Nicola E Friend's Experience
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Experience description:
My friend and I met as
school teachers at the same school, several years ago. She was pregnant when we
met, and she chose me to be present at the birth of her child, because she was a
single mother and afraid of being alone. It was a tremendous honor to be
invited into the delivery room because, even though I have children of my own,
it was a fascinating opportunity to see a birth without experiencing the pain
myself!
My friend delivered a
baby boy named Michael, and it was an incredible experience. I joked to her
that I saw her son before she did! (I saw his head poking out before he was born
and she didn't have a mirror to see for herself!)
Tragically, my friend
passed away suddenly, just months after her son was born. He has been raised by
her parents ever since. The boy now goes to the school where his mother and I
taught, and this year he is in my 4th Grade class. It is with a heavy heart
that I teach him each day. I have never told him that I was there for his birth
because I didn't want the other students to think that he had special treatment,
and I didn't want to upset him with thoughts of his mother. Perhaps his
grandparents told him that I was there, but I'm not sure. He does know,
however, that his mom and I were friends. (This makes sense because he knows
that she used to teach at our school.)
Flash forward to last
week, 9 and a half years after his birth and his mother's passing.
I was speaking with my
class about our memories, for a poetry writing assignment. I asked them to
think back to the earliest memories they have. Most students talked about
Kindergarten, or perhaps day care, or vague memories of old toys, etc from when
they were about 3-4 years old.
Michael put up his
hand and said that he remembers watching everyone from up in the sky, and being
in his mother's belly before he was born. He said that when he was waiting to
be born, he was invisible and he was in my GREY car with me on the way to the
hospital while I listened to the song "Winter Spring Summer or Fall." (This is
what he called the song. He likely doesn't know the real name, and he
probably hasn't heard it since ... but it was "You've Got a Friend" by James
Taylor. I used to have the cassette tape in that car!!!)� This is bizarre
because I did drive a grey car at that time and I haven't had once for the past
7 years (2 years after he was born). I can't imagine he even knows that song
from today's radio music. My heart started to beat like crazy. How the heck
would he know that? Even his grandparents wouldn't know that and his mom
wouldn't have known that before she died. Even if somehow she did, he was only
three months old when she passed. How would she tell him? I certainly never
told her what song was on in my car on the way to the hospital so I can't
explain this!
Michael said that he
remembers me stopping for gas and asking the attendant for directions to the
hospital (TRUE). He said that he wanted me for his mommy because he liked my
voice when I was speaking to the attendant. ( I did stop for gas and I was kind
of lost going to a rural hospital, so I asked for directions). Then he said
that he remembers that the parking lot was partially closed for construction, so
I had to park on a corner and run to the hospital. By this point my jaw was
almost on the floor and the whole class was starting at me. I had never even
told the class (or Michael) that I was at his birth. The class must have
thought this was one crazy story.
Then Michael said the
most incredible thing - He said that while his "real mom" was in labor, he asked
God if I could be his mom because he knew that his "real mom" wouldn't survive
very long, and he was afraid of being alone on Earth. Apparently he was told
that he couldn't have me for his "real mom" but that everything would be OK and
he would still get to be around me during his life.
Michael said that he
kept begging for me to be his mother. He watched me go down the hallway from
the birthing suite to the waiting lounge to make a phone call from a pay phone
(true -- there was no cell signal in the hospital), and that while I was there I
was very cold so I put on a sweater that someone else left on the waiting room
chairs. By this point the hairs on the back of my neck were standing up. I
hate to admit this, but I did find a nice warm cardigan in that waiting room and
I put it on because I was so cold. I've never done anything like that before,
but it was a small hospital and there were literally no other people in the
labor ward and I waited to see if anyone would come to claim the sweater, and no
one did. I was so cold! I put it on and ended up wearing it home (Shame on me,
I know, I still feel guilty about that. I've felt so guilty that I never
wore it again, especially because it reminds me of my friend who ended up
passing away. Regardless, I have to mention it because I've never told anyone
about taking someone else's sweater, and it's a huge part of this story!!!!
Michael concluded by
saying that he watched me make the phone call and put on the other person's
sweater, and that's the last thing he remembers. He was born about thirty
minutes after I went to the lounge and made that phone call.
Later, I privately said
to Michael, "Yes, I was at your birth. How did you know all of that stuff?"
His grandparents weren't at the birth and there was literally no way he would
have known any of that. How could he make it up? He said that it's easy, he
just had to think back to his earliest memories. He asked me why I don't
remember being born, too and he said "It's OK, my life did turn out OK.. so
don't worry about not being my mom".
WOW.
I write this in all
sincerity as my evidence that there must be some kind of heaven up there, if he
could have memories of watching his birth and waiting to be born. I considered
the idea that his mom speaks to him from the afterlife, and maybe she told him
herself but how would she even know this information?
Was the experience
difficult to express in words?
No
Did you hear the
deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?
Uncertain
Describe what you
heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:
I
don't know if his mother in heaven helped him to know this information, or if he
was really "aware" prior to birth.
Did you feel a touch
or experience any physical contact from the deceased?
No
Did you see the
deceased?
No
Did you smell a
distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?
No
Could you sense the
emotions or mood of the deceased?
No
Was the experience
witnessed or experienced by others?
Yes