We did not have money to put our 2 year old son in daycare so my husband worked bankers hours and I worked the second shift. I was volunteering to work extra long hours, there would be days without seeing my husband or much of my kids. This went on for months. 

I was exhausted- so tire but because we needed the money to pay off bills and to continue to live the life style that we did, I continued to work long hours, going in on Saturdays and Sundays as well. At this time, there were times when my body lay in bed and I would feel my soul lifting off from my body. In other words, I was having out of body experiences but only I was asleep. I would see dark shadows standing at the bedroom door, I would feel the pull of my spirit trying to wander off and every time that happened, I body would suck my soul back.  

One night, after 6 months of constantly working, I came home and went to asleep right away. I remember that it was a Saturday night because I didn't have to go to work on that Sunday. Anyways, I was fast asleep.

I was dreaming- I went to a Buddha temple with my sister and we decided ti have our palms read by one of the Taoist priest there. We all were sitting on some traditional oriental rugs and the Taoist priest began to read my palm. All of sudden, She looked into my eyes, she had a scared look on her face and then she looked away, like she knew something but was not sure if she should tell me. I begged her to tell me what she saw and after a few minutes, the Taoist priest looked into my eyes again. She told me that my soul had already left my body and that I was going to die in a horrible accident but she doesn't know exactly when. She said that she was sorry but there was nothing she can do for me. I laughed it off because I did not have a strong faith in Taoist besides that I'm too young and I had too many things to do before my time comes. I brushed it off but deeply inside I was worried.  

Next thing I remember, my sister and I were in her car, she was driving, it was dark, I fell asleep. I woke up on the side of the road, my sister was no where to be found. The road was still dark. I felted lost and scared but something was pulling me through a time zone. One minute I was on the road, the next I walking, next I was in front of familiar surroundings but not being able to find my way home. Somehow I was able to find my sister in law but she looked like she was in a trance- at that time I realized I was in her dream.. She was dreaming about me.. I asked her what happen to me? Where my husband and my kids were? I was lost and I needed her help. She then, in a trance, not looking at me, answered me- That there was a car accident and that I had died, my husband and kids were at home and that she had to go. Then she turned away from me and again  I was pulled away.  

Next I remember standing on top of the stair case in my house. I saw my husband and my two kids with him. I looked around and the house was emptied of any furniture, painting, everything I worked so hard for. I suddenly had the feeling of lost, emptiness, sadness. I cannot began to explain the different emotions that I was feeling. Worst of all- the feeling of complete regret, dreading in my heart when i saw my little family. My husband was sitting there on the stairs and my 2 kids were off to his side. he was angry, angry at me, that I died and left him to raise our kids on his own. He cried and he was saying his good byes to me. At that moment I wanted to hug him, hold him for one last time, to tell him him how much I love and appreciate what he has done for me in our life together. I wanted him to see me and feel me. At that moment, nothing else in this world mattered more than my family but hard as I tried, I was no more alive. There was not going to be a second chance to love him and cherish him. No more of being a mother. I finally let go and said my good byes to him. When I realize that it was me who was making him angry because I was unable to let him go, I felt a light that grew behind me, it got brighter and brighter. This unearthly light made me dry happy tears. It made me realize that I had to let him know that it was okay- that I will be okay that he and my kids will be okay.. I hugged him one last time and I hugged my kids for the last time. Then the light got so bright, so bright that it woke me up.