Experience description:

During the time that I had this STE I had been having extreme migraine/headaches causing tension in an area where I had once been hit in the head and gotten a minor concussion. I went to many doctors during this time but they said it probably wasn’t caused by the blow to the head I had the year prior. The migraines were so painful and constant, and so extremely debilitating, I was worried that I would have to suffer the rest of my life with the chronic pain that did not go away, I could not bring myself to continue with life. I was suffering from severe depression, anxiety and suicidal ideation. I was sleeping for complete days, not getting out of bed and having many panic attacks. I had also lost my appetite and lost 20 pounds because my body was refusing to eat any food. Chewing felt like a chore to me and I could not bring myself to do it. I would wake up each morning shaking. I reached a breaking point where I was screaming and crying yelling for God to be here for me and help me because the pain and anxiety were so debilitating and unbearable.

Then one night I had a strange dream unlike any other I have ever had. It was like space and time were no longer the same and did not move in the linear way it did in the real world. It was like one giant image except I was a part of the image and experiencing it at the same time. And what I saw was a bright white shining light, like the sun, and this although I had no clear knowledge of what it was, I instantly in my heart or soul interpreted it to be God or the source of all creation. In this image of time that I existed in I had no physical body or awareness of having a body. I saw this image as if I had eyes and was inside of it although I had no awareness of having eyes to look at it through. The light was so beautiful, it was as if looking at the sun but there was no warmth or temperature, and it did not bring any pain to me to gaze upon it although it was so bright. When I woke up I felt as though I had been revealed some secret truth but could not remember it at all, although I had this strong sense that I was told something. I remember thinking maybe it meant I would be okay.

Since having that dream my anxiety has been more manageable and my chronic migraine have gone as well as my appetite returning. When I heard about near death experience I realized that the light many people see was exactly what I had saw in my dream, and that I too recognized in my dream that light to be 'God' or the essence and creator of everything. Since having that dream too I have been struggling with continuing in this world, and am on a search to find out how to keep living or what the purpose or revelation of that dream was. I just keep hoping that when I die I will be welcomed by that same bright light where all is well and there is no pain.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   No 

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes     It was hard to describe because it felt so different than existing on earth, and I had feelings that I could not describe afterwards about how or what I experienced or felt.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?      During my dream I felt aware, but when I woke I felt as though I’d forgotten some of the experience as I had a feeling of being revealed something but could not remember what.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal   It was different as during my dream I felt I had Ben reveled truths and that the area I was in was the true essence of creation, unlike this life which felt like an illusion.

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   My vision was very clear and I could see a light that was bright that looked like the sun but it did not hurt my eyes, also I had no sense of having eyes even though I could see the image very clearly.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   I could not hear anything during the experience.

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   No  

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   I felt peace and wonder. I felt very calm. My earthly life no longer mattered to me.  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   No  

Did you see an unearthly light?   Yes   The light looked just like the sun except it was mostly white and was radiating very brightly.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
In this state I interpreted the light as a being who was what could be called 'God' here on earth. I interpreted the light of a being of creation.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   No  

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   No  

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   No  

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
I was in a place with no time and seemingly no space not in the same way that space exists on earth. This realm was only a bright light which I interpreted to be god and myself although I did not have a body or sense of self.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
There was no time in this place, no movement or sequential order. Everything existed all at once.

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   Everything about the universe
In this dream I had a feeling of understanding or revelation but could not remember it when I awoke. When I awoke I interpreted it to mean that everything would be okay.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   No


Did you come to a border or point of no return?   I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
At this point I felt I would be there but eventually I awoke although I had been completely content and satisfied with being in that space. After waking I feel as though I was sent back against my will.

Did scenes from the future come to you?  No 


During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   Yes   I felt this awareness that I would continue to exist not as myself in this world after death but with the light of creation I viewed, and that everything would be okay.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   I saw this beautiful light that looked like the sun which I understood to be God. It was so real and unlike anything I have experienced in my life that I am sure I had an unearthly experience that 'God' or this source existed separate of me in some other realm or dimension that would someday be accessible to me.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   Uncertain   I felt as though I would someday return to that source or that I had been a part of it or would be, which in retrospect makes me feel as though that is the true form of things and not this earthly body.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   I felt I existed in a realm that is more real and true than the realm or body we live in on earth.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?   Uncertain   When I awoke I felt I had been revealed something but I could not remember it, but based on the experience I felt it was like a sign that everything would be okay.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   No  

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   Yes   I felt like I had been revealed truths of purpose but could not remember them when I awoke.

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience   I am agnostic so I am open to many beliefs but cannot say for certain that I truly believe in one thing because science has yet to prove an afterlife but I am hopeful that something can. Because of this I cannot say that the experience aligned with my beliefs entirely.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I do not know how my remembrance of the experience compares to my remembrance of other life events that occurred around the time of the experience   The image felt very clear and real and my feelings in that experience I can remember, but when I woke up I felt that something else had been revealed to me which I could not remember.

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   Since then I have been having a hard time adjusting to the experience of life instead of being at one with the light. But despite this I feel a great desire to do the best I can to live in a way I can be proud of and spread love, I have been overly aware of my interactions with people and compassion I feel towards them.

My experience directly resulted in:   Large changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?   Uncertain   I am not sure I feel as though I am more aware of my actions and existence in general.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   No  

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?     When being in the light I felt that I was at the true nature of all things with the being that created everything and that I would be okay. Even though I feel fear and wish I could be in that state again I try to remember the image of the sun like light and remember the calm I felt.

Have you ever shared this experience with others?   Yes  I shared this experience a few weeks after I had it with my mother and boyfriend. My mother believes I saw God. My boyfriend thinks it’s interesting but hasn’t said anything about it he believes it was a real experience. I shared it with a friend last week and she said it was interesting but did not mention much about it probably due to feeling uncomfortable about the subject matter since it makes me seem a little cuckoo

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   Uncertain   I feel like I had heard about it but not researched it, mainly I had heard most about reincarnation stories.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   As soon as I woke up I believed my experience to be real. Although with my body and brain I feel a little uncomfortable and try to rationalize it I have this deep gut feeling that what I felt was real and that I had a glimpse of 'God' or what we humans would call God that intervened so that I could keep living as I was in debilitating pain and starving myself from my sickness.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real   I feel like I would like to rationalize it but the experience left such a vivid feeling unlike anything I have felt that I feel in my gut it was real. However it has also made it hard to experience every day back in this body but also given me an appreciation and compassion for other people and always wish them the best in their life and also wishing they too can know that everything will okay.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   I am unsure if my relationships have changed but I feel a lot more compassion for people even people who before I would’ve hated just because of differing beliefs.   Uncertain

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Uncertain   I am uncertain if my beliefs have changed, as I know rationally there is no definite scientific explanation of an afterlife or god, but my experience felt so real that I feel uncomfortable with a gut feeling that I truly experienced that other realm of reality.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   No  

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?   I think we just need to love each other and try to do our best every day. And maybe we will all be together again in that same beautiful light no matter what earthly differences we have.

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   Yes   I think I explained as best as possible I could’ve as it is hard to explain my experience with language.

What could a national organization with an interest in near death experience (NDE) do that would be of interest to you?  I would love to hear more about people who have had ste or nde that saw what I saw.




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