Kelly O Experience
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Experience description:

CONTEXT: Since I was very young, maybe 4 years old, I had always been terrified of death. Not dying, but what happens after. Panic attacks would set in, and I had trouble controlling my breathing. This continued until just recently well into adulthood, I am 37 now. I had been going through a 2 year long non stop existential crisis, and as a skeptic who was agnostic in religion, I was having a horrible time dealing with it. I scoured the internet for comfort, and was found a lot of posts claiming there is nothing at all when we die - my biggest fear. In fact it wasn't until recently that I found this site, and the NDE site that I finally began to calm down. The stories people generously shared of their experiences calmed me immensely. As a skeptic, I needed proof. And with proof in this topic being nearly impossible, being able to read thousands of accounts of different people experiencing otherworldly encounters that all share a common theme, many when clinically dead - this was proof enough for me. I finally began to feel ok again, and could carry on with a happy life raising my two very young daughters.

Now even though I was over the worst of it, I would still plead in my head via messages, thoughts/prayers, however you see it. I had never been religious nor have I been anti-religious, just somewhere in between. But I would still plead - "show me a sign - anything PLEASE to show me there is life after death". I did this for months straight - no signs. Nothing. I felt foolish talking to myself, out loud or in my head only to be met with nothing. Recently however, my boyfriend's grandmother passed away. Extremely sweet lady, he loved her with all his heart. I told him if he would like, he could ask for a sign from her - maybe she would respond. That very night, he got several prominent signs that carried onto the next couple days. I was shocked - trust me, as a skeptic, this was huge. I was happy for him, but at the same time a little sad because my calls for help or signs remained unanswered. Maybe I wasn't worth the effort I thought.

I persisted with the requests for signs, each day still getting nothing. Until 1 week ago - I was sleeping and having a dream. In it, my 1.5 year old daughter was sleeping in her crib, in the same room as me, and I felt an evil presence hovering above her crib. An odd aura of light was also hovering. Again - this was in my dream. In the dream I started to panic and started to think/pray in my head "Leave my daughter alone, if you are evil or negative - you DO NOT have permission to be here!", the presence remained and thickened, so I started to panic and aggressively thought/prayed "Leave her alone now - you are not welcome here!" And this is where it took a HUGE turn, I did something I had never done before - I asked God/Jesus for help. I have never specifically prayed to either, I never fully believed. But in this dream I prayed and said 'God...Jesus... please! I give you my heart and my soul, please....' and I was cut off.

Now this is the part that startled me. I woke up completely from that dream to a full body mild vibration, I had never felt anything like that before, and I woke hearing the words 'Ahhh...do not worry'. The voice was crisp, but there was a background noise that was a mix between white noise, and the sound of being underwater. It was a male voice, and had a heavy accent. The voice was calm, but assertive. It startled me because I knew I was dreaming before hearing the voice. But the voice -- this was NOT part of the dream. After I requested God/Jesus, I instantly woke up, my eyes were open and I could see my room. I heard that voice in 2 ways - physically as if spoken directly into my ear (I audibly heard it), and internally. Tears ran down my face as it happened and the evil presence I had felt in my dream was gone.

I couldn't fall back asleep after that, I had never in my entire life experienced something this powerful, something so... out of the ordinary. I couldn't stop thinking about the accent, and decided to do some google searches. 'What does God sound like? What does Jesus' voice sound like?', I would hit dead ends and the results would link me to text stories about talking to God through prayer. It didn't help me identify the accent. I figured if I heard what he may have sounded like - the accent, maybe I could decipher if it sounded like him, or maybe something completely different. I finally googled, 'Did Jesus have an accent?' and found that his accent was Aramaic. I did a video search on what that accent sounded like, and my heart stopped - THAT was the accent. I had never in my life heard that accent before, up until then. All this time asking for signs, all my life not knowing what to believe, all these years spent terrified of the void.. and now this. I truly believe Jesus spoke to me. I am no longer agnostic, my fear of death is practically erased. I feel unworthy, yet honored at being gifted the message he gave me. I believe he knows I am a worrier, he knows I deal with panic attacks. I was in a desperate mindset and called out for him by name, and for the first time in my life - devoted my soul to him - and he answered me. I will cherish that for eternity.

 Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?      No     

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words?          No     

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event? Uncertain     It started as a dream, then continued and finished while awake. The dream led me to believe my daughter was in danger.

 What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?    I could 100% differentiate the difference between the dream half, and the awake/conscious half. The awake half was more vivid than I have ever experienced.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?  The dream part was, yes. I clearly knew that part was me sleeping. The part where I was spoken to - that was not at all dream like. It was the most aware I had ever felt in my life.

 Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?   No     

What emotions did you feel during the experience?          Startled at first - I was not expecting to be spoken to. Immediately after, happiness, relief, shock, amazement.

 Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?         The voice, his accent. The background noise being that of a mix of white noise, and underwater.

 LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?         No     

Did you see a light?        No     

Did you meet or see any other beings?         No     

Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state?         No     

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No     

Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different? Yes    Feeling of touch - I felt full body vibration. Sound/hearing - more vivid and real than I have ever heard. The voice sounded like it was spoken into my ear, as well as through thought at the same time.

 Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  No     

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?         No     

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?           No     

Did you become aware of future events?      No     

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?          No      Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         No     

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?     Yes    Before this, I was agnostic. A skeptic. I had never attended church, read a bible, or prayed to a specific God. After this, after requesting Jesus and to my belief of him answering - I now identify as Christian.

 How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?   I purchased my first ever bible, King James edition as recommended by my sister. I try to be more kind in life to others, the environment. I am more thankful of the gift of life.

 Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes    I am more optimistic and caring.

 Have you shared this experience with others?       Yes    I woke my boyfriend up immediately after this happened and told him what I just experienced. He knew I was struggling with existential dread, and he says "I told you! You have nothing to worry about". I also told my sister, she was shocked as well and told me that I am extremely lucky, many people ask to speak with Jesus and haven't had a physical reply. She also told me what I had is considered a testimony.

 What emotions did you experience following your experience? Amazement, gratitude, happiness, safe/protection.

 What was the best and worst part of your experience?          Best part was Jesus answering my cry for help, even though I hadn't been loyal to religion for my entire life. Worst part: none.

 Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience? I love all of you - I may not know you. But I love you. Thank you for reading my encounter, and thank you to all who have shared theirs.

 Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?       No