Jo S's Experiences
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Experience description:
I'll start with the
second dream. I was at my grandparents' house, not the one dying, but the other
pair who lived just up the hill from them. I had a dream that I just thought was
always a dream. There was (and I now have in my own house) a picture of a
guardian angel above the bed next to mine I liked to look at. In my sleep I was
in a dark woods. It was very dark. And there was a tree and it was iridescent,
perhaps a willow tree of which an angle-like being came out. Then the tree
transformed to more like a huge stump and the angel, I think female, rose up and
I could see how immense she was. She was in white light and I think she had
wings but it could have just been aura. Then she picked me up and I felt like I
melted into her energy, a brilliant bright light that did not hurt my eyes. I
felt a love I had never felt in my life. I don't know how long I was there, time
was not in my awareness, but I woke up and it was morning. And I tried
desperately to go back to sleep into the dream. I did fall back asleep but I did
not go back to her. I had a regular, cold dream. I was deeply moved by the
experience but thought it was just a dream, though one of the 2 most intense
dreams of my life, but a dream nevertheless. I was not raised in any religion.
My father was actually anti-religious (recovering Catholic). But I did know very
simple things from occasionally attending church with my grandmother. But this
angel being was not like any angel I imagined from Catholicism. Years later,
when I read NDE accounts I was so floored by what was said, because it sounded
so much like the love intensity and light I felt. This mixed with the first
dream floored me...
The other dream I had
that was deeply intense was earlier, I think I was about 5. I had a lot of
falling back into my body sleep jolts as a kid, so feeling like I was falling
was a common feeling. In the dream I was with my brother who is 2 years older
than me. We were on a mountain, like in Pennsylvania, wooded and filled with
brush. It was fall moving into winter, and the sky was gray and the colors very
faded and brown. It was windy and I had on a jacket. I remember leaning over a
cliff and just lost my balance. I remember falling frantically for a more
sustained period then my short waking up falls. I don't remember ever hitting
the ground. Next thing I know, I was in the most beautiful, spectacular garden
with a white brick path and carefully pruned grass. I think there was a river
at the edge, but I didn't focus much on that. The colors were so brilliant, and
I felt such a sense of peace and joy. There was a small piano that was rainbow
colored. I think there was a bird bath and birds, maybe bunnies too. I wanted
to stay but I couldn't hold onto the image eventually. That's all I remember.
Again, I thought it was just an incredible dream and I often went there in my
mind to feel peaceful and safe after that. I always assumed it was like a fairy
tale dream. And dreams often move from one situation to another without logic.
But years later I heard others talk about NDE and the brilliant colors or the
landscapes or gardens and the intensity of love with a beautiful being and it
occurred to me that my dream may have been from a memory or astral projection.
I went into the spectacular garden after I fell off the mountain and didn't hit
the ground. It was definitely a dream, but it had so many elements of NDE, from
being saved from the pain of the fall to the intense feelings and colors. And
then I read that children almost always see angels in NDE and small cute
animals. The way the experiences are described is so much like my two
experiences. Then after the following experience I wonder if I astral projected
in my sleep...
Years later I believe I
had an OBE when I was in my early 30s that felt like I woke up from a dream and
I was floating above my body in my room, just as my room really was. I was
reading a book about having OBE and so wanted to have one. I'd had lucid dreams
but they were dreamlike. This didn't really feel that way. I felt like a little
point of consciousness, like a floating eyeball. It felt like I did when I just
woke up and was kind of hazy at first after being woken up. I looked toward my
mirror but could not focus on any image. It was dark. Then I remember moving
back over my body which I had no real attachment to looking at it, like it was a
stranger, and thinking, "Holy fucking shit, I'm doing it. I'm doing it." I had
what felt like an energy surge but without the physical adrenaline rush (maybe
like being on the drug, Enderol - no organs to pump adrenaline) and I was kind
of scared but thrilled. So I decided I would hover myself out to the middle of
the room before I came back. I remember thinking, "ok, a little more, a little
more.. OK!" I was kind of scared, so I released and dipped down to the floor and
was pulled back up onto the bed into my body head first. Then I went blank and
back into sleep. It was the middle of the night.
