It occurred when I was sleeping but this experience had nothing in common with sleeping.

I felt non local and omniscient. I didn't had my human body. My shape was something like an ellipsoid, but I think this shape was mentally constructed with my own cultural knowledge : what it imperfectly fits the best. It is not describable; you know that you are everything but there were too much information for my human spirit. While experiencing, the feeling was purely neutral, neither pleasant or unpleasant.

I was everything that could exist but at the same time I felt that the whole being was itself inside vacuity - non being. LIKE IF IS WAS TRYING TO EXTEND ITS LIMITS INTO THE NON BEING.

As the being, I felt I was inside a non being space.

THEN SOMETHING VERY DEEP happened : the whole being collapses inside itself; all the matter, all the memories - human memories; human loves; all our stories - went from their position in space to a very centered point then at that specific moment, everything had been erased and became nothingness. I lived what we could name the end of the times. I felt like this is going to happens one day. The universes will comeback to nothingness. I know have the feeling that the universe is immense but is contained inside a dot; I mean 'dimension' has no meaning, it just depends of your perspective.

The color of nothingness was seen as black but it is a construction; in nothingness, there are no color; my human mind needs to fill the void.

At the moment the whole creation collapsed, I directly woke up in trouble.

I said to myself 2 thing :

1. it is possible for me to become all the universe - but I don't know how.

2. It is so sad that one day everything will be erased but it is not because we won't be there to remember that there was something.

I had no 'teaching' from that experience or from a voice because it was absolutely neutral. I just make conclusions from what I saw, we call it : experience.

I have few questions, only available from a human point of view :

1. Does the creation created it self ? It's like everything has a cycle : day/night; life/death; breathe in/breathe out; being/non-being. I have the feeling that is it the case for everything, even for the being itself

2. Could we associate will of being with love ? I come to understand that will is the most important thing because it makes thing happened and create movement, change and energy.

3. Does the being contains its own syntax ?

4. If everything appears relative to the experiencer is there smoothing non relative ?

5. Is there determinism or free will ? As a human, determinism is absurd but we must face reality and not what we hope.

and then the strangest questions of all times :

6. When you choose something why do you choose it ? and why do you have this criterion when you choose it ? And where does it comes from ? You will see that in fact it appears that you have the feeling to choose, to exercise you free will but when you analyze it, it disappears.

I do things, I have first level reasons to do them - I go to the supermarket because I am hungry but why am I hungry; why do I go to this supermarket; why I chose this food and not the other one ? - but deep reasons appears to run ourselves.

We choose first level options but we don't choose 2nd;3rd;4th;n level options.

When you have an idea you can choose to follow it or not but in fact YOU WILL INVARIABLY FOLLOW AN IDEA; the spirit offers you a flow and you must pick something it offers you. In an extreme point of view free will could be to stop choosing. You decided to involve yourself in OBERFS because it seemed to you a noble cause but you didn't decide that this cause seems noble to you. I am very curious but I didn't choose to be : it is a fact and I must follow my curiosity. It is impossible to stop asking questions.

Then, Free will could be to say yes or no when facing options. But YOU MUST CHOOSE. You CAN'T NOT CHOOSE BECAUSE Saying NO is a decision; because doing nothing is the decision of doing nothing. In fact; our determinism is to choose - which is not free will. We don't have the choice to be or not ; you are if you want it or not. Then now; we could say : I can choose to maintain or not a determined decision I took. BUT you don't choose that tomorrow you spirit will bring you all the reasons to change your decision & then you will certainly change your mind.

It appears now; that our human essence is to observe the flow; we are experience beings on the boat of life. You probably feel free when you follow your own flow without fear; being opened and happy to everything that happens in your life.

In a theoretical point of view, it appears : FREE WILL ONLY BELONG TO THE INDIVIDUAL WHO KNOWS ALL CAUSES AND CIRCUMSTANCES. YOU CAN ONLY MAKE AN ABSOLUTE CONSCIOUS CHOICE WHEN YOU KNOW ALL PARAMETERS.

This could explain WHY we are learning from experience everyday; one day when we could know everything and be totally free. BUT THAT QUESTION REMAINS : When you know everything, why do you choose A and not B ? In fact, when you are everything; you don't choose; you simply are; you are BEING.

I don't pretend to be right ; the question of free will remains opened.

