Matt W's Experience
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Experience description:
The Dream
The dream, and
what followed, seemed to come in answer to a constant wish and desire to know
something of the universe beyond the nonsense ideas I heard of in school.
Though the original
dream was vivid, memorable, and tremendously inspiring, it began a process of
making attempts to express something for which there was no accurate
expression. From there, this process evolved to include ideas inspired by the
original experience, thoughts related to books and research information in
cosmology, and new dreams and images, and so forth.
This is a personal
process related to larger and more complex systems of myth and philosophy, but
for the purposes of this book, I shall remain close to the domain in which I am
most familiar, my own experience. This is a journey through my own journals,
art works, writing, and memory. It is partly a tracing back of my own process
of myth making attempting to reveal that which inspired one piece of art in
particular, my 336 square foot oil on canvas, 13 piece, 24-foot tall triangle of
paintings entitled, �Krallosvierd�.
In my life, I
have had a few defining moments which have inspired the contents of my daily
thoughts and life long dreams. Though the originating event is beyond words or
accurate description, this process described above, this making of myth, has
been in play in my life consuming thousands of hours of dreaming, sketching,
painting, writing, reading, researching, studies and it is finally all
culminating in the telling of this story.
The Dream
In no time, once
floating above the house then hovering in space seeing the Earth below. The
darkened Earth sat below with a bright crescent glowing in the sunlight, with
little diamond clusters sprinkled about in the shadows.
Floating above the
Earth, with a glowing presence at my side, or was it a reflection, but a
reflection of what? There was nothing there, I did not even have a body at all,
and the view was in every direction now. The Earth below, the moon, the stars,
the sun in view all at once.
The sun was suddenly
smaller, and the Earth gone. No feeling of movement at all, no body to feel
velocity, and no wind to whip in my ears, if I had any. The movement grew
faster. Stars dimmed and nebulae grew. Galaxies beyond counting became the
field of stars, and stars themselves gone away.
Clusters and blobs
of galaxies grew more distant, now growing fainter and fainter as I moved. In
one direction, the field of dimming dots. In the other, nothing at all, only
darkness never imagined. The field of dots becomes a wall, no a sphere now,
resolving into the shape of a sphere. In the direction that was nothingness,
now a wall of dim solid light, fuzzy, full of colors.
The direction from
which I came now held a glowing sphere. Though it was of countless galaxies and
stars, at this distance and from this view they all blended together. The
backdrop of this sphere was aglow with yet another, much larger sphere, fuzzy
around the edges then surrounded by the black nothingness. The bright sphere
was dwarfed against its glowing background, now clearly round, with marks in it
like sunspots and swirls and other glowing spheres in the distance.
As the glowing
sphere grew smaller, and even it�s background sphere grew smaller at this
distance, the other direction became much more clearly solid, like a wall of dim
light.
Suddenly, flying
into the wall of light, buried in light, nothing but light, becoming more and
more dense, even solid. Then instantly changing direction, the process moves in
reverse. Out from the light, into the darkness, moving toward the sphere. Dots
become blobs and walls. Blobs become masses of galaxies. Galaxies become
masses of stars. One galaxy, a crooked broken one somehow feeling familiar,
grows larger and larger, until the stars reach out enveloping.
Now in the
wonderful, familiar canopy of stars of home, one star grows larger, I know it is
home. Closer, it becomes as large as the morning sun, and then there is Earth
with a bright blue sliver of light on the left side of the dark globe.
Growing.
Suddenly, I am in
bed. In no time, I dreamed the cosmos was my back yard.
360 degree view
unlimited by time or velocity...just vision unlimited moving.
Did you have any sense
of altered space or time?
Yes Time and space
were irrelevant. Velocity was irrelevant.
Worst = Feeling alone
and odd and crazy, even to me.
I have wondered about
this and sometimes figure that if I knew ahead of time what was going to happen
I would not want to go...too scary in logical terms and far too unreal and
impossible to think about or really articulate. And I do not think I could
repeat it without the innocent depth of desire overruling my natural defenses,
etc.
Any associated
medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?
No
Was the kind of
experience difficult to express in words?
Yes
At the time of this
experience, was there an associated life threatening event?
No
What was your level
of consciousness and alertness during the experience?
Deep asleep
Was
the experience dream like in any way?
Yes
Did you experience
a separation of your consciousness from your body?
Yes At first seated
in chair with glowing body next to me, then just leaving with
What emotions did
you feel during the experience?
None, just maybe awe or
full attention...no blinking....no "eyes".
Did you hear any
unusual sounds or noises?
No...silence.
LOCATION
DESCRIPTION:
Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar
religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or
amazing creatures?
Yes Earth, planets,
Sun, galaxy, clusters, all feeling like the larger version of "home".
Did you see a
light?
Yes Lots of light,
and dynamic dark, almost like I'd say I was moving at the speed of dark...some
other form of the universe or element or nature...the other part we don't see or
something like that.
Did you meet or see
any other beings?
Yes I named the
light body next to me "The Zoid"...just what came to mind...and I later figured
maybe this was just my own personal 'light body'. To this day my auto license
plate reads ZOIDZ and the plates have been on every car I've owned. Zoid is a
part of my life.
Did you experiment
while out of the body or in another, altered state?
No
Later on in life I
did this, yes. Monroe Institute Remote Viewing exercise. Listening to music
and "floating above the house". When I was little I flew around the neighborhood
in dreams, but never very far.
Did you observe or
hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be
verified later?
No
Did you notice how
your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different?
No
Did you have a
sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
Yes I was being
shown the large scale structure of The Universe.
Did you reach a
boundary or limiting physical structure?
Yes At the farthest
reaches of "the trip" there was a wall or sphere edge I could not move through
and I reversed direction then and followed the same path back.
Did you become
aware of future events?
Yes Could see where
our local Universe came from and where it is going.
Were you involved
in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?
Yes It was part of
the bargain or deal with The Zoid...to bounce back like a YoYo.
Did you have any
psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did
not have prior to the experience?
Yes Sometimes can
see what is going to happen...often not.
Did you have any
changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
Yes Everything.
How has the
experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career
choices?
Life has been a jumble of changes and shifting around avoiding being the person
who had "the dream" sort of hiding from it until now.
Has your life
changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Yes Totally.
Have you shared
this experience with others?
Yes Only one person
knows the whole thing but I've just published it all on a website so others may
know later. In general over the years the more I've mentioned it the stranger I
was seen...so I just avoided it.
What emotions did
you experience following your experience?
Awe and wonder.
Passion to do more and paint and explain and describe. Fear and confusion.
Doubt and denial. Waiting.
What was the best
and worst part of your experience?
Best = Having my
deepest desire answered beyond my wildest (previous) dreams.
Is there anything
else you would like to add concerning the experience?
Now at age 58 with 2012
coming soon it's time for me to tell all and put it out there in the world.
I've finally realized that the harder I try to blend in and just be normal the
stranger I seem to others...so it's time to just really be who I am. Today when
I looked at how I live and what I think and dream daily...it's so strange that I
go to work as a bus driver everyday letting the real me just be hidden away like
this. How odd...how very very odd. But, I have survived to tell the tale.
Over the years I've dealt with fears of being burned at the stake or shot, etc.,
so maybe I was just waiting for the right time to come.
Following the
experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or
substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
No
Did the questions
asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your
experience?
Uncertain For more
information, my general life story outline, and the images produced from the
dream, go to my website at krallosvierd.com
Please offer any
suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.
Why was it only once
and would I wish to do it again?