My mother was a very kind and compassionate person her whole life. Her passing was quite extraordinary. But that's another story. But let me just say that when she was dying,  I asked her if she saw the light and she nodded yes...and when I told her not to be afraid and to walk into the light because it would heal her, she glowed....literally....like a halo appeared around her....and her eyes turned sky blue (they were hazel) and her skin was like a babies pink skin and everybody including the hospice nurse who was present....saw it.

     The hospice nurse said that she had attended over 200 deaths and never saw anything like it. She fell to her knees and wept and said she would never walk the same again and called her husband to bring her 4 month old baby to the house so that he could be in the presence of the miracle that she saw. Even my brother, who, like my father, was very cynical about spiritual stuff and believed in nothing but the here and now....saw it. And when she passed there was the most amazing smell of flowers...roses....in the room. This is all true. There are 4 witnesses. My dad was sleeping on the couch at the time and missed it.

Okay, now the after death contact. I've had quite a few and kept notes of them fairly soon after having them. Some appear to be more about my psyche than about my mom....but she is in all of them.

The first one:

6 weeks after mom died I dreamed she appeared to me very happy and said "look at me, I am brand new, it's wonderful" and she was in a doll shop being made over, new arms etc that could move 360' in any direction, she did splits and cartwheels and was so happy .... brand new. I was so happy to see her. 

the second one: One year anniversary of her passing......Aug. 15th 2000

I dreamed mom visited me and tried to talk to me but the words weren't coming through, but it still felt so nice to be around her - it left me with a good feeling. When I awoke I realized that I had forgotten it was the first anniversary of her passing and felt like she was reminding me not to forget her.  

the third was about a year later....2001

I'm holding my daughters hand (in the dream she was about 5 yrs old although in real life she was 31) and my mom's hand as we were climbing up stairs and I have to let go of Moms hand for a minute to keep holding daughter's and mom falls down the stairs.

I go back downstairs to look for her but can't find her anywhere. I go to look through the whole house and come to a white bedroom with light streaming in the windows and a body in a white shroud on the bed with a ribbon tied at the feet. I realize my mom is in the shroud and am very upset she is dead. How could this have happened? I get in the car and go to McDonalds and see a highway patrol officer with military type hat and tell him about mom falling down the stairs and then the next thing I know she is dead and I am so upset and he points his finger at me and says "you, you are guilty of negligence and leaving the scene of a crime" and I say no no and wake up and am confused.

Then I relate his comment to the fact that mom's gravestone has the wrong birthday on it Oct 18th instead of 19th. My dad didn't think it was important enough to have it corrected. He probably told them the wrong date anyway. I also realized I hadn't been to the cemetery in over a year. I started to go again and planted a flower garden by her grave. She loved flowers. I really think it was her way of telling me, don't forget about me.  

The fourth was in 2003

I walk into my home, but it is not my real house, and I look around and think that there are improvements that can be made, like a skylight etc. My mom, who happened to be there at the time, just went and tore the place apart. She tore down the curtains and the ceiling which on closer inspection turned out to be moss. I was so angry I actually screamed I hate you at her, which really upset me because I love her so much, and she just shrugged and said "but you told me to do it" and didn't really react to my hysteria. I was so upset I just wanted to lay down and go to sleep and ended up going outside, because the inside was in such disarray, and lay on the sidewalk and fell asleep. From a distance I could hear someone saying "get up move", and they got closer and started to kick me gently in the side, nudging me, saying "you can't do this, go inside", and when I looked up at him he was a very old Chinese man. I kept resisting. I just wanted to be left alone. 

The fifth dream was Nov. 28th 2004

I'm in a nightclub like the Copa, sitting at a table in a booth with my Mom.  I ask mom to dance, leave my handbag on the seat. She is wearing 1940's style brown rayon/silk floral pattern dress with beige & salmon in the print, and brown flat shoes which was unusual because she always wore heels when she went out. Her hair is brown, short-ish, like a bob, and she looks so sweet and young. We start to dance, partner style, but we are unsure what dance to do.

I twirl under her arm a few times, but I never really get a good turn under it because it seems like we are not exactly in sync. However it is a very delightful and lighthearted feeling I am having and she is laughing and smiling.

We start to do the lindy hop step, like when I was a kid and we used to dance together, and we did a bit of it but we never really got in step together. However, it was still an absolutely delightful experience the whole time. Just to be holding her hands and seeing her smile. It was like she was saying it's all okay, just keep dancing, you'll get it right soon. Like when I was a kid and we would dance and I would miss a step and she would always say "don't stop...just keep dancing and you'll get back in step". She never actually spoke in the dream....it was all eye contact.  

The sixth dream  2005 April 26

I dreamed was in a car with my dad, and my mom was in car behind following. Dad goes too fast and mom can't keep up. She gets stuck at red light and dad keeps going. I scream  to slow down so mom can catch up but he won't and I scream I want to get out and ride with mom, I have to protect her. He won't stop and I scream I hate you at him and he looks at me sort of wryly and says you hate me?  

