Peter C's Experience
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Experience description:
This is a fairly big experience, and I'm not entirely sure where to start. I
suppose I'll give you some quick background knowledge on the events leading up
to it.
If
you could do a stranger such as myself a favor, I would like to ask of you one
thing: Try and forget all pre-conceived beliefs and ideas about how life is-
what's good and what's bad- etc. Try and have as open a mind as possible. After
you have read this experience, think of it as you will.
*SKIP TO THE STAR IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO READ THE INTRO AND KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT
ME*
So
this all kind of started when a girl developed feelings for me. I was
friends with her for a while, and she was an enchanting person. It was my first
real relationship, but it didn't work out. She played ego games with me
afterwards to try and make herself look good. I did nothing in return, as I
still had feelings for her. This destroyed me, as she tried to turn all my
friends against me, although it didn't work for her, it was still a hard time
for me. I turned very introspective, and tried my best to appreciate the
universe whilst disregarding the circumstances of my life.
Like any young, aspiring, and curious teenager, I eventually discovered
marijuana. It allowed me to coexist, to accept what is and to go with the flow.
It also made me feel good. It tickled a part of my mind that I had never tickled
before; all of it, really. My mind had been altered, and I was exploring a new,
uncharted realm of my own personal being.
Fascinated by this experience, I did plenty of research. I had to be careful,
venturing off into this dangerous, taboo part of life. I quickly learned that
there were many, many bad drugs. However, something seemed promising. These
drugs were the safest, they were the most powerful, and they changed lives. Many
who had took them were said to have changed- to have been enlightened- after
seeing the world differently. That is what I wanted; I wanted to be enlightened,
I wanted to truly be able to be happy. I didn't want to hide from my depression,
I wanted to accept it, I wanted to accept everything and to be happy.
Fast forward several months and these particular drugs miraculously crossed
paths with my life. I was anxious to try them, and decided to with my close
friend's garage. It was your standard stoner-hang-out-place, but it acted as a
safe haven for us to trip. It wasn't either of my friends first time, but it was
mine. I felt as if I had never been more ready for anything in my life, but I
also felt as though I had no idea what I was up against.
*A
few hours, here are the events that follow:
I
seemed to be reaching my peak, as everything was more beautiful than I had ever
seen. Fractals and seemingly sacred, almost hieroglyphic symbols were lining
everything. I saw a new spectrum of colors, and everything waved and morphed
around. It was if the entire universe was dancing just for me, and I was the
only one who could see it.
'Peter, come here'
I
looked over with wonder to see what amazing thing someone would want to show me.
My friend had a bowl of weed packed in his bong, and said I should toke it. I
was unsure if it would be a good idea to mix the two- but I knew it was still
safe, and chase insisted.
I
went over, and I took a massive hit, it was if I could inhale forever, but I
decided not to.
I
noticed time slowing down, or rather, my mind speeding up. I was aware of an
entire infinity between each point in time, and that's what I was nearing, and I
knew it. I knew everything was infinite, and I knew I was a part of it.
But wait, what am I?
Who am I to have this perspective on infinity?
My
life flashed before my eyes, everything was identical, even the time. I lived my
entire 17 year existence from birth until present moment. While I won't describe
the entirety of it, I eventually reached a very important point in my time.
It
was the point, where here I was, tripping in some random garage in some random
city on some random planet. The point where I forgot who I was, where I had to
remember my life.
My
life flashes before my eyes, I feel everything, I go back in time to the
beginning and live it again.
Then I get to the point where I forgot who I was, and I live my entire life
again.
I
was looping through my entire life and I couldn't get out of it. Something was
aware of this though, and it wasn't me. It was this thing in my mind, this,
consciousness, that was not my Ego.
Each time my life looped, it seemed to get faster and faster- even though time
was going at the same rate in my life, it was going by faster for this conscious
observer. It had already looped an infinite amount of times, and it kept getting
faster and faster, a sound was playing, and it kept getting louder, and louder,
and louder. It was a song so loud that could not be heard by the ears, but only
by the mind. As life flashed faster and faster, it turned into light, and the
consciousness shot away from that looping little ego.
Instantly, I expanded in every dimensional direction: I took up infinite space,
infinite time, infinite probability, and so forth. I was going through each
dimension, as if I was showing myself the truth about what I really was. I knew
that I, GOD, would return to Peter, for his life was unfinished, but he would
gain this incomprehensible knowledge nevertheless. I, God, would show this lost
little ego what it really was. It was everything, it was infinite. While I could
go on for days, years, centuries, all the way to infinities, about the nature of
infinity, dimensions (being Space, Time, Probability, etc- the things that
primarily make up that which is.) I won't do that just yet.
So
eventually, I was inevitably reaching the point of infinity. I knew what was
going to happen, but I wasn't aware of it. That is because at the point of
ABSOLUTE INFINITY, nothing happened.
Everything balanced, perfectly. Everything and it's opposite was contained
within this point, this point of pure, fundamental balance. All the love, all
the hate, all the good and all the evil, all the matter and anti-matter, time
and anti-time, (here's a fun one) space and anti-space (yeah..), EVERYTHING
possible and impossible was contained within this infinite, balanced point.
It
was balanced. +1 and -1 = 0.
It
was the only way to have nothing. This is what nothing was, nothing was
infinity, and infinity was nothing. It was a complete, never-ending,
never-beginning system.
