Paul F's Experience
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Experience description:
Combat
medics, like infantryman, form an emotional 'shield' around themselves to
protect from the emotional aspects of combat. As a combat medic, it was often
necessary, for the patient's sake, to maintain a facial posture of control while
witnessing their extreme injuries which would often include missing legs and
arms, usually leaving them messily in shreds, not clean amputations. It is also
necessary to apply emergency medical treatment quickly so a small frustration
that over time built up in me was my wish to be able to take the time to see
these injuries more closely and with more time spent observing the extent of the
injuries, largely because my limited military training had not given me much
time seeing internal organs, bones, etc. before going to Vietnam and since the
injuries were generally extreme, I could not take the time to be medically
curious when patching patients and applying combat dressings. One day,
after picking up wounded soldiers from the jungle and while our dustoff
helicopter was rushing patients to 85th Evac Hospital, Phu Bai and I was busy as
usual, in the back, wrapping messy stumps and starting IV's on severely wounded
soldiers, it occurred to me to cause myself to have an OBE so I could take a
step back and see the injuries without having to rush. In this
way, I thought, I could take more time to see what bones, tissue, etc. look like
instead of having to put the large military dressings on the injuries so quickly
that I never seem to get a long enough look at the injury. Next thing
I know, I am kneeling behind myself, watching myself apply combat dressings,
etc. to the wounded infantry who were lying on the cargo floor of the
helicopter! I gave it
a short thought that it was strange an odd wish had happened to come true but I
decided to take advantage of the situation and not think about it but instead to
do what I had wanted to do- take a longer look at the injuries of these guys and
being able to stare harder at the tissue and bones that were exposed by these
injuries. I looked
over at my crew chief but he was mostly looking away, out the door of his side
of the bird which was normal so although I was hoping to see either a reaction
or no reaction, he was turned away and did not happen to be looking in my
direction while I was experiencing either of these OBE's. After a
few moments or perhaps a few minutes, I began to feel very unhappy that these
guys were in such bad shape, all for politics. Keeping those emotional shields
up keeps you from remembering or realizing just how badly things can get out of
hand so seeing these guys so badly wounded was like a splash of cold water in
the face, reminding me of what I knew I was putting aside but morally should
have objected to at some point. (But soldiers don't object, they follow orders)
As I felt
more and more emotionally unhappy, I began to feel nauseous, then the inside of
the bird began to darken, I started seeing pin points of light and I began
feeling as though I was being pulled into a dark vortex or funnel. The nausea
continued and I realized, the first time I was experiencing this OBE, that the
emotional impact of what I was seeing was beyond me and that I needed to get a
grip or I would pass out. So I told
myself to end the OBE and return to my own body and continue as normal. The next
thing I knew, I was kneeling over a patient, treating him and all was normal
again. While
treating him, I made a note to myself not to try this OBE again since it was
clear I could not handle having my personal guard down. However,
about two weeks later while we were flying wounded soldiers to the hospital, I
decided to try it again, reminding myself not to fall into an emotional despair
this time and just remain neutral, taking the opportunity to observe and having
the apparent time to do so during this OBE. Next thing
I know, I am in the exact same position- kneeling behind myself, watching myself
apply combat bandages, etc. I remember that although I watched for a few
moments/minutes (I could not tell and do not remember; best I can suggest was
that the experience both times probably did not exceed a minute or two at the
most), I started getting dizzy again, the bird was getting dark again, I began
again feeling as though I was being pulled into a dark swirling funnel, the
white pinpoints of light and the feeling I was getting ready to pass out were
all happening again so I decided that I was obviously not capable of not
reacting to what I was seeing so I decided to end the OBE and return to my
body. It
happened just that fast, back in my body, treating wounded soldiers and I did
not try this again after that or since. In both
cases, following the end of these OBE's, I was pretty much back to normal in
that my vision, breathing, etc. were pretty much all back to normal. I did not
have to 'shake it out' or work to recover from these OBE's...
Any associated medications
or substances with the potential to affect the experience?
No
Was the kind of experience
difficult to express in words?
No
At the time of this
experience, was there an associated life threatening event?
No
What was your level of
consciousness and alertness during the experience?
Fully Alert
Was the
experience dream like in any way?
not really. everything about me,
the patients and the helicopter were exactly normal.
Did you experience a
separation of your consciousness from your body?
Yes I was just where I wanted
to be, crouching behind myself as my body continued to treat combat patients. I
was looking over my own shoulder!
What emotions did you feel
during the experience?
Surprised briefly that my desire
to have this OBE happened so quickly but I then focused on observing myself and
the patients as was my original intent. I just accepted that it was happening
although I did not understand how it could be happening at all.
Did you hear any unusual
sounds or noises?
none, the noisy inside of the helicopter with the doors open and me wearing my
flight helmet was normal.
LOCATION DESCRIPTION:
Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar
religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or
amazing creatures?
No
Did you see a light?
No
Did you meet or see any other
beings? No
Did you experiment while out
of the body or in another, altered state?
No
Did you observe or hear
anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be
verified later?
No I noticed my crew chief, who sits on the other side of the bird did not
seem to notice my kneeling behind myself. I did not see though that he looked my
way since he was mostly looking outside, watching for other helicopters, etc.
Did you notice how your 5
senses were working, and if so, how were they different?
Yes Everything was the same.
Did you have any sense of
altered space or time?
No
Did you have a sense of
knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
No
Did you reach a boundary or
limiting physical structure?
No
Did you become aware of future
events? No
Were you involved in or aware
of a decision regarding your return to the body?
Yes After seeing the combat
damage to the patients more fully, not being in a hurry by having to treat the
patients, I both times began to have a nauseous feeling, I felt as though the
inside of the bird was getting dark, I began to see small pin points of light
and began feeling as though I was being pulled into a funnel or vortex of
negative emotions relating to the extreme injuries I was more leisurely
observing. Both times I realized I was getting ready to pass out so I told
myself to return to normal since it was obvious I could not handle the situation
without the emotional shields we in combat deliberately wear to protect
ourselves from the horrors of war. The next I knew, I was back in my body,
treating patients and although I gave the event a short thought, I dropped it
from my thinking and went back to my job. I did not mention the OBE either time
to anyone as I felt sure no one would believe me and that it would just cause
ridicule.
Did you have any psychic,
paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have
prior to the experience?
No
Did you have any changes of
attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
No
How has the experience
affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career
choices? none
Has your life changed
specifically as a result of your experience?
No
Have you shared this
experience with others?
Yes mostly casual disbelief...
What emotions did you
experience following your experience?
none, I put the event aside and
did not think about it again until years later when I realized what a strange
thing had happened!
What was the best and worst
part of your experience?
The best was that when I had the
thought of having an OBE to be able to 'take a step back' and watch myself
applying emergency medical care from a step back, it worked and I had the
experience even though I would never normally have ever thought it possible. If
I were hearing about this from someone else I would have a hard time believing
them.
Is
there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?
no, just
that I think that it is strange that both OBE's happened without my giving it
any thought in advance and being generally of the mindset at the time of being
too black and white in my thinking to even believe having an OBE possible. That
I decided to have one and did and then decided to have another two weeks later
and I did is pretty strange.
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life,
medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
No
Did
the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively
describe your experience?
Yes