Marvin D's Experience
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Experience description:
I attended a 3 days
weekend Reiki workshop during which I was initiated as a level one Reiki
practitioner. This workshop also included a series of practice Reiki session in
which students could give or receive treatments.
My experience occurred
when I was the recipient of a treatment. The treatment began with me lying face
up on a massage table. The Reiki master conducting the workshop stood the head
of the table. Students worked on other parts of my body placing hands on
various chakras.
Reiki is a hands on
energy healing technique in which initiated practitioners channel Ki through
themselves and into a recipient via their hands. Typically this is done through
a series of hand prescribed hand positions which correspond roughly to energy
centers, or chakras in the body.
My session began
without any special attention or preparation. However as the session progressed
I could feel intense energy flowing in various parts of my body. At some point
there was a powerful concentration of energy in my head and neck creating a
strong feeling of pressure.
The Reiki master
advised that I focus my attention to any such area and see what I could
discover. This process generally begins with asking questions of those areas
where the energy is most keenly felt.
As the sensation of
pressure great more intense, I closed my eyes and began to ask silently what the
original source of this pressure might be. Almost immediately I found myself
standing entirely alone on a featureless grey plain.
As I looked around I
noted that the sky was also grey and featureless. The only difference between
sky and ground was a light variation in tone. I also noted that this landscape
was lighted with a distinct soft but non-directional light. The light was
entirely uniform and had no obvious source, it simply was light, everywhere.
There was no sound, no
feeling of wind, and no sensation of temperature. The whole scene was entirely
surreal and yet it felt entirely real. I was still very much aware of my
physical body on the table, yet I was also aware of what seemed this equally
real grey place.
I tried to explain what
I was seeing and feeling to others around the table, and specifically to the
Reiki master, assuming this would somehow make sense to them. I was advised
that I should not seeking to explain this experience, but rather to allow myself
to go into it fully seeking to understand the pressure I was experiencing.
I continued to look
around this other worldly environment seeking something which could explain it.
I silently asked for help to understand what this place was, and why I was
there.
At some point shortly
after asking these questions I noticed the appearance of an object, some
distance ahead of me and to my right. At first the object was to far away to
distinguish features. I tried to move closer but the object seemed to move away.
Frustrated I demanded
to know what this object was and, suddenly I was standing next to it. There was
no sense of having moved, I was simply there in an instant.
The object was a smooth
grey spherical shape. It seemed to have mass and weight and was sitting on the
ground. I recall that it was not perfectly grey but had a slight hint of pink
to it.
I was still aware of my
physical body lying on the table during the Reiki session, however my sense of
being in a time and space seemed to become distorted. The grey world I was
experiencing seemed to pull in my conscious awareness imposing or intruding into
my feelings or what was real.
Consulting with the
Reiki master I described the scene before me trying to figure out what this
object might be. She advised that I simply explore it as I thought it might be
possible to do so.
I approached the object
and began to run my hands over it. This is a curious phrase to use because I
don't recall having hands. However I do recall the object feeling smooth and
soft.
As some point during
this exploration I began again to silently ask of the object what it was. At
some point in that process I found myself drawing into it, almost like I had
been absorbed.
I found myself inside a
chamber the size of an average sized room. The walls were smooth and grey but
somewhat different from the exterior. The interior shape mirrored the shape of
the outside but obviously with a reverse arch. It was clear that I was standing
inside a hollow sphere. The shape as more like a partially deflated balloon,
not perfectly round, but rather a dome shape with a flatten bottom.
Once again I noted
there was a soft light which seemed to have no source. The interior of the
sphere was illuminated but not from a specific point. The light just seemed to
be there, everywhere evenly.
I began to feel a sense
of panic that somehow I was now inside this object with not apparent way to get
out. Just as I had those thoughts I noticed an opening across from me and to my
left. I had not noticed this previously, but it seemed to somehow be just
there. I had no sense of this opening, emerging or developing or being created,
it was simply there.
I approached the
opening cautiously. Standing close enough to look in I could see a tunnel which
went down curving to the right. The tunnel was lined with regularly spaced
ridges not unlike a series of doughnuts. I recall thinking that this tunnel had
the appearance of one of the plastic tunnels one finds in a children's
playground. However this tunnel was clearly made of something soft and the
ridges would have prevented it being used as a slide.
The tunnel became dark
as it disappear around the bend. I stepped closer to see if I could look
further down and then found myself inside the tunnel. I knew I was moving down,
but I had no sense of falling. I was being pulled along by a force which seemed
to carry me.
