Experience description:

My boyfriend at college gave me a joint which he had laced with mescaline and did not tell me. I was not a drug user.

Within a few minutes of breathing it, I saw myself with an out of body experience sitting on the bed wondering how I had gotten to this point in life and realized I was not in control of where I was going in life. In a few days, I started to get depressed and cried for no reason. I had one experience when I looked at a pillar and it was not solid but a mass of electrons and I realized the world we live in is an illusion that we see as solids when everything is actually a mass of energy. Even though the drug had worn off within a day, it proceeded to cause a condition that was later diagnosed as Psychotic Paranoia and Depression.

I left college and drove home four hours for Thanksgiving. After a week, I was suffering so much mental pain and paranoia that  I asked my parents if I could sleep in their room with them. They said 'no' and I replied, 'I am going to will myself to die because I cannot bear it anymore'. That night as I sat on my bed, I caused myself to almost die by just using the strength of my mind. I started to zoom through a black tunnel at an exponential speed and it scared me because I could see no end. But as I went through it, I had the most inexpressible joyous feeling like nothing one can experience on earth. There was no one in the tunnel but me. At that point my spirit telepathically communicated with God and said 'If you want me to die, I am ready, but if you want me to go back (since I was so young) I will and I will live for you'. Now I have to say, I had no idea what that meant especially in light of the fact that I had searched for God and could not find a way to Him a few years before this. So when I thought about going back, my spirit pulled back into my body and I was still sitting on the edge of my bed. The extreme paranoia had left me, but I was still in a depressive state.

My parents were so concerned that the next day I was taken to the family doctor because they thought I would commit suicide which I would never do. Then 3 days later we went to a mental rehabilitation clinic where they gave me a shot of an amphetamine and the depression instantly lifted.

When I returned to college a few weeks later after Christmas I searched for all the possible religions being offered from a small Indian man called the Maharaja Guru to Christianity. I decided the most comfortable one was Christianity through Campus Crusade for Christ. Since then I have had a long history of trying to live a life worthy of God. Because I have experienced what the start of a passing from this life will be, it has comforted me to know that when I do die, it will not be a fearful experience, but one of inexpressible joy in God's presence.

The experience of flying through a black tunnel occurred again when I attended a Transcendental Meditation session at my college later that year. We were meditating on love. As the leader said meditate on love in the universe, my spirit or mind started to zoom through the same dark tunnel at the same exponential speed. It scared me so that I pulled myself back out of it.  Later I told the instructor about it and he said that gurus spend a lifetime trying to reach that state and I was very lucky to be able to do that. The feeling of joy I had from that tunnel experience stayed with me for over a week and I felt like I was walking on a cloud with no care in the world. Unfortunately, it did not last any longer than that. But I wondered for decades if other people had ever had this type of experience. It was only when I went to the library in 2007 and checked out every book I could find on the subject that I discovered people from all over the world had similar experiences, so I was not the only one.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   Uncertain  It was my choice to die due to unbearable mental pain

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes     Most people cannot relate to how a person's spirit can talk for them as mine did. It was not my conscious thoughts or words that were spoken to God. It was strictly from my spirit that was somewhere deep inside me. I still have no idea how I willed myself to start leaving my body and that is the most difficult to express in words.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?      At the middle of my passage through the black tunnel.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal   The consciousness was on a different level. It was telepathic communication with God.

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   I only saw black and no colors

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   there was only me communicating telepathically so no sound was made

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   No  

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   Inexpressible joy  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   Yes   I started down a black tunnel at an exponential speed. I saw  no end of the tunnel but was somewhere in the middle when I was given the choice to go back. As soon as I thought of going back I returned instantly.

Did you see an unearthly light?   No  

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
My spirit communicated telepathically with God. What it said were not my thoughts as it said if I returned 'I would live for God'. I have no idea to this day exactly what that meant.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   No  

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   No   

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   No  

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   Some unfamiliar and strange place
Yes, the black tunnel

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual
The speed I was moving was well beyond any speed that one would move on earth. I felt like I was leaving the universe to some other place.

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   No


Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   No


Did you come to a border or point of no return?   I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life
I was only 19 and had an entire life ahead if I returned.

