Experience description:

For several minutes my parents tried to stop the fire with water and blankets, during the whole fire I was aware of what was happening. After putting out the fire I was brought to a hospital with third degree burns on my arms, neck and face.

During the first 5 days in the hospital the doctors were uncertain if I would survive and my parent were sitting near my bed.

I remember being in a calm, quiet, 'dark' and endless space, drifting and relaxing.

After 3 months I was sent home and went on with my life as far as possible, but I was longing for the quiet place.

2 to 3 nights a week when I was going to sleep I drifted of to that place and that were the only moments of the day I was happy.

This went on for years and when I was 17 years old life was to much and I had a suicide attempt, partly because my life was miserable and partly to go back to that quiet place.

Life went on and my drifting away was still going on, sometimes scaring my partner because he couldn't wake me and I did not react when he called me.

I was just lying down and in 5 to 10 minutes I drifted of, sometimes seeing my body laying on the bed from a great distance.

There were beings there who I remember 'talking' to without a word being spoken, they comforted me while I drifted in that endless space. It sometimes scared me a little because it felt endless, very different from any other feeling I've ever had.

My life was getting worse and at 28 I made another suicide attempt for the same reasons as before.

Finally after being in a psychiatric ward, and escaping there because there was no help at all just pills, when I was 31 years old I met an Hypnotherapist.

We went through the burning accident and after that there were sessions to dissolve other problems, when I spoke of my escape and drifting away we did sessions together.

During one of these sessions the therapist was scared and warned me that this quiet place was 'dangerous' for me because it had the possibility to really cut lose my ties with my body.

After going to that place together she showed me a 'cord' that was attached to my body and the deeper I went in the thinner that 'cord' became.

Earlier during visiting I had felt the possibility to go on and never return to that body in my bed.

She explained that this was my escape route but I shouldn't use it now because it was not time to go there, she suggested to block the possibility to leave my body.

She succeeded and until this day I miss the experience, the feeling of comfort and the 'communication', I now know that at the end of this learning on earth I will go back there.

Life became better and after a few years i decided to study Hypnotherapy myself, after 4 years I stopped because working with clients was to difficult for me.

My teachers formed 2 groups, was this what a real therapist could do or was it crossing boundaries.

During sessions I became one with the client, I saw and felt what the client was experiencing and most of the times I took over the clients pain and mental problems.

It became very difficult to get rid of the things I took with me and the lessons were a heavy load for me.

One day we took a regression session to go back to your moment of birth, at the moment I was born I heard my mother say 'Here we go again' and I was thinking the same.

Later that day I went to my mother and asked here about my birth and the things she could remember.

She told me that at the moment of my birth she thought 'Here we go again' and still couldn't understand why she said that.

Later on during my study I had reincarnation sessions and discovered that, in different forms, my mother and I met before and it has always to do with fire.

I don't know why but my feeling is we are solving something during our lives.

Later in life I lost my father, he died when sitting in my garden eating his favourite food.

A few days after his cremation he just walked from my garden through my living room while I was watching television.

He looked great and nodded when he saw me, I still have contact with him when I ask him for help during difficult periods in my life.

In these periods I also have contact with my 2 grandmothers whom I loved dearly.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   Yes  On august 13 1973 my mother tried to fill a lighter with methylated spirit when the bottle caught fire and exploded covering me in fire

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes     I don't talk much about these experiences because it's difficult to explain to others, it's mostly feelings.

Sometimes I made contact with my father while talking with my mother, still alive, so I could give her some answers to questions that she has

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?      Different moments but especially when in that quiet place

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal   It's difficult to explain, there's no limit as with talking a language and I can 'feel' everything around me like the endless space I'm in

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   Difficult to explain because it's very different to seeing with eyes, I'm just everywhere at the same moment

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   Again very difficult, because there are no words. I just know...

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   Yes   I saw myself lying in bed, my partner next to me and sometimes talking or shaking my body

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   Relief  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   Uncertain   I was going through something to get to the quiet place, but I'm not certain what it was

Did you see an unearthly light?   Yes   I wouldn't call it light, the place is dark but I can see forms and lights but not with my eyes

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   I heard a voice I could not identify
There were 2 beings who communicated with me, no voice, no body but they were just there

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   No  

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   Yes   During reincarnation therapy my mother.

I saw my father and 'talk' with him and my 2 grandmothers

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   No  

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   Some unfamiliar and strange place
An endless space, dark but also light with some floating lights and the possibility for communicating without normal speech

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual
Slow, I could not tell how much time I was there. Sometimes my clock told me only 5 or 10 minutes others times much longer

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   No


Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   Uncertain
From my bed to the quiet place I crossed something

Did you come to a border or point of no return?   I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life
I choose to go back but sometimes I doubted

Did scenes from the future come to you?  No 


During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   Yes   It felt like finally being where I belonged, later during reincarnation sessions I discovered gaps between my lives.

The feeling in these gaps is exactly the same as during my experiences, for me these gaps feel like the moment to choose where I will be born the next time. I also think I can choose my parents and the moment when I get into my new body

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   Uncertain   For me no God but the realization that we are, all together, one being and that we create what we need

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   Uncertain   I had session where I discovered different lives, but surrounded by people that I know. I still ask myself what's true and what's not

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   I felt we all are one but it's difficult for me to say specific things, so much is just 'a knowing' that there suddenly is. But where it came from, I really don't know

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?   Uncertain   It feels like a choice I make to come back, choosing the circumstances

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   Yes   I have the feeling that I can be at 2, or more, places at one time. I don't understand how I sometimes know things about a city or street that I've never been before. I learned to listen to my 'feelings' about things, like 'Don't do this... ' or a sudden anxiety just before something happens and afterwards thinking 'I did know that would happen'

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   No  

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience   Never thought about these things until it happened and confused me for years about what happened, not scared but ashamed about myself, thinking I've made it all up

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience   I never loose the feeling I have about this quiet place, it's always in the back of my head.  

My experience directly resulted in:   No changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?   Uncertain   I live the best that I can and always see the best in people, as someone said to me 'You believe people until they put a knife in your back'

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   Uncertain   Contact with people who died, feelings I get from people, it'sometimes difficult to be in the presence of other people. Feeling sadness or pain from other people and trying to avoid birthdays because of all the feelings I get

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?     I think I wrote everything and getting very tired because of thinking how to write things down so other people can understand what I'm meaning

Have you ever shared this experience with others?   Yes  20 years before sharing it with others, difficult and people think I'm strange when I talk about these things

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   No  

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was probably real   Didn't believe things, tried to forget them

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was probably real   Difficult, but I think parts of it must be true because I can't explain them and I know they happened to me. For me it all feels so real and it still feels like I have a connection with something I can't explain. Sometimes I hear other people talk about things that I've also experienced, but I won't take part in such conversations because it's difficult for me. I've also watched a few 'mediums' on television and turn them off because the things they say are not true or feel for me like guessing

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   No  

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   No  

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   Uncertain   I don't know what to write here because for me it was not one experience but several in the past years

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?   No, I'm very tired trying to write this all down and it's emotional for me to do this. I spent almost a whole evening answering these questions while it's difficult to put them in words when it's so much based on feelings that I get

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   Yes   I answered the questions, trying to explain in words what for me is knowing and feeling