Eric L's Experience
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Experience description:
I believe
it was mid winter when the experience happened. I myself being under great
emotional strain due to severe depression which spawned from complications from
my Cerebral Palsy was simply laying down in my room for a nap. My frame of mind
was one of turmoil and loathe, I remember wishing for death and deliverance from
the constant pain that I was dealing with. This unfortunately wasn't a rare
occurrence at this time, but I truly believe that my wish was granted this
night. It was
night and the sky seemed more vivid then I'd ever recalled it being and I felt
strong and calm there was no sense of my disability or any limitations, I felt
at ease looking into the sky. The next thing that happen was in the sky to my
far left there came a hole or void that seemed to open silently from the sky.
All I remember feeling was that I was going home and this is where I was
supposed to be. Then a whitish glow or energy embraced me and was pulling me
towards the void, which was now a cascade of turning soft pastel colors.
Suddenly I
was in this "tunnel" I first noticed a great radiant light in the distance that
seemed alive, radiating a great warmth towards me as I approached slowly down
this tunnel. I felt indescribable I felt totally free, no worries, no pain, no
regrets, no sadness just perfect peace. I do remember in the distance and
becoming more clear was multiple shapes of what looked like to be shapes of
people, they where radiant with golden hues and curious stares. And then the
moment that I noticed them I seemed to have stopped my descent and then I felt a
huge sensation that I was falling. The thing
I remember next was my body jerking very hard like in a dream when your falling
and you wake just before you strike the ground, this woke me in a rush. But the
most curious thing happened as I awoke I distinctly recall hearing a very
comforting, soft voice in my ears saying "It is not your time". I heard this
for at least 3 mins after awaking. It took me 3 years to tell anyone about this
It was just to hard to fathom but when I did tell my Mother I got a string
surprise. I told her about the "people I saw and explained how one of them look
and she told me that it sounded like I'd described my great grand mother that
passed away before I was born! So I do believe that this experience was real
and genuine. And no body can make me think other wise.
I was laying there trying to relax when the feeling of calm swept over my entire
body. At the time I thought I was merely drifting off to sleep, but it quickly
became more then that. While laying on my bed and enjoying this "calmness" I
begin to feel my self drift away, like the feeling of detachment. I remember in
one instant out of the dark that I then realized that I was looking down at
myself. I saw myself laying on my bed and my room around me, oddly I don't
recall ever being afraid. I felt at peace and weightless, there was no sense of
pain or sadness. While I seemed to be floating about 4 feet above my body I
then remember being pulled up through my ceiling and stopping just above the
roof of my home.
Any associated medications
or substances with the potential to affect the experience?
Uncertain
I was on multiple
anti-depressive and anxiety drugs prior to the experience but this has never
happened before or again while taking the medications.
Was the kind of experience
difficult to express in words?
Uncertain
visually I could and can recall
what I seen in detail but emotionally it was or still is hard to define in
words. It was too grandiose in feeling to define in words and still is.
At the time of this
experience, was there an associated life threatening event?
No
What was your level of
consciousness and alertness during the experience?
I felt fully aware and even more
conscious then I might be even awake.
Was the
experience dream like in any way?
Only when I just lost
consciousness.
Did you experience a
separation of your consciousness from your body?
Yes
My appearance was like mist
very light and I seemed to have the feeling that I was flowing through the air.
I felt stronger then I ever felt before and oddly older. I seemed to be as of a
light mist, with a whitish coloring. That's the best that I can describe it.
Did you hear any unusual
sounds or noises?
I think I remember hearing a light
low hum in the void.
Did you pass into or through a
tunnel or enclosure?
Yes
Describe:
Yes a "tunnel that was the
color of beautiful pastels that rotated in a counter-clockwise slow motion.
Very large but soothing like I knew this place.
Did you see a light?
Yes
A very brilliant radiating
light in the distance that seemed to be and feel alive. Very white.
Did you meet or see any other
beings? Yes
They seemed to be at the end of
the tunnel, I don't recall recognizing any of them. They seemed to just look at
me, very unimposing.
Did you experience a review of
past events in your life?
No
Did you observe or hear
anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be
verified later? No
Did you see or visit any
beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?
No
Did you have any sense of
altered space or time?
Yes
The experience itself felt like
it lasted for at least 3 minutes, but when I awoke I had been in my room for
over 4 hours.
Did you have a sense of
knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
Yes
I came to know the transition
from this life to the next, at least for a brief time.
Did you reach a boundary or
limiting physical structure?
Yes
I remember seeing what looked
like two hands in the distance that I knew when I saw them that I would not be
able to pass. They seemed to symbolize that I couldn't pass. If I did I would
not come back. I knew this I don't know I how I know it I just did. Beyond
them rests home. That's what I felt.
Did you become aware of future
events? No
Were you involved in or aware
of a decision regarding your return to the body?
Yes
As soon as I saw what I
believed to be "hands" I knew I'd had to return. I was saddened and some what
angered because I wanted to stay in this peace.
Did
you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience
that you did not have prior to the experience?
Uncertain
The
only thing that I see now that is different that wasn't different before my NED
is that I am able with good accuracy read and profile one's feeling and
personality. I seem to have a ability to "know" the person and figure them out.
Did
you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
Yes
My
root beliefs haven't changed but I did and have become angered because I felt
that that peace and comfort was taken away, and I yearn for it. I took it as
beauty and also as a taunt.
How
has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices?
Career choices?
I find myself
wanted to work in the fields of pediatric psychology working with the disabled.
I have become more opened to things now that the experience has really set in.
More open to love and compassion.
Has
your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Yes
I
know now that Death itself is nor death or ending its transition and I know that
I am here to help the children of disabilities with coping with life and
society.
Have
you shared this experience with others?
Yes
My
parents and one other. No change as accrued with them to my knowledge
What
emotions did you experience following your experience?
A great sense
of understanding and enlightenment mixed with anger and sadness.
What
was the best and worst part of your experience?
The best was
the peace and alleviation, the worse was having to come back.
Is
there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?
There is
something just beyond our vision and reach. There is a higher conscious.
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life,
medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
No
Did
the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively
describe your experience?
Yes
Yes.
This is the very best that I can possibly describe the inducible in words. The
questionnaire was very helpful.