Experience description:

            My experience while totally amazing was not a near death experience in the traditional sense of the experience in that I did not have anything happen to me that caused the event.  I was laying awake in bed beside my husband who was sound asleep experiencing a bad night of insomnia.  I got up to use the washroom around 3:00 a.m.  I should preface this by saying that I had lost my father five years prior to this experience which led me on a journey to find out exactly what I believed happens to us when we die.  My dad died in March of 1998 and as I was coming out of the worst part of the grieving process which is the first few months after death where you feel like a walking zombie I started to notice little things around my house.  I have a voracious curiosity to begin reading and trying to come to some kind of conclusion as to what I really believed in as far as God, dying and heaven and if it really existed.  Up until this point I had studied all kinds of different theories and religions and reincarnation so I would say I definitely didn't believe you live you die you turn to dust but was really unsure of exactly what I did believe in.  So I began researching all kinds of different theories during the 5 years leading up to this experience.  I knew somewhat of near death experiences in that there were millions of documented cases and that one common theme to them was the person seeing the light but that was about all I knew of them at this point.  When I got back into bed after using the washroom I had one thought "gee dad I wish I could feel you hug me one more time" when I felt an instant change in the energy around me.  The energy surrounding my body started to feel rather electric.  At first I was rather nervous about how my body was reacting to this change in energy as it felt rather like having pins and needles but without the discomfort.  I found this electric feeling intensified and intensified to the point where it felt like my body was shaking rather dramatically.  The next thing I realize is I feel someone lay down beside me, I was laying on my side when this was happening and it felt like someone laid down beside me and put their arm across my thigh or in other words hug up to my body.  No one was there and my husband was on the other side of the bed sound asleep and my eyes were wide open as I kept reaching up to my face during this as I couldn't quite believe it was happening.  I immediately knew this was my dad so I actually started saying out loud "thank you thank you" as I feel this energy squeeze me.  I begin to actually cry tears of joy at this experience when for lack of a better way to put it I see my dad's face hovering above me and he literally pulled me out of myself.  I had amazing vision when this happened.  I could see myself lying in the bed at the same time I could see both my father and I surrounded in white light standing or should I say floating in this blackness, and at the same time I was looking straight into his face. So it seemed to me I had three distinct visions I could see all at the same time.  We were in this very very black place and he and I were bathed in this beautiful white light, floating in the blackness. I cannot adequately describe the love I felt, in this tunnel and in his presence.  It was complete and total bliss, it was euphoric, it was overwhelming and wonderful and joyous and I could go on and on, this amazing feeling I had.  Now I am fully crying tears of joy, I'm thanking him over and over again and during this entire event he never communicated one thing to me, he just smiled.  I also felt but did not see a friend of mine who had died 3 years prior to this and I said to my father "oh I see Kathy is here" which was acknowledged to me telepathically but I did not actually see her.  The next thing I know, it feels like I am being pulled very dramatically back into my body, very rapidly I whooshed back in and I see my husband looking at me very distraught and he kept asking me what is wrong with you what is wrong with you. While I had no concept of time I would have to guess that the entire experience from start to finish was no longer than about 3 minutes.  So I asked him what are you talking about as I was quite confused by what had just happened to me.  He said he woke up to find me crying out, he couldn't understand what I was saying but I was crying and I was sitting full up in bed with my hands outstretched in front of me with my eyes wide open and crying.  He asked me "Lynnia what are you doing" and I didn't answer so he asked again and I still didn't answer so he touched me.  It was when he touched me that I literally felt like I slammed back into my body. So I told him that I couldn't explain it right at this moment but to not worry that I would explain it to him in the morning.  We had coffee in the morning and I told him what happened.  When I described what it felt like, that most amazing love and bliss I frightened him so much by how much I loved it that he got momentarily afraid I wanted to right that moment go to the other side. While I told him I was no longer afraid of dying at all, I didn't want to leave him or our children, not just yet.  However, I made it quite clear to him that the feelings I had were not like any I've ever felt, even with him and our children who I adore more than anything.  Over the years since this has happened I've asked a million questions in my mind as to why I was so privileged and that is how I view this, privileged to have been given the gift of knowing without any doubt in my mind whatsoever that we live on, that we are love, the biggest love you can ever possibly imagine, and that we exist in another dimension.  I have thanked my father for this gift and told him several times in my meditations since this experience that he has taught me more in death than he did in life and for that I will always be grateful.  While this was not a traditional NDE, I did come out of my body and have never had anything like that happen since.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes     There are no words in the English dictionary adequate enough to explain the volume of love that was felt, the total bliss, unlike any feeling I've ever had in this earthly body.  Also I was so shocked by the experience I was very afraid to share it with anyone other than my husband who saw me acting strangely as I knew I would be greeted with great skeptisism and worried people would think I was a tad crazy.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          No      

