Experience description:

This night began as any other night with me taking my shower and climbing into bed. My husband works different hours so he was still awake and out in the living room watching TV. I remember feeling very drained all of a sudden and while I normally have to read to get sleepy, this particular night was different. I couldn't wait to close my eyes and drift off to my little fantasyland of dreams. It wasn't long into my sleep that I felt a summoning. Someone was beckoning me, calling me by name only I could hear it psychically, not actually.

I opened my eyes and I was no longer in my bed but floating towards darkness, upwards and higher than earth it seemed to me. I could see no lights but one and I kept flying upwards toward it as it seemed to be calling out to me. It was only seconds when I reached him. He was dressed in what appeared to be a long gown with flowing sleeves. His hair was dark and midway down his back and shoulders. His arms were outstretched as if he wished me to go into his embrace. For a moment I hesitated when he spoke without speaking out loud "it's ok, come to me and let me hold you child." I floated into his arms and he wrapped them around me and held me gently. I held him back, wrapping my arms tightly around his waist. I wanted to cry it felt so good. He never said another word, he just held me there as if he were trying to comfort me. I had never felt such pure energy or happiness or love like this in my entire life. It was as if he were melting into me and me into him. I told my mother later that week that if there were words to describe it, they would be a soul orgasm. I wanted to stay in his embrace for the rest of time. Forever and eternity. He was so comforting and the love he felt for me was SO unconditional that I knew how much he loved me and I loved him the same way. I wanted him. I needed him. I didn't want to ever leave him. This embrace lasted for what seemed to me hours, but I believe it only lasted minutes.

I awoke with a jerk as if I were out of breath. I came up off the bed like nobody's business and my husband was standing beside the bed. He said he had been trying to wake me for 15 minutes but all I was doing was crying and moaning and saying things in a language that sounded to him like gibberish. He said I had a huge smile on my face. I suppose this experience scared him because when I tried to explain what had happened, he shrugged it off as some sort of 'wet dream'. "Honey, that was no wet dream I had! It was real and whoever he was I hope he comes back," was my response to him. Now, I do not know any foreign languages so who knows what I was saying. All I know is it changed my outlook on life here on earth. I wanted to feel that again and would pray every night that whoever he was would come back and hold me every night for the rest of my days. It has been nearly 4 years and he (who or whatever he is) has not returned. I can say this much though, if he is my future after death, I cannot wait to get back there! We humans, while we may be here temporarily, have no IDEA (some anyway) what a wonderful magic there is waiting for us.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     No

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes

There are no words to describe what I felt, not earthly words anyway. I have tried to explain it to my husband, my Mother, even my children and even a few friends and the ONLY person who seemed to know what I meant was my Mother who is very spiritual and herself has seen a vision of the 4 Horsemen when she was an older teenager.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          No

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           I apparently was in a deep sleep, however, I felt very awake and very alert and all of my senses were working overtime.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   at first, but not during. If it was a dream, my husband should have been able to awaken me. He was very near calling 911 but hadn't because I was breathing just fine and appeared to him to just be having a very pleasant dream.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Uncertain

It felt as if I were merely energy but that is my opinion

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            EXTREME love, devotion, unconditional love..the feeling of a blending of two souls into one in order to feel the other as whole and as also part of the other.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           rushing wind in the beginning, but only leading up to the event

LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?            Uncertain

It was dark, it was night, there were only he and I....I felt nor saw anyone else

Did you see a light?           Yes

His...which surrounded his body

Did you meet or see any other beings?           No

Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state? No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? No

Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different?          Yes

all of my senses were working overtime...EXTREMELY intense feelings of touch, hearing (though not with ears, with soul), eyesight, but not taste nor smell, nothing there

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Uncertain

not sure how to answer this, it was really unlike anything I can put 'time' to. Altered space...definately. Certainly wasn't of this world.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Uncertain

I only knew that he loved me and I loved him and that one day we would be together for eternity...this was not said, it was implied by the embrace and the loss I felt when I returned back and woke up

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?             No

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?       Uncertain

he released his embrace and I was back in my body in that instant, not too happily I might add

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         No

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes

I know there is more to life than this physical body. I felt the proof of that. I don't need anymore proof.

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       for a long time, it messed up my sexual relationship with my husband and it messed up my daily life because I knew that what I felt, I would never feel here in this body. There can be no comparison to total psychic bliss. I tried to recreate it with my husband, with my thoughts, but to no avail. I eventually, SLOWLY, began to realize that I am on this earth for a little while and that something like this cannot be realized here in this body that has so many limitations. I learned from it...though I still long for that moment...

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         No

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes

disbelief mostly, with the exception of my Mother who fully believed my experience and told me that encounters with angels and such are rare but not unheard of. She encouraged me to begin a journal but I have no other additions at this time to add to my journal. :(

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  a sense of great loss, a sense of great peace, a sense of longing that has never actually gone away

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      the best part was how I felt in his arms, the worst part is remembering it

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        no

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    no, but it sure feels good to have an open forum to communicate my own experience with others who don't think I am crazy. :) Thanks :)