Nancy L's Experience
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Experience description:
Have you heard the saying, 'Life is what happens while you are busy making
other plans.'? Well, at thirty-two I was losing weight and had terrible
abdominal pain each time I ate, until just the smell of food could cause me to
cramp up. So off to a gastroenterologist I went. That day, October 1, 1967, I
landed in St. Joseph Hospital in Milwaukee. All the testing of my
gastrointestinal track perforated my small intestines and now I had peritonitis
all the way to the acute stage; death knocking at my door. So at night I was
taken into surgery where I lost the last ten inches of my small bowel and the
cecum of my large bowel. I woke up in the intensive care which was new in St.
Joe�s; heart patients and major surgical patients in the same unit. Just a small
sheet pulled between beds separated the patients. I had high fevers bad enough
to put me into ice water�ouch that�s cold! But I liked it because my thoughts
and words were lining up in place again. Days went by like this, and I have no
knowledge of how many. But I could feel whatever kept me alive was leaving me
and I knew I would have to tell my husband to try to raise the kids without me.
He came that day to spend his five minutes at a time with me and said, �Please
Nancy�you have to try harder. We won�t make it without you!� I was instantly
angry. He was thinking about himself and not about me. I was in a tough spot; a
disabled husband and four children. My thoughts went to my Elizabeth, only three
years old. She represented all four of the children because she was so young.
I decided to gather whatever energy I had left to say a prayer. 'Lord, I always
believed in You. How come you haven�t come to help me yet? If you don�t come
soon, I won�t make it.' Then I just laid there waiting to die. Just seconds
later, I felt myself come out of my body and was looking down at myself.
Then I was out of there, going down a semi-dark tunnel, with doors on the
right side every so often. First thought��Oh how wonderful to know that my soul
exists! But to know this I must be dead. I can think, hear, talk to myself, and
I don�t have a body!� Then I got really frightened. Where was I going and what
was going to happen to me next? Then it happened! In the tunnel, a light I saw
in the distance suddenly was right in front of me. It said, 'Nancy, do you want
to come with me?� The love that came with that light was the most overwhelming
experience of my young life. All anger, fear, anxiety, hopelessness was taken
over by a love I have never been able to describe. Past all comprehension, I
felt it take over me so I said �If you come any closer I will have to go with
you. I need to think this over.' The light then gave me the time and space to
make a decision. I heard the sounds of a choir and the harmony was so perfect it
seemed almost past all harmony. Beautiful! Then I saw my father, Joseph, pacing
back and forth all excited! I couldn�t make out his facial details as though I
was seeing him through a veil. He had been dead for six years.
A most faithful man to my mother and his children as I had ever known. A
very loved man and I still missed him. The anger I still housed was something I
had not dealt with since he died from a slow, painful battle with prostate
cancer. Why would God allow this to
happen to so good a person; a man who didn�t complain much and a faithful
Catholic in practice as well as belief. I had never dealt with this either. But
there he was and I knew who had him. By this time I figured it out. I was
talking to something divine in a zone of no time, no distance.
So I told the light I had to go back. I had made a vow in my marriage and they
needed me. I didn�t want to go back but it was the right thing to do. Now the
light was listening and said, 'If you are going to go back, in order to get well
you must sleep in my peace.' Okay! I
thought, 'Sleep heals so I�ll do that.' I turned to Dad and told him it was okay
now, that I would just see him later. He nodded. Then I turned to the light and
asked, 'What should I tell people about you when I go back? They all fight about
you�they disagree and argue about you.' His reply was in absolute authority. 'I
am over all the churches. It is not to be your concern.' Then�zip�back I was in
my body, feeling my fingers and thinking, Did this really happen? The peace from
the tunnel came back with me. No anger�just the love of my light still there.
Well, I thought, time to take a nap. Now, in that sleep, my vital signs turned
from dying to recovery.
At the time
of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?
Yes
I underwent surgery for Crohn's disease
after suffering a perforated intestines and acute peritonitis
Was the experience
difficult to express in words?
Yes
How can I explain love that took away
fear? There are no words to explain
the love that surrounded me. It took
away all anxiety, fear, especially the fear of death.
At what time during the
experience were you at your highest level of
consciousness and alertness? After I said a
prayer to the Lord asking for help, I told Him I always believed in Him and
asked how come He hadn't come to help me. If He didn't come soon I knew I would
not survive much longer. This was about 3 or 4 days, maybe more, after surgery.
I felt myself dying for some hours before I said that prayer, knowing whatever
was keeping me alive was leaving me from the inside out. As soon as I came out
of my body, my state of consciousness became acute. It stayed this way
throughout the experience.
How did your highest level
of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal
everyday consciousness and alertness?
More
consciousness and alertness than normal
It became much more acute.
I was aware of everything.
Please
compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had
immediately prior to the time of the experience.
It was the same.
Please
compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had
immediately prior to the time of the experience.
It was the same.
Did you see
or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your
consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?
Yes
After I left my body, I was up at the
ceiling looking down momentarily. I
saw myself lying in bed, hooked up to the IV, drainage tubes, and oxygen. I did
not see the people that were in the room.
My first thought was 'My soul is real!
I am not in my body anymore.
I must be dead'. Very quickly I entered a tunnel.
What emotions did you feel
during the experience?
Initially I felt fear, in realizing I was probably
dead. Then excitement, in knowing
that my soul existed, that life after death is true. The fear left when I
entered the Light. This is when I
felt peace.
