Matt E STE
Home Page Share Experience New Experiences

Experience description:

In the spring of 2002 I was living in Marin County, California.  I had just gone through a tumultuous legal separation in the fall with my now ex-wife.  She'd moved to a different state.  I was now living alone for the first time in my life, but my Dad lived in the area too.  One day my dad called me and said a friend was visiting from out of town that happened to be a reiki practitioner.  He offered to get me a free reiki session.  I had never had reiki before.  I didn't really know much about it.  Somewhat skeptical about whether reiki could actually help me or not, I decided to give it a try.

A few days later I showed up at the house my dad's reiki friend was staying in and he introduced me to her, a kind woman, probably in her mid-60s.  My dad left the house to give us some privacy and said he'd come back later to pick me up.

I laid down on a massage table and let the practitioner get to work.  Her hands hovered over me and she told me to breath in certain ways.  Eventually, I found myself laying on my stomach, eyes closed, head facedown in the cradle of the massage table.  My mind became clear and focused on my breath.

In an instant I found myself enveloped by entirely new surroundings.  I was at the near end of a tunnel--in the circle of the tunnel was an amazing light, bright and radiating an overwhelming sense of love.  360 degrees around the dark tunnel which I viewed through, an invisible choir sang what seemed like a single incredible note.  The music filled me with the same overwhelming feeling of love as the light before me.

My guess is that I was only there for around 5 seconds.  Next thing I knew, I was back on the massage table gasping in huge sobs.  I cried and cried!  I just couldn't contain myself.  It was like I had been shot straight to The Source.  I could only handle it for so long before popping back.  I cried because it was so beautiful.  For that instant I had felt so alive--it seemed almost familiar and that it was all that really mattered.  During the entire experience my ex-wife was the furthest thing from my mind.  The light, the song, were far more real than my struggles, more real than any strife in this world.  It didn't feel like I had necessarily been out of my body, if anything it felt as if I was deep within the self.

Once I composed myself I told the reiki practitioner what I'd experienced.  It seemed like she had never been told of such a thing before, but she was very accepting and interested.  I told my dad when he came by to pick me up too.  He's always been receptive to this sort of thing, so he didn't doubt me at all.

Over the course of the following week I felt out of sorts.  It was like I knew I had to keep living in the everyday world with the knowledge that it was not entirely real, but I had no choice in the matter.  I eventually stopped thinking about the experience so much and got on with my life.  What else could I do?  If you look up reiki online it doesn't say anything about being transported straight to The Source!  If it did, I'm sure there'd be droves of people clamoring to get reiki.

About six years later, I was living in the Mission District of San Francisco.  My girlfriend at the time wanted me to meet a large group of her friends at a restaurant.  I never really had much to say around her friends, but I reluctantly agreed.  At the gathering I started talking with a man, the boyfriend of one of my girlfriend's friends.  We had never met before, but as the conversation deepened, something told me it was ok to talk about my reiki experience with this person.  As it turned out, this man had experienced something very similar to me when he'd gotten reiki in Hawaii, including the intense sobbing afterwards.  What are the chances of that?!  A few weeks later this man moved away and I never saw him again.  We had both been hoping to hang out again sometime, but it just never happened.  I wonder if the only reason we met was to validate each other's experience.

Sometime between the experience and sharing my story with the man at the restaurant, I became interested in the channeled book, A Course In Miracles.  Starting on page 445 and continuing through page 447 of my copy is a section with the heading of "The Forgotten Song."  When I first read this section of the book, shivers shot up my spine, because I knew it was describing what I had experienced.  I wanted to copy some of those passages here, but then thought about copyright laws, but you know where to find it if you want to read it.

What I experienced wasn't an NDE, but I believe that you don't have to die in order to go to some of the same places.  And as I said before, I don't believe I was out of my body, but deep within the self.  But sometimes, when I think about death, this vision gives me comfort.

 Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?      No     

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words?          Yes    The degree of the truly overwhelming love I felt.

 At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event? No     

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?    Totally conscious and alert.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?  No, I was awake the entire time.

 Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?   No     

What emotions did you feel during the experience?          Overwhelming love and joy and remembrance of our divine origins.

 Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?         Yes, a full choir that I could not see, but I heard and felt.  It seemed that the voices must have been coming from hundreds of loving entities around me.

 LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?         No     

Did you see a light?        Yes    The light was white, bright and felt like it was made of love.  It didn't hurt to look at it.

 Did you meet or see any other beings?         No     

Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state?         No     

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Uncertain     I met someone years later that had gone through an almost identical experience.

 Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different? Yes    Sight and hearing were as good or better than usual.

 Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  No     

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?         Yes    There is something more real than the everyday world we accept as "reality."

 Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?           No     

Did you become aware of future events?      No     

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?          No Response         Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience? Uncertain     I feel that I've always been a bit more sensitive than most.  When I was 4 years old and my family was on vacation in Texas, we visited the Alamo.  I became afraid, cried and screamed until my parents took me out of there.  I felt like something bad had happened there, and I was only 4.  I knew nothing of the Mexican/American war.  About two years ago our cat died.  I've felt him come back and visit a couple times, walking up on the bed and purring just like he used to.  I have a few more stories I could tell if you're curious...

 Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?     Uncertain     I've always been spiritual, but mostly based on faith.  This experience, to me, was proof that the spiritual is real, and more real than this world.

 How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?   It has reaffirmed my spiritual, but not religious stance.  I've always felt there are bits of truth in most religions, but there is a spiritual truth none of them grasp fully.

 Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? No     

Have you shared this experience with others?       Yes          Yes, as stated above, I shared it with the reiki practitioner right after it happened, with my dad, and with the man I met at the restaurant, who disclosed to me a similar experience.

 What emotions did you experience following your experience? Overwhelming love, absolute joy, and then later a feeling of disconnection from the everyday world.

 What was the best and worst part of your experience?          Best: The love and joy  Worst: The feeling of disconnection.

 Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience? No.

 Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?       No     

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?           Yes    I believe it did the best it could with words.