Jonathan M's Experience
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Experience description:
I had gone to
the beach with a high school friend, Randy, his sister Christine and their
mother. I was swimming with Christine far enough from shore to not be able to
touch the ocean floor. She swam back to shore as I stayed out to swim a bit
longer. I began to swim toward the shore when a large wave struck me from
behind. I panicked as I was thrown about and finally driven hard into the ocean
floor. I was knocked out for about 5 seconds � when I opened my eyes I found
myself resting on the ocean bottom about 6 or 7 feet below the waves. I could
see blood in the current coming from my nose and could taste blood in my throat.
I was laying on my stomach and had a fistful of sand in each hand.
I began to
relax and watched the sand slowly slip through my fingers and back to the ocean
floor. What had been total panic only seconds before had given way to an
overwhelming feeling of peace. The cold ocean felt warm and comforting suddenly,
and I was thinking about how easy it would be to die. I was feeling like I was
leaving my body, yet not losing consciousness. Suddenly I was seeing my life in
brief flashes. Then I was standing in my friend Randy's kitchen watching his
mother in tears as she talked to my parents on the phone. She felt totally
responsible for my death and was grief-stricken. I could hear her say how sorry
she was, that if only she would have been watching or had seen me go under it
wouldn't have happened. She was crying much and I felt horrible for her. I
suddenly realized I had to live and didn't want to do that to her. I had
endured a difficult childhood with mental health issues and abuse. Quite
frankly, I was ready to let go and die.
Within that
moment, I pulled my feet under me, planted them in the sand and pushed off
toward the ocean surface. I came out of the water and immediately back into the
panic of trying to catch my breath. It was odd how everything seemed to go
backwards from panic, to calm and back to panic again. I was almost taken under
again by another wave then I could see Christine on the shore screaming and
running back into the water toward me. I made it to the shore with a
badly-bloodied nose and welts on my face and chest. Christine told me she saw me
go under and became scared when I failed to surface right away. I went back to
our towels on the beach and Randy's mother looked at me very concerned because
of my scrapes and bloody nose, but never really found out how close I came to
giving up on life. I tried to play it down a bit in front of everyone, but knew
I just came very close to death and felt changed by it.
Any
associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the
experience?
No
Was
the kind of experience difficult to express in words?
No
At
the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening
event?
Yes
Was
knocked unconscious while swimming in the ocean
What
was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?
Was
unconscious for only a few seconds then I was awake.
Was the
experience dream like in any way?
No
Did
you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?
Yes
Did
you hear any unusual sounds or noises?
No, only the
sound of the waves above me.
Did
you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?
No
Did
you see a light?
No
Did
you meet or see any other beings?
No
Did
you experience a review of past events in your life?
Yes,
A quick
review of my life.
Did
you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience
that could be verified later?
Yes,
Described above
Did
you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or
dimensions?
No
Did
you have any sense of altered space or time?
No
Did
you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or
purpose?
Uncertain
Just
knowledge of great sympathy for my friend's mother if I had died.
Were
you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?
Yes
Not
wanting to hurt anyone or cause pain due to my death.
Did
you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience
that you did not have prior to the experience?
Uncertain
Since
then I've had lucid dreams on a regular basis. And predictions of future events
through dreams
Did
you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
Uncertain
How
has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices?
Career choices?
A great
appreciation for the fragile nature of life.
Has
your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?
No
Have
you shared this experience with others?
Yes,
Mixed
What
emotions did you experience following your experience?
Shocked that I
was so willing to consider death as an option
What
was the best and worst part of your experience?
Just a good
change of perspective.
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life,
medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
No
Did
the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively
describe your experience?
Yes