Ellie M's Experience
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Experience description:
I had been taken to the hospital following the accident. The doctor
checking me out decided I needed stitches in my knee, and I got hysterical about
it. I was left alone in an examining room until he came back to sew the cut up.
I sort of zoned out. I
was in shock from the accident. Then I was outside my body, looking down on it
from the upper right corner of the room. It looked like this thing that had
been tossed aside, like my Raggedy Ann doll dropped in the corner (that was the
analogy I used describing this experience, when I was still a child). I felt no
sense of connection to it... it was just an object.
Then a woman appeared
beside the bed. She didn't come in, she was just there. She was blurry, she
didn't have any distinct features. I used to describe her as "looking like a
genie:" female on the top, and just fog below. She looked at my body and
smiled, and then she vanished.
I would like to say
that I had some sense of her identity as my mother, but I don't, just that she
was definitely female. I think she was, but that's something I concluded later,
not thought at the time. This all happened before I learned that she had died.
The next thing I can
recall is having my knee stitched up, from the normal vantage point of being in
my body.
But, the experience
seems so... random, and so unlike anything else. Plus my sense of where I was
watching from, and the angle of the room, is the clearest part of the whole
thing. I was up by the ceiling.
Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes It feels as if my brain is translating something
essentially outside my normal perception, into memories that are only an
approximation of what happened.
At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event? Yes I had been in a rollover car accident which killed
my mother, who was driving.
At what time
during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and
alertness? Hard to say. I was in shock and not mentally all there.
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience
compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness? Less consciousness and alertness than normal
If your highest
level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from
your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:
Hard to say. I was in shock and not mentally all there.
Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any
aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception
degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)? Uncertain The person I saw wasn't solid, or have a completely
human body. I don't think sight is really now I perceived her at all but I don't
know another way to describe it.
Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any
aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness,
etc.)?
Uncertain I didn't hear anything that I remember.
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? Yes
What emotions
did you feel during the experience?
None, or if there were any I repressed them-- I don't remember a
whole lot about that day.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?
No
Did you see a light?
No
Did you meet or see any other beings?
Yes Only as described above
Did you experience a review of past events in your life? No
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your
experience that could be verified later?
No
Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or
dimensions?
No
Did you have any sense of altered space or time?
Yes Absolutely. Both. I felt like I had stepped out of time's normal flow,
off to the side of it. I relate the experience as if it happened chronologically
in a certain way, but some part of me feels like that's not true... that's just
how I have to describe it, because we live in time and space.
Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or
purpose? No
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No
Did you become aware of future events?
No
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the
experience you did not have prior to the experience? Uncertain I like to think I do, but I don't know if it's
related or not. Around thirteen I started to experience what I named Vox. Vox
is, seriously, a little voice (figuratively speaking) or a collection of them
inside me, which talk to me sometimes about spirituality, the nature of
existence, and my purpose in life. This isn't quite as lofty as it sounds, and
I'm not insane either. But they sometimes chime in with things that I wouldn't
necessarily conclude on my own.
Have you shared this experience with others?
Yes I do remember telling my father about it when I was ten or eleven. He
was in the car during the accident but not seriously injured.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your
experience?
No
How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it
happened:
Experience was probably real I wish I remembered, but I don't. I think I
began to recall it a few days later.
Were there one
or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to
you? In
truth, part of me feels that my experience wasn't significant-- it was sort of a
cosmic accident. I wasn't meant to learn anything from it, it wasn't a turning
point in my life.
How do you currently view the reality of your experience: Experience was probably real Well, now I know
that shock can cause perception to be significantly altered, and I was a child--
my mind was much more flexible than an adult's. I could have invented the whole
thing.
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your
experience?
No
Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your
experience?
Yes
I'm
less afraid of death.
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life,
medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
No
Did
the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and
comprehensively describe your experience?
Yes