Any associated
medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?
No
Was the kind of
experience difficult to express in words?
Uncertain
somewhat
At the time of this
experience, was there an associated life threatening event?
No no,
but like I said, my grandfather may have been dying around the time of childhood
drams. I was always a little psychic and sensitive. And my childhood was
stressful to me. My OBE was soon after a big heart break.
What was your level of
consciousness and alertness during the experience?
Asleep in the two
dreams. The OBE came out of sleep but I felt like I woke up and was in the
room.
Was the experience
dream like in any way?
Yes with the dreams,
though very intense. Only thing that felt odd with the OBE is I couldn't
remember which direction I was sleeping on the bed. I could have sworn that I
was sleeping the other way, but it was dark and kind of hard to see at that
distance from the ceiling. I did sleep both ways. I learned later from a Robert
Monroe book that his astral vision sometimes turned his body around (left and
right side opposite). I'm just not sure.
Did you experience a
separation of your consciousness from your body?
Yes
In the dreams I was so
transfixed by the image, I don't remember being aware of my body except that I
felt small and I felt like I had a body. I definitely felt a separation in the
OBE.
What emotions did you
feel during the experience?
Angel dream was the
most intense love I have ever experienced. The garden was just peaceful and
intensely joyful. The OBE was kind of thrilling and scary.
Did you hear any
unusual sounds or noises?
I don't
remember. I don't think so. In the garden I think I heard birds.
Did you recognize any
familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or
encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?
Yes
The being of light I
thought was like an angel from Christianity. But the woods and garden did not
seem familiar with what little I knew about religion.
Did you see a light?
Yes
with the angel
Did you meet or see
any other beings?
Yes
Just with the angel.
Did you experiment
while out of the body or in another, altered state?
No
Only experimented with
moving myself during the OBE.
Did you observe or
hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be
verified later?
No
Did you notice how
your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different?
Yes
Vision in garden
dream was much more intense, brilliant colors not earth-like, almost cartoon-ish
in brilliance.
Did you have any sense
of altered space or time?
Yes
I wasn't very aware of
time.
Did you have a sense
of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
No
Did you reach a
boundary or limiting physical structure?
Uncertain
Did you become aware
of future events?
No
But I have in other
dreams and moments.
Were you involved in
or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?
Yes
Just with the
OBE. I wanted to go back, but I didn't expect it to feel like just a strong
pull, like I was attached to a rubber band.
Did you have any
psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did
not have prior to the experience?
Uncertain First two
dreams were early in life, so I don't know if I had psychic experiences before.
I do remember knowing my dearest duck was dying 300 miles away (I was visiting
my grandparents) and my mother called and was going to tell me she was dead.
But that was after the first garden dream and not sure with the angel dream. It
was near the same time I think. My early psychic stuff was around preparing for
trauma. Later it branched out other experiences.
Did you have any
changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
No
Except the OBE,
I felt I believed it more. But I was looking to believe it. But I'm a real
skeptic and need a lot of science and "proof," so I'm not easy to believe
things. But this was too experiential. Years later with time I wonder if it was
a dream, but I remember really feeling convinced right after it happened for a
number of years.
How has the experience
affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?
I'm less afraid of
death and I want to know more about the nature of consciousness. I was already
a therapist and musician with this bent, so it just enhanced my careers. I am
interested in growing my awareness more and more.
Has your life changed
specifically as a result of your experience?
Yes
My life changed
more gradually as I became more aware of the implications for a profound, new
"reality." It's my main interest along with music.
Have you shared this
experience with others?
Yes
I shared with my
husband and good friend. They are just like me, open but with mild, healthy
skepticism. They are both very spiritual people.
What was the best and
worst part of your experience?
Best was my surge in
faith of an afterlife. Worst was that I have never been able to have an OBE
again. It was like beginner's luck. I keep trying.
Is there anything else
you would like to add concerning the experience?
no
Following the
experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or
substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
No
Did the questions
asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your
experience?
Yes
I believe so. I
tried to be detailed.