Did you pass into or
through a tunnel?
Yes
Shortly after leaving my body, I entered a
semi-dark tunnel that had doors on the right.
I was afraid to open any of them, unsure of what I might find. I moved
through at a moderate pace, not under my own power.
After I passed the doors, I saw a light in the distance.
This light then seemed to come to me, surrounding me with a love I can't
describe in words. I then heard God
speak to me.
Did you see an unearthly
light?
Yes
At the end of the tunnel a brilliant light
surrounded me, filling me with an indescribable feeling of love.
Did
you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable
voice?
I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly
origin
Out of the light came a voice I understood to be
divine, asking me 'Nancy, do you want to come with me?'
I said, 'If you come any closer, I will have to go with you.
I would like to think it over.'
Did you encounter or
become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by
name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?
No
Did
you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?
Yes
I saw my father off on the right, waiting
for me to finish talking to the light.
Did
you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?
No
Did
you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?
Some unfamiliar and strange place
Only that there was no
time or distance in this place.
Did time seem
to speed up or slow down?
Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or
lost all meaning
There was no time and
no distance. I was in a different
dimension.
Did
you suddenly seem to understand everything?
Everything about the universe
I understood that I was being myself in another
dimension. I understood that If I
chose to go with the Light, I would understand everything about the universe.
Did you reach a boundary
or limiting physical structure?
Yes
The Light was one boundary.
I could not proceed further until I chose to go with the Light or not.
Another boundary was a sort of veil in front of my father, preventing us
from being together.
Did
you come to a border or point of no return?
I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life
The Light asked me to chose to come with him or
return to life. I decided to go back
because my husband and children needed me.
My husband told me shortly before I left my body that I needed to try
harder, that they would not make it without me.
I asked the Light a question, 'People fight over you. What do I tell them
about you if I go back?' He said, 'I
am over all the churches. It is not
to be your concern.' Then He told me
that to get well, I had to 'sleep in His peace.'
That made sense to me, because I knew that sleep heals.
I said goodbye to my father at that time, and he nodded to me in
understanding. I had an
understanding at that time of how much my father loved me.
Did scenes from the
future come to you?
No
During
your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly
life (�life after death�)?
Yes
Yes, I immediately realized there was life
after death when I left my body.
During
your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God
or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?
Yes
God spoke to me.
The love and peace of the Light was very obviously a divine presence, and
worth living and dying for. I knew
that this love is for everybody, not just some people.
I felt very humble, but valued.
During
your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you
either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?
Yes
I had an awareness that I was still me
after I left my body, and there was no other me than this one.
During
your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a
mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?
Yes
During your experience,
did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life�s
meaning or purpose?
Yes
I knew that He would help me through
life's hardships if I asked Him.
During your experience,
did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life�s
difficulties, challenges, or hardships?
Yes
I knew that He would help me through life's hardships if I asked Him.
During your experience,
did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?
Yes
I knew that God's love is for everybody.
During your experience,
did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not
shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?
No
Did you have a sense of
knowing special knowledge or purpose?
Yes
I knew I had to go back and look after my
family.
What occurred during your
experience included:
Content that was both consistent and not consistent
with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
I was taught that life existed after death, but I had no clue that it was
like this.
How accurately do you
remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around
the time of the experience?
I remember the experience more accurately than
other life events that occurred around the time of th
I remember this experience very vividly, in detail, even today after 48
years.
Discuss any changes
that might have occurred in your life after your experience:
I began reading the Bible intensely after my
experience to see if I was crazy or not.
I discovered that everything about the Light experience was in the Bible.
I understood the Bible in the profound. I began teaching
religious education, and eventually Bible studies.
I was able to accept the difficulties that came in my life, and did not
walk away from them.
My
experience directly resulted in:
Large changes in my life
Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that
occurred as a result of the experience?
Yes
My beliefs were heightened, because i know that I KNOW.
Do you
have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that
you did not have before the experience?
Yes
My prayer life is heightened, because I
know who I am talking to when I pray.
My prayers are answered now much more than they are not.
I pray with and for people, and the prayers are answered.
People come to me all the time and ask for my prayers, because they tell
me I have a special connection to God.
Are there one or several parts of your experience
that are especially meaningful or significant to you?
I never mourned my father after this experience, because I know Who has
him, and that I will see him again.
Have you ever shared this experience with others?
Yes
I talked to the doctor about it in the
hospital after I was released from ICU.
He told me not to pay attention to it, that funny things happen to people
in ICU. I told my sister and brother
about the same time. My brother told
me I was not known to hallucinate, and time would tell me the meaning of it.
He believed in my experience.
My sister told me to read the Book of Job.
I understood Job in the profound. It was very reassuring to me.
Did you have any knowledge
of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?
No
What did you believe about
the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:
Experience was definitely real
I knew it was real, because I just knew!
It was life changing and comforting.
All of my anxieties about my illness went away.
I made a miraculous recovery after returning.
What do you believe about
the reality of your experience at the current time:
Experience was definitely real
I feel the same way about the experience.
It was definitely real.
Have your relationships
changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Yes
I view troublesome people as people in trouble, who
have a need. I am not as judgmental
as I once was. I do not condemn people, only actions that take them away from
God.
Have your religious
beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Yes
I started reading the Bible. I
had an incredible growth in my spiritual side.
At
any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?
No
Did
the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and
comprehensively describe your experience?
Yes