Experience description:

My experience happened in September 1982. I was 27. I suppose I would classify it as a shared death experience.

My Father's family was Maronite Catholic from Lebanon. His Mother and oldest sister came here first, then his father follwed. He was 1st generation US-born. He was at best a nominal Catholic, in name only, while my Mom was 'rabid', a committed all-out Catholic. My mother converted to Catholicism from a checkered Christian background, to marry my Dad. As kids we only knew Roman Catholicism, nothing of Maronite. I was raised quite literally under the shadow of the church. Our house was but one house removed from the church yard, so we were steeped in the church, its traditions, and community. My brother even tried seminary for Junior High School to become a Catholic Maryknol missionary, but didn't follow through. I was 3rd of 4 children.

When I was 18 I had the first mystical experience that I remember, where I believe God answered my first deep heart-felt prayer. I was a depressed teen-ager, lonely, questioning existence. I sat in the middle of a field of tall grass, then demanded of God that if He was real, that he heal my eyes (I had worn glasses since age 12, hated them). The answer I got, more of a revelation than words, was, "Isn't it a miracle that you can see anything at all?! (I love science and gadgets so I knew the eye was a fascinating machine.) Do I have to heal your eyes for you to believe?" WOW! I knew it wasn't my mind, this was a communication from someone or somewhere else. I could only conclude it was from God. I felt utterly humiliated, having asked for such a selfish superficial thing, yet absolutely thrilled and elated that God had actually answered me! I put my glasses back on. Ha! And a hunger was born in me to find this God that spoke to me! That journey led me to join a Christian missionary group in 1975 where I met my wife, we travelled across the US and Mexico, and started a family.

Now my Experience. Some months before my Father's death, my wife and I decided, since we were living mobile in a small trailer, that we would go to Dallas, Texas area for my Mom's family reunion. Little did we know that my wife had been exposed to hepatitis B beforehand. After the reunion we went to Dallas to my parent's house. There my wife started to show signs of sickness: fever, yellow eyes, etc. My Dad refused to let us park our trailer in his back yard until my wife could convalesce. So we had to find a park to live in, my wife had to care for our 2 very young daughters while I went out to find a job, to work construction. We survived, but I was angry with my Dad. Not very long after this my Dad died suddenly while accompanying my sister to Los Angeles for the Miss Oriental USA beauty pageant. He was flown back to Dallas for burial.

Sometime during the funeral Mass, I said to myself that I should pray for him, even though I was angry. BAM! IMMEDIATELY I was taken up in the spirit! Suddenly, completely unexpectedly, beyond anything I could have imagined! I felt as if I were summoned to this tribunal-like encounter. There was almost no visual that I remember. Communication was telepathic. I felt as if I was standing at attention, but I don't recall having a body. The immediacy of the summons and the demand for response left me no time to wonder. I knew that I was set before God the Creator, or at the least before His representative. I seem to recall a light, but if so it was only a minor detail. I knew that my father was on my left side, though I didn't see him, I just knew. And that his head hung down and his hands were crossed in front of him like a detainee in bonds. I felt this was a special occasion, I was there for one purpose. The question was posed, telepathically of sorts or heart to heart communication, 'Well?....' I was being asked to give an opinion, a judgment on the life of my father. I said, 'I love him. I forgive him' and BAM I was back in my body and back at church! Short and sweet!

I hadn't thought about the ramifications of this meeting beyond the judgment of my Father, until I recently began listening to many NDE accounts. Someone mentioned a Shared Death Experience, and it seems like this could fall into that category. This gave me the urge to share my story.

I'm wondering if this was all for my Father's sake, or if this judgment was staged for my benefit? Did it really happen as part of the judgment of my father? Or was I simply given the chance to make things right with him and God after he passed? Did I need it to let go of the hurt? It did certainly help me do that.

How many times does a loved one, a family member or child get to put their two cents in to the life judgment in this way?