I
eventually experienced how nothing can relatively become something, how it can
expand on it's potential in the most logical way- everything is the only thing
that can happen. Eventually, I returned to the form of Peter, after going
through the entirety of everything and looping back to where I was.
It
sure was trippy, and it's impossible to put the experience into words.
It
wasn't just out of body, it was out of reality, it was even out of infinity at
some points.
Thanks for reading this.
I was god- but god was everything, ranging from the
most evil of beings to the purest and most intellectual. He simply wanted to
experience and feel it all, and he did.
Not only was I aware of the future (and past), but
I was aware of the different probable timelines for how our universe could
unfold.
On top of that, I was aware of every single
universe and how it could unfold, as well as every multiverse, and so forth.
My career is undecided, however I know this: When
I'm older I want to be what I become.
With that being said, I'm not a huge fan of modern
society, I seek more than monetary wealth.
The best part was seeing what consciousness is and
what it can do.
I understand that they are very taboo in modern
society, but this was easily the most significant part of my life so far. On top
of that, I quit smoking after this experience, and changed to a MUCH MUCH MUCH
healthier lifestyle. Just because something is a drug, doesn't necessarily mean
it's bad.
I also want to add that I'm not supporting the use
of drugs. I do however support research and rational, responsible exploration of
the mind as well as the dissolution of the ego.
Any associated
medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?
Yes
Was the kind of experience difficult to express in
words?
Yes
It was not an experience that language was
designed to communicate. Language is a vast void, even if I were to perfectly
write the experience, you could have different personal meanings for each word
than I do. It's a matter of relativity, and this experience was purely personal
for the expansion of my perspective on reality.
At the time of this experience, was there an
associated life threatening event?
Yes I thought I
was poisoned, that I was going to die. I was nearly sure of it.
What was your level of consciousness and alertness
during the experience?
Infinite
Was the experience dream like in any way?
No, it was real- it made life look dream like. It made the
existence of Ego seem like nothing but an illusion of the mind.
Did you experience a separation of your
consciousness from your body?
Yes
Formless
What emotions did you feel during the experience?
All of them. Even the ones humans have yet to experience.
Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?
It's relative. I heard all the sounds, but to me it was not unusual, it was
perfect.
LOCATION DESCRIPTION: Did
you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious
teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing
creatures?
Yes
Location: Infinity.
Did you see a light?
Yes
I saw it all. Light (new colors, too), dark, different mediums for relative
comparisons found in other universes, multiverses, etc.
Did you meet or see any other beings?
Yes Not only did I
meet them, I was a part of them.
Did you experiment while out of the body or in
another, altered state?
Yes
Yes and no, I had no choice as to what happened, because everything happened.
Everything I wanted and didn't want. Everything had to balance.
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people
or events during your experience that could be verified later?
Yes
Yes, many recent scientific breakthroughs
I have been aware of- except for some of them, which I have no doubt will later
be either reiterated or disproved.
Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and
if so, how were they different?
Yes
I had way more than 5 sense, but
everything that consciousness can sense I sensed.
Did you have any sense of altered space or time?
Yes
Nothing was altered, but I had an infinite
sense for all applicable dimensions of existence.
Did you have a sense of knowing, special
knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
Yes
I was fully aware of infinity and
nothingness.
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical
structure?
Yes
Yes and no, I reached a boundary which can
never relatively be reached, however, I was irrelative and nothing at the point
that I reached the balance which is absolute infinity and absolute nothing.
Did you become aware of future events?
Yes
I did, but the difficult thing is I was
aware of every possible and impossible future event that could ever happen.
Were you involved in or aware of a decision
regarding your return to the body?
Uncertain
That part was foggy.. It was as if I was
going back through infinity and I got caught in my ego, which returned me to my
body.
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other
special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the
experience?
Uncertain It's
hard to describe, but it's as if I am always where I want to be.
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs
following the experience?
Yes
I love everything, because everything is
what I am.
How has the experience affected your
relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?
All
my relationships have gone up hill. I'm drastically more tolerable to people,
and I'm far more humble and coexisting.
Has your life changed specifically as a result of
your experience?
Yes
I can really figure out what's true. I'm
real with myself now.
Have you shared this experience with others?
Yes
Not necessarily the full experience. I've
only told a few- people who I can trust, or people who I feel should hear it.
Some people have cried, some people have gotten enlightened, some have heavily
bonded with me. Everyone believed me- it's a lot easier to describe in real life
when everything can just flow out of my mind.
What emotions did you experience following your
experience?
Nothing specific, but I was content- enlightened would be the
best way to describe it.
What was the best and worst part of your
experience?
Worst part was shedding my ego. It was by far the most
terrifying experience of my life.
Is there anything else you would like to add
concerning the experience?
I suppose what I want to add is I hope that the fact that this
was drug-induced doesn't change the fact that it was still a very real out of
body experience.
Following the experience, have you had any other
events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the
experience?
Yes
I've tried psychedelics some other times,
and have had similar results.
Did the questions asked and information you
provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?
Uncertain
Everything is a relative perspective. Some
may have the perception to understand my perspective, others may not.
Please offer any suggestions you
may have to improve this questionnaire.
I think it's
really solid! I love how dedicated you guys are to figuring out how incredible
and profound some OBEs can be!