Molly R's Experience
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Experience description:
I'm
sharing this, even though I was not near death at the time it happened, because
what I experienced has so much in common, in terms of timelessness,
communication method (without word), permeation of feeling of total love, and
simultaneous-ness of thoughts with other people's Near Death Experiences.
My
experience happened when I was about 6 years old.
For
background let me say that I always felt a bit homesick all my life. I have
always felt like this world is not where I belong, everything is foreign and I'm
not "from here".
I
have prayed as long as I can remember and have felt close to God, my Heavenly
Father. The thought troubled me though, that when I prayed there were lots of
other people praying and how could God hear me among all those prayers. I was
very young and Heavenly Father was very real to me.
One
day I was outside playing in my back yard right underneath the North West window
of my back corner bedroom when I was thinking about Heavenly Father. I don't
remember why, but as I was thinking the thought occurred to me "I wonder if He
is bald." My earthly father was mostly bald, I think that is why that thought
came to me. Immediately upon thinking that thought I felt bad about wondering
that (I'm extremely prone to guilt feelings) and I suddenly looked up and just
called out from my soul with a message that had no words, but basically I was
saying "I'm sorry (for the thought)...I miss you SO much, I want to come home!!"
I think my eyes must have been shut because I wasn't really seeing the sky. I
was just purely feeling. I hadn't even been able to complete the thought and
expression of my feelings when, again simultaneously I received a returning
thought full of feeling and love. I will give the thought a description and
order, but again, there was none. It happened all at once and without actual
words. The answer was "I miss you every bit as much as you miss me and long for
you to come home, and I feel that way about every one of my children."
I
just stood there with my head tilted upwards feeling that thought come to me. I
knew it was Heavenly Father and I was amazed that He'd given me that
experience.
I
didn't tell anyone for many years. I first started telling it to groups of
young women I was in charge of teaching at church, then to adults. I haven't
told it a lot, just when appropriate and to go along with an important point.
Once my Mom was present when I shared this experience. She later told meth at
she remembered that day. I was very surprised and I asked her how. She said
that as I was coming in the back door to our house from playing outside one day
I said to her as I passed something to the effect of "I want to go home." she
said she was afraid for a while after that that I might die because she
immediately knew what I meant (plus the fact that I was walking into my own home
at the time). She has since passed on so I can't ask her exactly what I said,
but she remembered day and what she heard from me for about 40 years before she
made the connection upon hearing me talk about that day to others.
I
have relied on that experience my whole life to feel loved when I know I'm quite
unlovable and to respect each person I meet as precious, beloved, and a greatly
valued child of God.
It
has helped me in countless ways and kept me in a place where I can receive
blessings and avoid misery throughout my life. I am much less likely to judge
people and much more likely to see the good in people than I would have been
without this experience.
I
have not lost my feeling of homesickness, nor my feeling of not belonging to
this world. I'm grateful to be able to live here though and learn what I need
to and fulfill my missions and promises by serving others...still though....I
can't wait to get home and I think about it all the time.
I
have to also say that in general my memory is, and always has been bad, but this
memory, nor the feelings I felt, have ever faded or changed. I can still feel
myself standing in exactly that spot - the way I was facing, my pose and
posture, where the sun was in the sky, what I was looking at when I first had
the silly thought that started it all... everything.
I
believe that the reason I was given this experience was two-fold. One, I
believe my Father had compassion on me because I was so believing and so worried
that he didn't know about me (among all his children) and that day particularly
I was sad to think I may have offended him (by wondering if he was bald). It
was all so sweet and childish and, like any parent, He desired to comfort me.
I
also believe He knew that I would reflect on and rely on that experience in
tough times throughout my life. He knew I was guilt prone and homesick and
would tend toward despair and negative feelings a lot in my life and He wanted
to provide one real expression of His unconditional Love to sustain me in those
times.
I
can truthfully, and with the conviction of sure knowledge testify to all out
there that they are loved deeply, unconditionally, and eternally and are held as
precious and unique and needed by their loving Father in Heaven. While we are
away from Him during this important time He is ever present in our lives and he
is powerful, perfect, and loving. Please know this and never doubt.
It
has helped me in countless ways and kept me in a place where I can receive
blessings and avoid misery throughout my life. I am much less likely to judge
people and much more likely to see the good in people than I would have been
without this experience.
At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?
No
Was
the experience difficult to express in words?