Why wasn't I shown around heaven? Or given the after death experience? I guess because I was not the dead one, my father was. It wasn't about me, or at least about my death. It was possibly for my benefit, but what I wanted to do in that moment was to benefit him. I remember feeling awe that I was called to show up for him.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   No 

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  No    

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?      This was a VERY short-term event, so, all of it.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal   I felt I was summoned, for a special instance, for this specific purpose. I was completely present.

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   This was not so much a visual experience, more just heart to heart communication.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   This was not so much an auditory experience, more just heart to heart communication.

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   No  

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   Awe, humility, introspection, love, concern for my father  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   No  

Did you see an unearthly light?   Uncertain   This was not so much a visual experience, more just heart to heart communication. I vaguely recall standing before a light.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
I felt or understood that I was in the presence of God or His authorized representative, and I clearly understood the question before me, 'Well...?' And that I was required to answer!

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   No  

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   Yes   My recently deceased Father.

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   No  

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
I can only describe this place as a situation for judgment of my father. I can't even describe it as a place as much as a situation. I didn't see much more than a light, thought I knew an entity was before me that represented God, and that my father was on my left hand side though I did not turn to see him. I just knew.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   No

Did you come to a border or point of no return?   No

Did scenes from the future come to you?  No 

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   Yes   I was summoned to testify for or against my father. I understood that he was alive and that his future was somewhat dependent on my judgment, though there was no hint as to what effect my testimony would have on him or his future. I did not question the appropriateness of my being there, I simply and obediently, in Godly fear, answered the question, 'Well...?'

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   Again, I was summoned to testify for or against my father. I understood that he was alive and that his future was somewhat dependent on my judgment, though there was no hint as to what effect my testimony would have on him or his future. I did not question the appropriateness of my being there, I simply and obediently, in Godly fear, answered the question, 'Well...?' the question was posed to me by someone with the authority to call me out of my earthly existence into the spirit world, so had my utmost reverence and attention.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   Yes   My answer to the question posed to me regarding my judgment of my father was 'I love him, I forgive him.' So in that sense I believe that my admission of love might have helped him but definitely helped me to overcome my own emotions of anger.

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   No  

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   Yes   It was the only time in my life that I can admit to perceiving information other than vocal, visual, or in a dream. The communication was through ESP or telecommunication.

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience   The word tribunal continues to come to me now as I describe these events. The entity that had the authority to summon me or my spirit, and have my father's departed spirit together in front of this tribunal I interpreted as God and treated it as such. So it was not beyond what I might expect.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience   After 42 years it is still very clear in my memory. The only vague part of the experience was my perception of any light

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   I think I remember feeling surprised that I was called on to testify for my father, now it seems like it was possibly for my benefit to forgive him. It did cement my belief in the afterlife, heaven, judgment, etc. at the time.

My experience directly resulted in:   Slight changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?   No  

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   No  

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?     I was glad I got the chance two tell him I loved him and also to forgive him. I was happy and relieved that that episode was over. I was not informed as to any effect it might have on his further life in the spirit though I am glad to have released him from any consequence of my bad feelings. I was already in a very spiritual work, so it did not affect me at the time. It means more to me now as I am able to reflect on it and consider the ramifications of the event.

Have you ever shared this experience with others?   Yes  I think I told my wife right away, but in her usual form she didn't show much reaction or emotion.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   Yes   I was aware of Doctor Moody's book Life after Life, and of the possibility of NDEs, but never had one or knew anyone who had or studied much about them. My experience was so immediate and short term that I didn't have time to connect it to any part of my life besides my relationship with my father.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   I knew for sure that it was real and valid. I never had any doubts about that, because I knew that I was not in any altered state of mind through drugs or duress, but that it was something that definitely happened to me.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real   I knew at the time and I know now that it was definitely a real event that happened to me. I never doubted it nor had a reason to doubt it.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?      No

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   I was fairly certain of the existence of God before, but afterwards I was absolutely sure.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   No  

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?   none

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   Yes   Yes thank you. There were aspects of my experience that I had not considered until now.