Did scenes from the future come to you?  No 


During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   Yes   The realm I was heading to in the dark tunnel I believe was my being leaving this earthly realm in some form of energy that was still me and the feeling involved of extreme joy was also something not possible on this earth. It had to be that there was ahead another level of existence, but I did not continue on the journey there. I came back.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   Yes, my spirit independent of my own thoughts, communicated telepathically with a higher being I will call God. And stated that I was willing to pass from my present life to the next one that I was heading to (which I thought was going to be death, but then is death just the departure point from which we go to another place?)or that I would be willing to go back and live for God. I believe the answer was to return because that is what happened as I thought about how young I was.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   Yes   I learned that there is inexpressible joy in the next place we go after this life.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?   Uncertain   Perhaps because my spirit said that I would be willing to live for God if I returned, I felt that this was my purpose on earth for being here, or a debt I owed God for the price of living.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   Yes   That we are to love God and live for him.

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   No  

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   Yes   My purpose if I returned to earth would be to live for God.

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience   Prior to this in my teens I believed there was a God but could not find a way to reach him. I had proclaimed not to believe in God when I was 16. I was now 19 and learned that there is definitely a higher being I will call God and that we can reach him but we are not to give up, but to continue spending time in prayer and praise.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of th   It was a turning point in my life and defined my future lifestyle and direction.

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   After having given up on finding God prior to this experience, I was now told by my spirit that I was to live for God if I returned to this life on earth instead of leaving it. So I had to search to find a way to God and continue to this day. He is hidden in this life and inside our being. My life became a spiritual walk after I searched for God when I was 19 years old. My faith has continued to develop. All my decisions are determined by my spiritual discernment, I have had spiritual healings and live my life in the power of my spirit. I used to be timid but I have become bold through the years and share my belief in God with others, and tell them how my life was changed and set on a different course than what it would have been without this experience.

My experience directly resulted in:   Large changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?   Yes   I now am assured that God does exist, He is not easy to find, but I should not give up but continue to seek Him, pray and worship Him while here on earth. My values of living holier and of using my spirit to determine my decisions instead of just using my own common sense came into play.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   Yes   I have had words of knowledge for people and prophetic information especially the first few years after this occurrence. I also have developed my faith and have had 2 major spiritual healings, one overnight. At one time I seemed to be able to access information similar to omniscience about things that I knew nothing of prior. I also had promptings when people close to me were ill or in trouble.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?     I believe that because I had searched and could not find God prior to this, that God allowed me to have this experience to assure me he does exist on a very universal platform that is beyond our world, and he gave me my purpose to live for him since I felt I was a person without direction and understanding that I can create my own life and not just let life take me on a journey where I have no control.

Have you ever shared this experience with others?   Yes  When I first told people about how I became a Christian, they did not reply and never told me if they believed me. They just said nothing. No one ever challenged me because they knew I was honest. I had several person I know of who believed as a result and became a dedicated Christian. I have given my testimony many times and don't know the full outcome of that.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   No  

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   The miracle of losing my paranoia was very real as I no longer suffered mentally, but was not completely myself either yet. I did not feel like I wanted to die anymore.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real   My encounter with God was very real, healed my paranoia, set the stage for how I would live my life which is still my daily was of living. Now that I know others have gone through the same dark tunnel and have experienced the same joy, it just confirms how God can use this to communicate with us.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   Yes

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes, as mentioned I became a Christian who lives a spiritual life, who determines decisions by my spirit and who at times gives words of knowledge and prophecy from my spirit to guide others. I also have had faith in healing both for myself and exercised with my patients later when I became a Chiropractor. I pray, worship in church and spiritual principles in the Bible as well as direct direction from my spirit guide me. I have heard the voice of my spirit talk to me several times when I was trying to make a big decision. My belief is that there is life beyond similar to what the Bible espouses and that we are to live a holy life with the grace of God that will affect us in the next life.   Yes

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   When I went to a transcendental meditation session and focused on loving. When we were prompted to meditate on loving the universe, the experience of speeding through the black tunnel started again. I was unsure of whether I would die if I let myself continue to the end so I pulled myself back. But the extreme joy I experienced once again in the tunnel continued for a week or more.   No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?   Yes

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   It was short and sweet and I told all there is to tell.   It has done well in compiling other people's experiences, albeit somewhat different than mine since mine was a self-induced or self-willed dying experience.