The seventh dream  May 5th 2005 dream

I enter a house with my dogs and my Mom, who died five 5 and a half years ago, is with me also, and I notice a very faint outline in the air above us in the room and it's the outline of a lizard, primitive aboriginal style with the four legs outstretch and the tail curved to the right and it hovers above us, but very 2 dimensional. It is almost the same color as the air around it except slightly darker.

At first I am scared and think it is some alien visitation and the dogs bark at it. It's hard to discern, as it is just a faint outline and you actually have to look hard to see it, but after a few minutes I determine that we are not to fear it, and in fact are to just take it for granted and accept its presence. It is not harmful and even though it did instill a bit of fear at first, once acclimated to the fact that it is there and you really don't have  to see it, you only see it when you look for it, makes it appear benign. My mom seems very nonchalant about it too. I awake from the dream thinking it's a good omen. 

That was the last time I saw my mom in a dream. At least that I can remember. 

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:    I heard her thoughts....not her voice. I saw her but I really never heard her voice.

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  I'm not sure how to answer this because I heard her thoughts.

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           no

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   no

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            Yes

We held hands when we danced and when we were going up the stairs.

            Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar?   familiar

            Was anything communicated by the touch?  yes, love

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?  no

Did you see the deceased?         Yes

Younger. She appeared to be in her 30's.

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            remembering this was in a dream state......she was very real and solid.

            How much of the deceased did you see?       The whole body.

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       she appeared much younger.

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            She appeared healthy, happy and beautiful....except in that one dream where she fell down the stairs and then I saw her in a shroud.

She had advanced Alzheimer's when she died....she couldn't speak or move on her own.

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           no

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      Yes

            What smell, scent, fragrance or odor did you smell?           Not in the dreams, but in real life when she passed there was the smell of roses.

            Is there any possibility that the smell, scent, fragrance or odor was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?        no

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         being that they were dreams, they were sudden.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

Happy. At peace with everything....very relaxed.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  in each dream I was given information of some sort.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           Because when my mom died there were 3 other people in the room who saw exactly

what I saw. A hospice nurse, my cynical brother, and the live in aide.  That's why I so believe the dreams I had of contact with her were really contact with her - just in a dream state.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   Yes  I was sleeping....dreaming or visioning....whatever you want to call it.

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           Unfathomable love for my mom. Just love. That was what she was about in real life anyway.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

In every dream there was a message to help me with my own personal growth.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      Seeing my mom pass into the light was the best.

Missing her still is the worst.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Yes     It affirmed my belief in an afterlife and that the most important thing in the world was love. It can transcend everything. Also, that God is light and

that light resides in all of us and when we pass, that light (like my mothers halo when she was passing) joyfully returns to it's source.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Joy at seeing her. Sadness that she wasn't with me still.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           Uncertain  The dream contact wasn't but the experience of my mother's passing was.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         No

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?            Uncertain  In a few of the dreams there were others.

Did you see a light?           Yes  The one that emanated from my mom when she died.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     Most are amazed...and cry.  A few said they got scared.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           Yes 

Out of body experiences a few times....

when I was a child....before going to sleep, I had a few but would get scared by them. Used to have dreams that I was taken from my bed and went to another planet that was all white crystal where nobody got old and I could see the earth getting smaller and smaller as I would go there. Then I would worry about my parents, that they needed me and I would have to go back, even though I wanted to stay. I had these dreams between the ages of 3 and maybe 10...can't really remember when they stopped. 

As an adult....mostly when I was in my late teens and twenties I had a few more outer body exp. but they always happened when I went to sleep. I could look down on my sleeping body with my husband next to me....and fly about the house and see all the dust on the pipes by the ceiling. Once I flew out the window and went to a party where no one could see me. It's a good thing because I was naked.

I have had a few pre-cognizant dreams....I live a few blocks from the WTC and had a dream 10 years prior that two planes flew into them and could feel my skin burning and saw all the bodies on the ground covered in white ash. In 1979

I dreamed that I saw Christ emerge from the clouds and rise between the towers

with his arms outstretched (I could see the two towers from my front windows) and I am not a Christian. In the dream or vision ....it was more like a vision, but I was sleeping at the time....when I realized what I was seeing, I fell to my knees...my legs were so weak....and I couldn't find my voice....I just wept and crawled to the window and said "oh my god it's Jesus". I was so overcome by that realization....I just wept and wept and then when I woke up, I was so shocked that I had such a dream....being that I was brought up in a atheist Jewish home and had absolutely no interest in the judeo-christian religion. I was much more attracted to Buddhism and still am. I've had some really interesting dreams over the years....many of them were pre cognizant of events that did happen soon after. You know, like dreaming I met an old friend with a baby carriage and then the next day I would run into an old friend with a baby carriage. That kind of stuff.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Uncertain