Experience description:

I was praying because I was terrified and confused. I felt my life was about to end. As I prayed a horizontal hole appeared before my left eye about five inches from my eye. From the bottom of that whole appeared (slowly), a light which eventually permeated all that I could see. At first I was terrified. I thought it might be evil because I thought what my husband was doing to me was evil, but then in a voice I could only describe as a soft but roaring voice told me "it was of God." I could not talk or move. Time stopped. As this light appeared I felt this "love." A love not of this Earth. I have never had this feeling before nor have I had it since. I was told, in my mind, that this light knew every thought that I had ever had and was capable of remembering "all" of them. I couldn't even do that. Then, from right to left, almost like the stock exchange tape reading we see on TV, I was told that "Everything I perceived to be bad that had ever happened to me including being with this man was so that I could help others." The whole time I was being given this message I was enveloped in a "love" that I have never known and is not of this earth. I wanted to go to this light or go with this light but just as I thought that "it" read my mind and reminded me of my children. I was very sad but I knew it was not time to leave them. They needed me. I knew I would be with that light again someday. No doubt in my mind. I was also told to "humble myself" and walk to give instruction to a man I knew that was a member of the Mormon church near my home. I was confused about that but did what I was told.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   Uncertain  I was praying because I was in a position of being killed by my now ex-husband.

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  No    

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    During the whole experience. My mind was sharp. I knew it was real and I didn't really have a choice in whether I experienced it or not. It just was.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal   In my normal consciousness and alertness I am able to move and speak. I do not see white lights through holes and know that it is "of God." I am not given messages in my brain without verbally hearing a human being speak. I do not remember every detail of experiences like I have this one. It is "embedded" in my brain, heart, mind, and soul.

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   I could see with my eyes closed. I cannot normally see with my eyes closed. I don't hear voices in my head that give me messages. I cannot judge the distance nor time. I did not just "see" these things as I said before, they were "embedded" in my soul.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   I heard nothing that was happening around me. I only heard the "telepathic" messages that were being given to me. Life, as I know it, did not exist. I would say I was suspended in time and space, if that makes sense.

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   No  

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   It happened so fast. One minute I am praying for my life and the next second I am seeing a hole that light is coming out of and at first I was terrified but the "light" sensed it and immediately reassured me that it was "of God."  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   No  

Did you see an unearthly light?   Yes  

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
As I described above, the instant I became frightened the "light" sensed it and immediately told me (in my head, that it was "of God."

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   Uncertain   As before, "the light" could read my mind and immediately told me that it was "of God."

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   No  

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   Yes   Whatever the light was, it knew things that I had experienced in my life that I perceived to be horrible experiences including the one I was involved in at the time. It then showed me the "ticker tape." The message in clear letters that I could read. "Everything that you have perceived to be bad that has happened to you in your life was so that you could help others."

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
I was suspended in the light. It permeated everything.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   No

Did you come to a border or point of no return?   I came to a definite conscious decision to "return" to life
I remember for a period of, I guess, "time" which does not exist where I was, all I wanted to do was stay in that light and feel that love. As I said, it could read my mind and obviously sensed that thought because it reminded me of my children and how much they needed me and that changed everything that I was probably "selfishly" feeling.

Did scenes from the future come to you?  No 

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (�life after death�)?   Yes   I sensed or somehow just knew at that moment that life and love are eternal. There is no end. I knew that I would be with "this light" again someday and that it would be very good.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   As I said, when I could not move or talk, then instantly everything was dark and this hole appeared and this light starts to come out of the bottom of it I was terrified. It read my mind and immediately reassured me it "was of God." That was clear as a bell.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life�s meaning or purpose?   Yes   As I said, the second I had the thought that this light might be bad or evil "it" assured me that "it" was "of God."

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life�s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   Yes   As I said, the second I had the thought that this light might be bad or evil "it" assured me that "it" was "of God."

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   Yes   I became aware that there is "something" or "someone" that is capable of a love "not of this earth." It is so wonderful a feeling I don't think that I can find words to describe it. I know how much I love my children and that I would give my life for them without ever being asked. The love I felt during this experience is again "not of this earth" and I would go as far as to say beyond "all-encompassing." I have no words to describe it, all I know is I am grateful for the knowledge I have been given. It is a gift.

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   Yes   Love and help others.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   Yes   I certainly knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was being given "special knowledge and purpose."

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience   I had no idea why terrible things happened to me in my life. I wanted to be a nun as a child, I attended church, I was a good kid. I talked to God all the time. I was kind and I knew I had a good heart. I knew I was somehow close to God. I know he exists and has always been in my life. He gives me every breath I take. I look for the "good" in "bad" since my experience and I try on a daily basis to help someone. Even if it is just giving a smile or a helping hand to someone that looks or feels sad.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience   As I said before, it is embedded in my mind and my soul.

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   I learned to love the sinner without loving the sin.

My experience directly resulted in:   Large changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?   Yes   Well before my experience I did not know that God would show me things that He does not show all people.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   Yes   My son was a student at USC. I had a terrible dream about him being in an automobile accident. I even heard the nurses voice and the words that she was going to say to me when the call came two nights later. I woke from that dream and told my husband all the details that I could remember. Two nights later that dream came true, (the woman's voice and the words, all the words I told my husband that she had said in my dream I was now hearing over the phone at 1:30 in the morning. I get pictures of things not all people get pictures of. I "sense" things that I did not sense before. I know many times who is on the phone when the phone rings before answering. I play a game of mentally asking one of my kids to call me and sure enough, they call. I even warned a man that I had just met at my sister's 60th B-day party to stay off of motorcycles because I had a terrible feeling when I looked at a picture of him on it that he was going to be killed on it. Sure enough, six months later he died in a motorcycle accident. I prayed really hard for him because he died so "suddenly and tragically." Somehow, some way this man was able to "reach out" to me from the other side. (please don't think I'm nuts. It's true.) I am able to see, sense, and experience things that I could not see and sense before.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?     The whole experience was incredible. I am grateful that I have never doubted my sanity because of it and I will never deny that it happened no matter what anybody thinks about me. I was very relieved to know that terrible things did not happen to me because I was doing something wrong in my life. I am honored that "God" chose me to have an experience such as this; not all people do.

Have you ever shared this experience with others?   Yes  As afraid as I was I followed the light's directions and the next day I "humbled myself" and I walked to the Mormon church to tell this bishop what I was supposed to tell him.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   Uncertain   If I did hear of it, I probably did not believe it. I have to see things with my own eyes to believe them.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   As I said, I have never had an experience like this before and I know what I saw, heard, and experienced.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real   I still remember and probably always will what I experienced and have no reason not to believe it happened. I was wide awake when it happened.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   Yes, I divorced my abusive husband and as I have explained above I sense, hear, see, and get pictures of things not all people get.

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   Yes, I now know that there is only one God and I don't have to go to church for hours to please him.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   Uncertain   Every time I have an experience that I think is really unusual I remember what I learned that night.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?   I wish that all people could have an experience like this then maybe the world would be a happier more peaceful place.

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   Yes