My recent experience began as I was laying in bed worrying about everyday stresses and I began having, what I call, a panic induced heart attack. I was extremely stressed out at the time and was having an anxiety attack when my right  forearm began to hurt. I had never had heart problems so I began to check my pulse, which was sped up but very steady. Suddenly, my body seemed to go numb and...poof....I was out of my body looking at myself from behind as I lay on my bed face down. I don't recall being pulled away but the next thing I remember I was in outer space and I was moving with a purpose. I was only bewildered by this for a brief moment as I almost instantly felt like I was "home". I compare it to walking back into your house after forgetting your keys. I was going to do something but wasn't putting much thought to it since it seemed to be such a simple task, like going inside to get your keys. As I traveled, I passed others, all of whom I knew yet most of whom I've never met in "this" lifetime. At one point I passed someone who appeared as if he were teaching a class. There were maybe 20 "students" there who were heads down either writing or reading something. I also perceived that the "teacher" was "God". I use quotes because it seems the word God is a human expression and it's not what our souls would use to refer to him. Before you ask, no...I do not know what we might call him. As I was passing this "class" he looked at me. He didn't look at me with overwhelming love, he wasn't welcoming me in any way, he just looked at me like you might look at someone who was walking back into a house to get their keys. That being said, I want to be clear and say, there was definitely the feeling of unconditional love shared by all and I believe the "overwhelming" love others feel is due to their confusion at the time of their passing and other soul's understanding of this. I think the overwhelming love people report is other souls projecting and magnifying the love shown to make the transition easier...if that at all makes sense.

 I then proceeded to what appeared to be my residence...the center of a sun or some other great ball of light. Inside was like a room with some type of screen for viewing events in my life and every other life I've ever lived. From here I could view any past experience from any of my millions of existences and actually relive the scenario at the same time and location of the original event. It was, in fact, the original event. At this point I re-entered my body when I was 10 years old and changed something very usual I had done, like kicking a rock or something just as mundane. I don't remember exactly what it was that I did, simply because it wasn't important. What was important was seeing how that action rippled throughout my life in other choices I've made and continue to make to this day. Unfortunately I can't be more specific as this all happened at an incredible rate of speed and even though it lasted a period of 10 years it was over in the blink of an eye. Then it appeared as though I was done with what I had to do there and left my dwelling and continued travelling through space. The speed of travel was almost instant. I could just imagine a place and just as quickly, I was there without one increment of time having

passed. In this time I got to see many different solar systems, planets, galaxies, comets, asteroids and many other things I can not even begin to name or describe.

 I then came to a place that seemed to be where souls were created. There were millions of pods of light, almost egg-like, somewhat transparent and quite bright. Inside were two beings or souls, as far as I could tell, and from underneath these orbs were beams of light shining downward to nowhere in particular. It was much like the cone of light a flashlight might emit. Occasionally from these orbs a smaller orb would appear and travel downward inside the beam of light, off to an unknown location. I knew this to be new souls being born and didn't take the time to think of answers to questions that my human body might ask. At the time I was experiencing this, my human form on earth was far removed from my thoughts as were the questions humans might have about this spiritual existence.

 Now I'd like to point out, if at any time during my story I seem to be unclear of what I was witnessing, like the use of the term "seemed to be" or "appeared to be", it's because that's my human form trying to recall what I'd seen. When I was in soul form what I was witnessing was very clear and I understood all of what I was seeing. I had no questions for anyone....only answers. At the same time, no one I encountered had any questions for me, but all had the same wealth of information and knowledge. Everyone knows one another, loves one another and coexists with perfect harmony.

