Experience description:   

I woke up at about 4 am.  Everything was normal.  I went to the bath room and checked on the family.  They were at home sleeping like normal. 

Suddenly, in the middle of the corridor leading to bed room, I felt engulfed by an enormous feeling of warmth and well being.  There was an incredible bright light, white but not blinding.  I felt a part of the universe.  Then a message was telepathically conveyed to me, very simple, "love, the important thing is to give, no matter how, when or to whom, all is about giving."  Then I felt terribly afraid and overwhelmed.  All of a sudden, I felt back at home, in the middle of the corridor leading to my bedroom.  My husband and children were still asleep, all was silent. 

I never told anybody about it, but it changed my life.  I became less materialistic, and more caring. 

In March 2007, my husband died of a heart attack.  I was with a friend when I felt this irresistible urge to go home.  I immediately went home and there he was, seemingly asleep.  He had just died.  I phoned 911 ( 12 in Portugal), and did heart massage.  The emergency response people spent 40 minutes trying to revive my husband, but couldn't ( a big clot in the left coronary).  He was never sick and died at age 55.

Since then, I began to interest myself in NDERF , read a lot about it ( Dr Moody) and it was what helped me get through all this.  What made me finally realize the whole experience I had had, way back in the beginning was all connected.  Now I feel I am different, no longer afraid of death, much more caring, and still ask myself why me? What is God's plan, mission for me, for I know there must be one. Will it come back? I want to but I am still a bit afraid because it is an enormous thing to happen.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     No      

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes     describing in everyday words the warmth and color bright and also the telepathic words received

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          No      

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           Never felt more alive

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   no, it was real, although at the time it knocked me completely, so that I never spoke to anybody about it until 3 years ago, when my husband died and all then made sense.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No      

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Wanted to stay there forever, but then was also afraid such was the enormity of it all, was afraid never to see my children ( very young at the time) again.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           no

LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?    No           

Did you see a light?           Yes     Definitely yes, all was light and warm, sort of a bubble, and I was within, part of it all.  Colors are difficult to describe: white, yellow, bright.

Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state? No      

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No      

Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different?          Yes     I saw this light very bright but it did not blind me at all, and I saw very well ( I am myopic, very) yet I saw perfectly well.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     I do not know how may minutes it took, but it must have been very few, yet, it seemed hours. Like there was no time at all, nothing mattered anymore.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes     A voice communicated to me, not speaking, not exactly a voice, a strong thought, very clearly, about love and giving being the only and most important thing of life.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?             No      

Did you become aware of future events?       No      

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?       No       Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?   Yes     I told a friend of mine I had absolutely to go home, when I was not at all supposed to, and then discovered my husband asleep like, only he had just died , the paramedics told me later that he must have died exactly 1 or 2 minutes, 5 at the most , before I called them , they must have taken 2 or 3 to come to my door, so that they spent 40 min trying everything to revive him, and then, 1 month after his death, one night, I was very worried about how my husband was, was he well? etc, and I thought very hard about it, and then, when I was going to turn out the light in my bedroom, I saw light in my daughter's bedroom, I thought how strange, nobody else home, and I went there, tried six or more times to turn the light down, and I couldn't, went to bed, next morning, it was out, and my daughter is my husband's sweet beloved daughter, very much like him physically and mentally.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes     I am much more patient and caring, not afraid to die. Some people have told me that they see a golden aura in me. I try every day to help , sometimes by just listening, or really help, with my professional skills or whatever I can do.

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       I go to Mass a little more often than before, and now the Gospel makes total sense as never before.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes     I am much more caring and understanding in my relationship with other people, even strangers. I am more giving: attention, money etc. I do not care so much about possessions and earthly assets.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     Only recently, and with very very few. I think some were influenced, because I am a totally normal person, some have also shared some very special experiences with me after this. Because some, almost all people do not believe in this, and some do not want to hear, because , my feeling, is that they are afraid of such , it reminds them of their mortality and it makes them uneasy.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  Wonder and at the same time some fear.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The warmth, the feeling of being home, part of a whole universal being, and the worst was this fear of leaving all my loved ones, my children especially, and at the time my father ( he died in 1998, after that) , so fear may be of the unknown.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        It was the strongest good one of my whole life ( the worst was my husband's death, following my father's, which was also with me present, I was asleep in hospital room with him, my turn that night, I awoke at 6 am, and he had died, during the night, the silence when I woke up, I still remember it)

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         Yes     Yes, when my husband died, I firmly believe he called for me, and that is why I went home at that time, when I was not supposed at all to, and found out he had just passed away, called 911, they spent 40 min trying to revive him, a proof he had just died when I had this unstoppable urge to go home. Then there was this incident with the bedroom light that I could not put off in my daughter's bedroom, 1 month after my husband's death, when I had prayed and asked how he was, for him to send me a message, a signal whatever so that I could know he was OK.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes