Maria's Experience
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Experience description:
I
had always had this kind of memory. I don't know if I had dreamt it or
imagined it as a kid but the memory is quite strong and accompanied me all
my life. I remember seeing a baby's body and two entities on my right
smiling at me. They were very kind and loving. They were like parents
who drop off their kids at school but instead they were dropping me into
this body. As I was watching this fat and small body, I began to see
the childhood that she was going to experience. It was like living
images that were unfolding and going faster. The images were sad. I
saw a lot of stress and crying. I told them I didn't want to go there
because I didn't want to experience that. The beings gently told me that, "I
had to" and that "everything was going to be Ok." These images went through
my childhood and into my youth, but stop around the adult years. I realized
that the little body was a girl and I thought, "Oh my God, on the top of
that, I will have to be a girl. I don't want to be a girl!" Which is funny
now because I'm happy being a woman now. I wouldn't like to be a man.
I never had gender identity problems. The way they said "you have to" was
kindly but in a way that I had no other option. It was like talking to
a child who must go to school. With much sadness, I entered the body.
I don't know if it was at that moment or before but they told me I had to
live this life to learn or to experience loneliness. Which I did and I still
am. I had a very sad childhood that impacted me on who I am now.
When I was a child, I remember dreaming more than once the same dream: I was
a very young soldier who was shot in the chest. I was dying in a European
city street. To my surprise I wasn't dead. I was shocked and confused. I was
not understanding how I was still alive if my heart had stopped. I was very
scared. Sometimes, I think it could be from a past-life, but maybe it was
just a dream. I remember it very clearly though, especially the anxiety and
the dust in the street were I was sitting/lying.
I
remember some angels or entities that came to visit me when I was a baby or
a toddler. I remember getting outside of my body and going somewhere in
space. Once, I went too far and they told me I could never do that
again. I was very sad. I also remember being a bit older, maybe
3-4 years old. An older woman, who looked like angel, told me that
she had to leave and that I will be alone now. That break my heart since I
had no one around me that was so kind and loving.
I'm quite sure that all these memories are real as they feel like it.
But who knows, maybe all were dreams and fantasies I had a child.
Was the kind of experience
difficult to express in words?
No
At the time of this experience, was
there an associated life threatening event?
No
What was your level of
consciousness and alertness during the experience?
I was very conscious and awake. I was
suppose to be a new-born but somehow my mind was like an adult mind
Was the experience dream like in any way?
No, it felt real
Did you experience a separation of
your consciousness from your body?
Yes I don't remember seeing myself. I
guess I didn't have a body. I was so worried about the new life I had
to start, that I don't remember noticing anything else
What emotions did you feel during
the experience?
Sadness and
fear as I was going to be alone in a life I didn't want to
Did you hear any unusual sounds or
noises?
No
LOCATION DESCRIPTION:
Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from
familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by
incredible or amazing creatures?
No
Did you see a light?
No
Did you meet or see any other
beings?
Yes
They were like a couple, they were very nice
and kind. They had loved me forever and I got the feeling we were related,
they made me or they were taking care of me.
Did you experiment while out of the
body or in another, altered state?
No
Did you observe or hear anything
regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified
later?
No
Did you notice how your 5 senses
were working, and if so, how were they different?
No
Did you have any sense of altered
space or time?
No
Did you have a sense of knowing,
special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
No
Did you reach a boundary or
limiting physical structure?
No
Did you become aware of future
events?
Uncertain I saw events from my future
childhood. They were like the normal unfolding of events that will must
likely occur by mixing my soul with this body and this family and this time.
Those images where the result of all that.
Were you involved in or aware of a
decision regarding your return to the body?
Uncertain They made me, I had no other
choice
Did you have any psychic,
paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not
have prior to the experience?
No
Did you have any changes of
attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
No
How has the experience affected
your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?
I began to take all these
memories seriously when in my late teens. I guess they made me more
open-minded.
Has your life changed specifically
as a result of your experience?
No
Have you shared this experience
with others?
No
What emotions did you experience following your experience?
Sadness and a bit angry that I
didn't get to choose
What was the best and worst part of
your experience?
I don't know
Is there anything else you would
like to add concerning the experience?
No
Following the experience, have you
had any other events in your life, medications or substances which
reproduced any part of the experience?
No
Did the questions asked and
information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your
experience?
Yes