At this point I had
begun to disconnect with the physical body I knew rationally to be laying on the
massage table. The experience I was having within the confines of this grey
world had become extremely powerful and very real.
As the experience in
the tunnel continued I felt a sense of real panic. The walls of the tunnel
began to squeeze in on me and as they did any sense of light disappeared until I
was in total darkness. At some point in this event I recall opening my physical
eyes but was unable to actually see anything.
I knew that the room I
was in was filled with light, because rationally I also knew it was a sunny
afternoon and the room was filled with windows. However at that moment in time
my eyes could see nothing of that light.
The passage of time was
now totally distorted. I had no concept of time or space, and my sense of what
was real was entirely gone. The walls of the tunnel continued to collapse and
squeeze me with an almost unbearable pressure. My sense was that I was at that
moment dying, both in the grey world and the real world.
I could hear the Reiki
master advising me to keep breathing, and relax. She continued to try and keep
me in the moment and to assure me that I was in fact safe.
At some point the
pressure in my head became so intense I felt I could no longer stand it. Just
about then, my body began to contort as if pulled by some invisible force. My
left arm was pulled up and then stretched out painfully. I felt my left
shoulder bring dislocated. Then I felt a real sense of panic as I felt myself
stuck somehow.
At this juncture the
intense pressure in my head increased again, this time with a sharpness which
would be hard to fully appreciate. I could feel my jaw being pushed to one side
and the terrible intensity of my head being crushed as my neck was being
stretched. These distortions and contortions were taking place in my physical
body while I was also experiencing the associated feelings within this other
world.
Somewhere within this
period I lost the ability to speak. Language entirely left me and all which
remained was emotion and feeling. I could make sound, but the sound was not one
I understood. Then I found that I could cry, but it was not a normal cry. The
sound I heard was that of a newborn baby.
Hearing myself make
that sound I realized I had just re-experienced the traumatic events of my
birth.
The experience was so
physically draining I could not walk. It took some minutes before I could find
any words of speech, and even so I could not say more than a few words. I was
freezing cold and totally stunned by what had just transpired.
During the course of
this experience I was able to learn things about my birth which were unknown to
me. Later I was able to learn from my parents that my birth had been especially
difficult. During delivery I had become lodged in the birth canal and was
pulled free by my left arm, the then subsequently using something called a high
forceps delivery. This apparently caused significant bruising to my face and
head.
I think of this as a
pre-birth near death experience. While I did not experience a heavenly realm,
reliving those events though my Reiki session certainly convinced me that other
spiritual realms do exist.
At the time of your
experience was there an associated life-threatening event?
No
Was the experience
difficult to express in words?
Yes While the
experience was in a sense the recall of a pre-birth memory I was also aware of
receiving some kind of non-verbal direction. This was a kind of guidance for
what of a better term. It was more a knowing which came to me in such a way so
I could better understand the experience. It helped me to really comprehend
that the experience was not a dream or a fabrication but rather an important
event which would later serve me in other ways.
At what time during
the experience were you at your highest level of
consciousness and
alertness?
More
consciousness and alertness than normal This is a difficult question to
answer. I was highly conscious and alert during most of the experience.
However there were moments when the reality of the events became entirely
clear. At some points in the experience my consciousness expanded to allow me
to be physically present while also being entirely aware another aspect of me
being present in another reality.
Please compare your
vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately
prior to the time of the experience.
The vision I had
was not one of normal sight. I'm not sure I would describe it as being more
vivid, or more clear, it was simply different. I had the distinct feeling that
I was not seeing with eyes, but rather with my mind. If I chose to see
something I didn't have to actually look at it, but rather I would think about
looking and in doing so I would see instantly what I wanted to see. This is
entirely different from the physical act of looking in which one has to turn
your head or move your eyes, or focus your vision.
Please compare your
hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately
prior to the time of the experience.
I had not
perception of any changes in hearing.
Did you see or hear
any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness /
awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?
No
What emotions did you
feel during the experience?
I felt confusion,
uncertainty, fear, and panic at certain points. However, in some portions of
the experience I felt a kind of resolution that this was something I had to do
and so I would follow through. Under all that was a degree of confidence that
somehow this was all OK because I was protected. I don't have a specific way of
explaining that feeling, aside from trust.
Did you pass into or
through a tunnel?
Yes I do not think
the tunnel I experienced was the one most commonly associated with NDEs.
