to surmise.
Experience description 2516:
Okay, this is probably
going to sound completely crazy to anyone who reads it. I know that it seemed
crazy to me, when it happened, and still does. But no matter how it sounds, I
can guarantee you that it did happen exactly as I am about to describe, and it
was an event that was verified by two completely independent witnesses.
It is this last fact
that should lend credibility to the account, for anyone who is skeptical. Of
course, for those who prefer to remain skeptical, I suppose they can just assume
that I am either lying or else I was, in some way, delusional or otherwise
mistaken. As to the former, I can say that I really don�t care whether anyone
believes this account of what I experienced or not, because I am not trying to
convince anyone of anything period. I know what happened, and whether or not
anyone else believes it is their problem, not mine. As to the question of
whether or not I was delusional or simply mistaken, I guess that you would
simply have to trust my sanity, as well as that of the two other people who
verified the experience, both science teachers. I, too, would probably smile
and roll my eyes, if I had been told of such an incident. However, again, as
stated, this event was verified by two other individuals, one of whom is a very
skeptical individual by nature, a person who prides himself as being a purist,
in terms of being scientific and objective. In fact, I would go beyond that
label, viewing him as being not just a skeptic, but rather a cynic.
The entire incident
took only about five minutes, from beginning to end, and will probably not sound
all that interesting to anyone who was not present. As with anything, hearing
about such an occurrence is nothing like experiencing it, firsthand.
About ten years ago, it
was, as it still is, my practice to begin each day with a half-hour period of
quiet meditation, so as to calm my mind, thereby �setting the pace� for the
forthcoming, hectic day. Back then, before I retired, it was far more
challenging to remain calm, as my days were stressful from beginning to end. The
beginning usually consisted of students standing at my classroom door, needing
help with either physics or chemistry, even before I had unlocked it; this, of
course, prevented me from being able to mix chemicals, set up labs, or even go
down and do some photocopying, all normal, essential preparations for any lab.
science teacher. And, after the last bell rang at the end of the day, there
were usually students coming in, wanting help, as well; many of these were not
even my students, but rather those from other teachers� classes. And so it
went. The stress continued even after I got home, right up to bedtime, when I
had usually just finished grading a stack of papers or previewing the next day�s
lesson plans. In between those two daily endpoints, I had to keep my eye on the
clock, pacing my every word and thought, so as to ensure that I covered
everything in the day�s lesson. Life in the classroom is literally run by bells
which ring every hour, every day, every week. It is not a laid-back endeavor,
if you �teach bell-to-bell,� as the saying goes, in the education game. And so,
to lower my stress, I would arrive earlier than anyone else, in order to get
this meditation time in. The only other person on campus at that time was the
custodian, who was always way down on the lower end of the campus, unlocking
doors and setting up the cafeteria. The parking lot was empty, each morning,
and I would enter the building, go into my lab., and without turning on any
lights, go into my office, where I would settle into my chair, close my eyes and
just clear my mind for the next half hour. The outer doors at either end of the
hallway were large, heavy, and would shut with a resoundingly loud clang,
allowing me to hear, if anyone entered the quiet building at that time of day.
On the morning in
question, I had been sitting there, alone in the dark and quiet, for about the
entire half hour, meditating with my eyes closed, when suddenly, I smelled
roses. It wasn't just a faint, mild scent of roses, but a very strong, powerful
smell, as though someone had just thrust a large bouquet of roses directly under
my nose. It was such a powerful smell that it caused me to stiffen in my chair
and open my eyes, wondering what was going on. During the entire time that I
had been meditating, I had not heard anyone enter the building. The whole room
now smelled like roses, so I stepped out of my office, into the dark classroom
and looked around, then stepped out into the long hallway, looking both
directions. The classroom was empty and the hallway was likewise. It was just
at this point that the door far down at the end of the hallway opened, and I saw
two of my colleagues, Matt and Gayle, entering from the parking lot, lunches in
hard. They were the first to enter the building, after I had arrived, about a
half hour earlier. I yelled at them, and asked them to come down to my room.
They looked puzzled, as they came into the lab, asking me what was up. I didn�t
say anything, but asked them to come into my office, where I said, �Do you
notice anything?� That was all that I said, not wanting to give any further
information. Matt, still looking puzzled, said that he smelled roses, and when
I looked at Gayle, she nodded in affirmation. When they repeated their question
about wanting to know what was going on, I had to admit that I didn�t really
know what was going on, except that I had been meditating in my office, when I,
too, was suddenly jolted �awake� by the powerful smell of roses. Matt then
simply looked at me, grinned, shook his head, as though I was crazy, and walked
off, into his classroom, which adjoined mine. Gayle, the other science teacher
laughed, and, as she walked off, jokingly said, �I told you so, Ray.
Somebody's
trying to tell you something!� This remark came as a private joke between us,
as she, being quite the opposite from Matt, is a very devout Christian, who had
often joked with me about my unbelief in such spiritual matters as the existence
of God, and would often say that one day, sooner or later, I would finally
realize the truth.
By this time, the smell
has almost entirely dissipated, and I was left standing, wondering what had
happened�as I still do.