Yes It was pure communication without words and so using words puts
limitations on expression and the words chosen have connotations that leave the
whole thing open to interpretation and assumptions.
At
what time during the experience were you at your highest level of
consciousness and alertness?
It happened quickly so the entire time...
How
did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience
compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?
More
consciousness and alertness than normal I was completely focused with not one
other distraction or awareness of anything at all. It was as if I was entirely
made up of, and swallowed up in, the communication that was happening.
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that
you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.
I
wasn't seeing anything, just feeling the communication.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that
you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.
I
wasn't hearing anything. The communication came without sound.
Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that
your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?
No
Once my Mom was present when I shared this experience. She later told meth at
she remembered that day. I was very surprised and I asked her how. She said
that as I was coming in the back door to our house from playing outside one day
I said to her as I passed something to the effect of "I want to go home." she
said she was afraid for a while after that that I might die because she
immediately knew what I meant (plus the fact that I was walking into my own home
at the time). She has since passed on so I can't ask her exactly what I said,
but she remembered day and what she heard from me for about 40 years before she
made the connection upon hearing me talk about that day to others.
What emotions did you feel during the experience?
Love
Did
you pass into or through a tunnel?
No
Did
you see an unearthly light?
No
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an
unidentifiable voice?
No
Did
you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who
are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha,
etc.)?
Yes God was communicating with me. I knew it was Him.
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?
No
Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?
No
I knew I lived with God before birth as much as I knew anything. That was more
real than current life, but I did not have a life review of earth life or
remember specifics of pre-mortal life.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?
No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down?
No
I
was completely obtaining the communication and really only had feelings about it
after I processed it. I knew I was loved and longed for, but that feeling
wasn't overwhelming as it would have distracted from the communication and me
knowing that was paramount to me feeling all the Love coming at me at once. I
retain the knowledge as sure and unquestionable.
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?
No
I understood the communication intended for me in utter completeness.
Did
you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?
No
Did you come to a border or point of no return?
No
Did
scenes from the future come to you?
No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly
life (�life after death�)?
Yes It was express in the nature of what the subject being communicated was -
it was an understood fact between us.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?
Yes He was communicating with me. I knew it was Him.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?
Yes I was more aware of that fact than most people as I was constantly plagued
with a feeling of "homesickness".
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not)
exist?
Yes I learned that God longs for all His children to be with Him. We are One
With Him.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
regarding earthly life�s meaning or purpose?
Yes A feeling of their necessity and temporary-ness.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
regarding earthly life�s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?
Yes A feeling of their necessity and temporary-ness.
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
regarding love?
Yes When God expresses that He misses you then you feel very loved. It's an
amazing concept.
During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information /
awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living
our earthly lives?
Uncertain
Did
you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?
Yes I felt my loving others was important...my main purpose. That is why He
had me feel of the importance of all His children as equal to my importance to
Him.
What occurred during your experience included:
Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at
the time of your experience It was what I knew from my limited understanding,
but I never dreamed I was so important to God, so that was new.
How
accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events
that occurred around the time of the experience?
I
remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred
around the time of the experience I have to also say that in general my memory
is, and always has been bad, but this memory, nor the feelings I felt, have ever
faded or changed. I can still feel myself standing in exactly that spot - the
way I was facing, my pose and posture, where the sun was in the sky, what I was
looking at when I first had the silly thought that started it all... everything.
Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your
experience:
I
have relied on that experience my whole life to feel loved when I know I'm quite
unlovable and to respect each person I meet as precious, beloved, and a greatly
valued child of God.
My experience directly resulted in:
Large changes in my life
Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that
occurred as a result of the experience?
Yes Valued myself and others more.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your
experience that you did not have before the experience?
No
Have you ever shared this experience with others?
Yes
Did
you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your
experience?
No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to
weeks) after it happened:
Experience was definitely real
What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:
Experience was definitely real
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Yes
I
know it's affected all my relationships because I am more able to love and
respect myself and others.
Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result
of your experience?
Uncertain
I
was so young. I was trying to do what I knew was right and I am still trying to
do what's right, but now I know I can rely on the power of the atonement to help
me do, be, overcome, and become what I could not on my own. I felt my
limitations then and now, but I know where to go for help.
At
any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the
experience?
No
Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and
comprehensively describe your experience?
Uncertain Nothing could comprehensively describe it, but I've done my best. I
could go on and on in some ways, but the essentials are there.