7. For the human spirit: Where does ideas & will come from ? This is the deep source of our choices because we always follow an idea that come to our spirits; finally and irresistibly you always follow an idea and if you do not you choose to do not; you follow the idea of not choosing.

Thank you for reading my French English.

If you, people of the world, have any questions or any desire to meet me to discuss about his; contact me via : romain.pela@gmail.com

DEAR READER, please remember a few things to make your life easier :

DON'T WORRY, EVERYTHING IS FINE, YOUR SOUL IS IMMORTAL.

DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO, NOBODY WILL JUDGE YOU, NOBODY JUDGE YOU : WHEN PEOPLE TELL YOU BAD THINGS THEY DON'T TALK TO YOU, THEY TALK TO THEMSELVES.

IF YOU WANT TO EXPERIENCE LOVE THEN YOU HAVE TO LOVEYOURSELF AS IT IS AT THE MOMENT, KNOWING THAT YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE YOUR STATE.

WHAT IT IS, IT IS ONLY WHAT YOU THINK IT IS. IF YOU WANT TO EXPERIENCE MORE, YOU NEED TO EXTEND YOUR VISION.

When you live with movement/variations if you see recurrences it creates the feeling of time.

If I place you in a white room with no windows; no noise; no watch, no biological body cycles - hunger; tiredness; sleep - then time does not exist.

In fact; humanity reduces its liberty by delimitating cycles and trough time measurement.

The human body is a self running processes that has an end - until we'll be able to create self regenerating cells - that's why we say our 'time' is limited.

We do things during those variations of the body.

There are no causes or effects : the cause is the effect & the effect contains the cause. Why ? because the human spirit says : if I gather A & B THEN C will exist. In fact, C already exist in potential. It is just a relation of the potential with its actualization in 'matter'. That's why; in fact, everything already exist.

It's fun because you feel nothing. When you feel nothing you have the choice to interpret it as pleasure or as pain.

I can say with no doubt that pain is a spiritual or physical feeling experienced when the present condition of the spirit or of the body IS OR IS NOT ALIGNED with its final cause.

I can just tell you that feeling are a construction of the human spirit according to values; I mean what is considered to be good or not. That could explain that if I consider violence and pain as something normal I could experience Hell in afterlife. If you are searching for love; you spirit will change your behavior according to this ' final cause '; if you search violence and pain you will probably try to enroll yourself in MMA.; if your search peace and serenity you will probably walk in the mountains. In fact; the end is contained in your will.

If you fail it's because you don't want enough or you do not have understand how to gather the conditions.

Procrastination, fear & self limitations are what defines you; they are the part of non being inside you. If you are everything you are indefinable.

humanity is 100% responsible of war, famine, pain & at the same time is not responsible because souls do not have the idea that make them understand that they are responsible.

Remains here the deep 'quarrel of determinism'. But as human being we must behave like if we were responsible & free because if not everybody would say ' Ok, if I am not free & Stop everything and stay seated until my death '.

Being lovely is a choice and often being violent is an unconscious choice that's why we must tell to people ' Hey; This is how it works : if you decide to be violent then the world is violent; if you decide to be lovely the world is lovely; if you decide to do not read you will not know the story. From a logical point of view : if you decide do actualize the potential A then A will exist in facts; if you do not A will remains virtual.

The human being can examine its deep habits & thoughts to move toward more liberty.

Everyone should take deep attention of their beliefs & should deconstruct their beliefs : always ask : what do I think about X and why ? How could I think X differently. They will then understand that they see the world according to their own expectations. I repeat it : If you think Harvard is the best school in the world then Harvard will be emotionally positively charged.

EVEN LOVE IS AN EXPECTATION; so we should always relay on logic : IF A then B If Love then ? If anger then ?

In my opinion; logic is the structure of the universe; it is its own language. At deeper level syntax is the result of the being in the non being. IF A THEN B. IF NOT A THEN NOT 'IF A THEN B '. Hazard can't exist : it is just the result of a lack of information.

When you think something then it exist in your mind ; when you tell people that A is a rule then people behave like if it is a rule. When the source says A is then A is and then human being see A in their daily experience we call it the first verb : RUAH/NEFESH.

1. What is the meaning of life ?

2. Do you think human possesses free will ?

3. Is there any link between your inner questions, pains or hope & your OBE/NDE experience.