A little background
information/perspective: My office was a small room situated within a larger
room (the lab/classroom), all located within the science building, so there were
no doors or windows leading to the outside of the building. There was
absolutely nobody else in the building, except myself. The doors to my
class/lab were locked, so nobody, even if they had entered the building, could
have gotten within at least thirty feet of me, and would have been out in the
hallway, beyond the classroom walls. The ventilation system had not yet been
activated. Even if it had been activated and if someone had spilled
rose-smelling perfume in the next room, for example, I would not have been able
to smell it in my office. The ventilation system is a good one, and was
constructed in such a way that I could never smell the fumes from the adjoining
labs, even on days when they were conducting dissections that involved very
strong-smelling biological preservatives, fumes that were so powerful as to
require them to open their doors, during the dissections.
I have no idea as to
what caused the phenomenon which all three of us had witnessed, and I have no
guesses as to what it could have been or what significance, if any, it could
have had.
Any
associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the
experience?
No
Was
the kind of experience difficult to express in words?
No Not difficult to express, as it was not ineffable; however, it is
totally inexplicable via any logical paradigm.
At
the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening
event?
No
What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?
I
was meditating, so was very relaxed and in what would be called an "alpha
state," to use neurological terminology.
Was the experience dream like in any way?
No,
not at all. One moment I was sitting in a very relaxed frame of mind, and the
next I was startled into a sudden state of wide-eyed alertness by what I was
smelling. If it had been a dream, the smell would have gone away, upon
awakening, but, to the contrary, I was not asleep, and the smell was just as
strong after I had opened my eyes as it was, upon sitting with them closed;
indeed, it then completely filled the room.
Did
you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?
No
What emotions did you feel during the experience?
amazement, incredulity
Did
you hear any unusual sounds or noises?
No,
this anomalous experience was 100% olfactory-based.
LOCATION DESCRIPTION:
Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar
religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or
amazing creatures?
No
Did
you see a light?
No
Did
you meet or see any other beings?
No
Did
you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state?
No
Did
you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience
that could be verified later?
Yes I am answering "Yes," here, with the qualification that the term
"observe" is being used in a non-visual sense; i.e., I "observed" what I did by
smelling what I smelled, as did those who, likewise, smelled it.
Did
you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they
different?
Yes My senses were working normally, as were those of the two colleagues who
verified the entire bizarre incident.
Did
you have any sense of altered space or time?
No
Did
you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or
purpose?
No
Did
you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?
No
Did
you become aware of future events?
No
Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the
body?
No I never left my body, to begin with.
Did
you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience
that you did not have prior to the experience?
No
Did
you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
No
response Most definitely. This experience, although probably not
sounding too sensational to anyone else, was the most life-changing thing that
has ever happened to me. I say this because there was absolutely no possible
explanation for its occurrence other than admitting the existence of some sort
of paranormal influence. Admitting such a thing is not something that I would
have even considered, beforehand. My entire life has been one of mainstream
science. Anything that smacked of the paranormal would have been cause for me
to roll my eyes, smile, and think "ridiculous New Age stuff." This experience
was completely beyond any explanation, using standard scientific views. It was
verified by two other science teachers, who were asked to report if they
"noticed anything," without any further prompts as to what it was that I was
referring to. I still have no idea as to what it meant, but my attitude and
belief about the nature of the universe now includes the idea that there are
things which can be "paranormal," even though I might not know anything about
them.
How
has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices?
Career choices?
It
has made me open-minded, now, to just what might be real or possible. I no
longer am such a cynic, although I still remain skeptical about some of the more
ludicrous things which are often seen/heard, things that are normally the result
of those who seek gain/profit from their claims.
Has
your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Yes As stated in question #24's answer, it has--forced me--to acknowledge
the existence of a much greater reality than anything I would have considered
possible, beforehand. I now am certain that there is some kind of reality which
transcends that of the narrow, objective constraints found in mainstream
scientific rigor. I still don't know anything about that reality's nature, but
I now am certain of its existence. That may sound like a small step, but, for
me, it was a huge one.
Have you shared this experience with others?
Yes Some people shrug and try to explain it away, whereas others react with
surprise and amazement. I don't think that it really has influenced anyone,
except myself, because, as stated, it was not as sensational of an event as,
say, a near-death experience.
What emotions did you experience following your experience?
I
guess that I have to say that it has left me with a sense of the numinous, a
rather comforting feeling that there is more to this existence than what meets
the eye.
What was the best and worst part of your experience?
The
best part of the experience was the feeling mentioned in the last question. The
really was no bad part to it, only initial shock and disbelief as to what I was
experiencing...which was quickly verified by two separate people.
Is
there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?
I
would certainly like to know what it meant...if, indeed, it had any really
"meaning"/message. What was it all about, anyway? Have there been any others
who have experienced such a thing? (This last question is the main reason that
I am taking the time and trouble to fill in this questionnaire. I would love to
hear from any others who have had a similar experience)
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life,
medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
No
Did
the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively
describe your experience?
Yes You have constructed a well-thought, comprehensive questionnaire that
seems to cover all areas of relevancy.