However I did go through a tunnel.
Did you see an
unearthly light?
Yes The light I
describe in my experience was one of the more unusual parts of the it. That
light was especially memorable. As a photographer I work with light and
lighting all the time. For me the light stood as as being especially
remarkable.
Did you seem to
encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable
voice?
I encountered a
definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
During the course of my experience I seemed to be guided or directed by a
voiceless voice. It was more like being aware of ones thoughts, much like the
inner dialogue which speaks to us from within us. However, this voice clearly
seemed to be from a source outside myself, speaking to me, and through me all at
the same time.
Did you encounter or
become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?
No
Did you become aware
of past events in your life during your experience?
Yes Yes, I
re-experience my own birth. In addition I was given insight into how this event
effected my life and the lives of others with whom I've had a relationship. Some
of the events of my birth which I experienced, were later verified as having
taken place as I related them to my parents
Did you seem to enter
some other, unearthly world?
Some unfamiliar and
strange place
Yes, this is the
grey world I described in my earlier recollection of the event.
Did time seem to speed
up or slow down?
No
Did you suddenly seem
to understand everything?
Everything about myself
or others
Everything is a very
big term and I'm not sure it accurately applies to my experience. However I can
say that my understanding of myself, others and the universe was expanded as a
result of the experience. I now see things differently than I did before the
experience.
Did you reach a
boundary or limiting physical structure?
No
Did you come to a
border or point of no return?
No
Did scenes from the
future come to you?
No
Did you have a sense
of knowing special knowledge or purpose?
Yes This is very
difficult to describe because I can't clearly tell you how this special
knowledge came to me in the experience. It was more like a download which
contained all the relevant information which made the experience make sense.
However, the experience did not seem to end with this single event. Over weeks,
months and years to follow, that special information would pop up at specific
points bringing me back to my own experiences and using them as examples which
could be held out to allow me to see others through this unique lens. In my
pain suffering and fear I could then see those things in others. But the
special knowing offered me a context or a frame of reference from which to gain
insight, and learn compassion and non-judgment.
Discuss any changes
that might have occurred in your life after your experience:
Moderate changes in my
life My priorities began to shift towards matters of spiritual consideration.
I became much more aware of the need for compassion and understanding. I began
to seeking out a new direction in life which a more spiritually centered
focus.
Did you have any
changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result
of the experience?
Uncertain I think
my life was already going in a more spiritual and compassionate direction.
However this single experience seemed to accelerate changes which were under
development, and perhaps create new opportunities for growth.
Do you have any
psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did
not have before the experience?
No
Have you ever shared
this experience with others?
Yes I shared the
experience with my parents, my children and my wife, as well as close and
trusted friends. Their reactions have been mixed, but never negative. I
suspect that most have no idea about the actual meaning of the experience to me.
Did you have any
knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?
Yes Yes, I have
read about NDE before. However after the experience I became much more curious
and began to read everything I could on the subject.
What did you believe
about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it
happened:
Experience was definitely real It is impossible for me to entirely state what
the experience was real for me. Much of what occurred was so exceptional as to
be science fiction. However, having lived it and felt it I can state with great
certainty that it was neither a dream nor a delusion.
What do you believe
about the reality of your experience at the current time:
Experience was
definitely real I have no doubt the experience was entirely real.
Have your
relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?
No
Have your religious
beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?
No
At any time in your
life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?
Yes, from time to time,
as I meditate or do personal Reiki treatments I will have some of the same
physical reactions in those areas injured during my birth trauma. I have not
however had anything close to the original experience.
Did the questions
asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe
your experience?
Yes So far as can be
done with words this form does allow for an accurate description of most aspects
of such an experience. The experience itself however is almost beyond
description.
Are there one or
several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant
to you? The
experience helped me see myself more clearly and better understand some of the
underlying physical issues which have plagued me throughout life. However the
most important aspect of this understanding is that it has allowed me to connect
that which is physical with a corresponding spiritual cause. In this I was able
to free myself from feeling a victim, and in this I became empowered.
Is there anything else
that you would like to add about your experience?
Some things are very
difficult to put into words. The sense of knowing which accompanied the other
aspects of the experience is one of those things. It is also difficult to
describe what it feels like to simply know something is absolutely true without
having evidence to support it. I simply know with absolute certainty that we
exist as spiritual beings apart from our physical selves, While I know this to
be true, I simply can't prove it.