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    The entire time, I was very aware of what was happening all around me and very alert.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:            The entire time, I was very aware of what was happening all around me and very alert.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  Yes     It was unlike my everyday vision in that it seemed I could see 3 different views all at the same time.

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
            Yes     Although I was not aware my hearing had changed, I did not hear my husband when he called out to me asking me what was wrong, twice.  I didn't hear any of what he said to me at all.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Utter amazement, absolute unconditional love and a contentment like I've never felt before.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          Yes     At first when I would think about this I had no idea where we were.  I now believe I was in the tunnel with my father, bathed in light.  It looked like we were standing in a tube of light surrounded by the blackest black I've ever seen.

Did you see a light?           Yes     Surrounding us, not coming out of the tunnel per se, just encompassing me and my dad.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes     My father and I felt my best girlfriend Kathy who had died 3 years prior but I did not see her.  Neither one of them communicated anything to me, but my dad just emanated love and joy to me.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No       I did not experience anything to do with my life or a life review.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No      

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?           No           

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     I knew the space I was in was different. I didn't feel like I was in my bedroom and I have never seen a space that black before.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Uncertain            At the time I instinctively knew this was a huge gift I was being shown. This is why I was so grateful and just kept saying thank you thank you as I just knew this was a rare and special occurrence that I still wonder how I deserved over someone else.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No      

Did you become aware of future events?       No           

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     Yes     Over time I became to realize that I have psychic gifts which is part of why I believe this happened to me in the first place.  I've had them all my life and have kept it very secret. Since this experience my awareness has gotten very strong and my keen sense of being afraid to share any of it no longer exists. It has been 4 years since this happened and I've since that time taken a psychic development course for over 2 years and do readings for clients.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     The only one who knew anything at first was my husband.  About 8 months after this I finally got brave enough to share with my mother and my sister.  My mom said nothing at all when I told her and my sister got quite hostile.  This made me not tell anyone for quite a few years.  Now after taking many courses and having a much better understanding of things I'm not afraid to tell of my experience quite to the degree I was before. I don't share it with just anyone but I do share when the moment is right.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    Yes     I had a little knowledge of them but not much.  After this happened I went online to try and understand what it was that actually happened to me. I know I definatley had an out of body experience and I know it was totally real.

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real    I never doubted it was real, not once.  To me, if doubt creeped in which it rarely did, it felt like I was insulting this amazing gift I was given and my dad who gave it to me.  I remain baffled to this day as to the why of it all but not the fact that it happened.

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?            The entire experience was meaningful to me and remains with me to this day.  I view it as a gift, a very very special gift I was given. I never have doubts anymore about God or our existence after death not just because of what I experienced but the entire journey I've been on.  Why I was so privileged to be able to see my dad again after death when so many would want to have this happen to them, especially in the case of loosing a child I'll never honestly ever know.  I don't question the why anymore, I just remain forever grateful that it happened at all.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was definitely real    I am even more grateful than I was the day it happened these days.  As I said, it led me on a self full filling journey like no other. I'm at an amazing place in my life spiritually and now I strive to bring that joy to others. I rarely let what other people think influence me anymore and remain quite satisfied with what I know happened to me. Honestly I could care a less if anyone believe me now, I know what I know and that is good enough for me.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           Yes     As I said some people were downright hostile which made me very gun shy to share anything for a long time.  I'm not that way any longer and those closest to me don't' question me anymore.  Basically I asked my family to believe whatever they wanted that I was not out to convert them, just asking for their support not their judgments.

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?            Yes            I am not religious but I am very spiritual as a result of this and other things I've experienced during my lifetime.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No       Not to the degree of what happened to me this time.  I have had some amazing meditations and communications in the readings I do but I have never come out of my body like that again.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        I will always be grateful for the entire experience

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?         Yes    

Are there any other questions we could ask to help you communicate your experience?   I thought it was great.