 I also realize my story has contradictions. Why would "God" be teaching a class when everyone knows everything? My answer to this would be, he wasn't. I feel I was shown that as a way to explain "who" I was seeing and not so much "what" I was seeing. Our souls have the uncanny ability to manifest themselves in ways to appear to freshly passed souls as something familiar. This allows us to feel comfortable when we are the most confused about what is happening to us. I believe this explains the tunnel, the bright light, the overwhelming feeling of unconditional love, the seeing of "dead" relatives and things of that nature. This is done only to calm our souls after the transition and only until we "remember". Our souls have taken this journey many many times and the newer a soul is, the longer it takes them to make the transition from body to soul. I was aware during my experience that I was in fact, a very old soul. I've lived millions of existences and died many different ways and have made the transition so many times that I didn't need to be "welcomed" like many others need to be in order to feel comfortable. Like I stated before, it was like I had forgotten my keys.

 In summary I guess I will ask myself some questions and try to answer them.

1) Did this change my life?

   No, I am still a human being on Earth named Kurt. I still live with everyday stresses, am still depressed about these things even though I know everything will be alright.

2) Did this change my mind?

   More than anything has ever changed my mind before. Before this experience I was a self proclaimed atheist that believed death meant "lights out". I now know this to be untrue.

3) What did I learn about our existence on planet Earth?

   We're living this existence completely opposite from how we should be living it. We live in a society of prosecution and punishment when we should be living in a world of compassion, love and understanding.

4) What does this mean of religion?

   In my experience, religions praise themselves and damn others. This is wrong. It is not "God's" wish to prosecute others for their beliefs. Instead we are to try and learn from other's religious beliefs, understand them, and know that just because their books are different from ours we are all still headed to the same place. We will all experience the same love and compassion from the same "God". I also want to state, the battle between religion and science is quite silly after my experience. Our souls are all about science. Everything about our spirit world has to do with science. After all, we live in outer space, we can travel at/or beyond the speed of light and on top of it all we can achieve time travel. Seems a bit scientific to me. Our souls are light and our souls are life.

 I'm sure I could ask myself more, but I feel like I've been writing for hours and I'm getting exhausted. This has been a huge weight lifted just knowing that my story is getting out and hope to start some type of correspondence with anyone having had similar experiences. Like I said I've only told a small number of people my story and feel I should only share it with people at certain times according to the situation at the time. (I know that's a little vague, but it's hard to explain...I know in my heart when someone needs to hear my story.) I hope my story is a comfort to others and would like to personally thank the NDERF website for giving me a place to vent my experience. This experience has been an "enlightening burden" and quite honestly, almost a curse. To be shown such a wonderful existence and thrust back into one as miserable as this is almost a cruel prank. I don't have all the answers for this life and know I had to come back to this life for some reason, I just wish I knew what that reason was. I still feel I have so much to tell to so many different people. So much so, that I can't seem to stop writing...lol.

 So let's try this... 

   THE END....for now

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes     seemed there were things our human brain just cant comprehend

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Uncertain            severe anxiety

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    the whole time

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:            the whole time

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  Yes     I would say field of vision was greater and I could see much further

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?            No      

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            mostly calmness and unquestionable love....absolute freedom

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          No      

Did you see a light?           Yes     there was no bright light like most people describe, it was rather like I was the light

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes     I briefly encountered others I knew that had passed and some that are still "living"

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    Yes     I went back to when I was 10 and relived up until I was 20, I saw myself do something mundane when I was 10 and saw the ripple effect it caused up until I was 20. it showed me how everything I do has an effect on not just others but on decisions I make daily...difficult to explain

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No      

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?            Yes     outer space

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     unlimited space...time is irrelevant...our souls don't use time. time is a human concept

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Yes     I seemed to know everything about the smallest particles to the largest celestial bodies and everything in between....there were no questions

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No      

Did you become aware of future events?       Uncertain
            nothing specific, I just came to understand that earth in it's current path is doomed and only a complete change with cooperation from everyone could change this path. I also understand that since there are so many people on this planet with different views of right and wrong, that this "change" is highly unlikely.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     Uncertain      I seem to be able to connect with others with more than just words. almost like I can feel their feelings...like our souls become tethered together....very hard to explain and it's only happened twice since my experience

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     only 3 others

my brother, he seemed to think I was crazy and only wanted to dispute what I saw