Dolly's Experience
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Experience description:
It seems to me this was not a dream, rather a state of being. Yet I was asleep,
though with a clear sensation of being awake.
I could see my sleeping self and at the same time I could feel what the sleeping
person was feeling: I was in a state of perfect happiness, belonging to a level
different from that on which I am now living. I experienced the fulfilment of
one whose needs have all been realized, or who no longer has any needs. I felt
surrounded by an envelope of love, I seemed like a foetus. I could hear music,
but without its being "physical" music, and I was the one who heard it and also
the one who was asleep, at the same time. I was immersed in a bath of warmth.
With closed eyes I could see the light, but not the light we are familiar with;
it was a light with several dimensions. Throughout this state I had a sort of
awareness of my "earth" life, of those around me, my house, as if I could see
them, as if I could feel them, as if I was with them, but I was also aware at
the same time of another level. A voice, which was my own voice, strong and
gentle at the same time, said to me: "You see, this is what being dead is like."
(It was my interior voice which spoke to me, just as I awoke, not another voice,
neither during the experience nor at that moment).
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience
compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?
More consciousness and alertness than normal
Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any
aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness,
etc.)?
Yes. I don't remember having "heard" things, but had the feeling that all my
senses were receiving something original and special.
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?
No
Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words?
Uncertain. The impressions or sensations (were) not what one knows in ordinary
life.
At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?
No
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of
consciousness and alertness?
Right from the beginning until the end
If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was
different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please
explain:
Right from the beginning until the end
Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any
aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception
degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?
Yes, I seemed to be seeing with my whole body or with all my senses, not just
with my eyes. The light was nourishing in every way, as if it was able of
itself to fill all my senses to overflowing.
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?
No
What emotions did you feel during the experience?
An experience of serenity and the feeling of being fulfilled, as if I no longer
had any needs. The light was simultaneously love, food, warmth, tenderness.
Around me were vague presences, we were together. On waking up, I had the
frustrating feeling that I had not felt the smallest need, the least desire,
throught this unexpected experience, and at the same time I keep the memory of
something extraordinary, unknown previously or since, right until now.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?
No
Did you see a light?
Yes, something of the greatest possible luminosity, sparkling, as if this light
were broken into a multitude of stars. But I found myself "at the edge", at a
kind of limit, not at the center nor really quite inside.
Did you meet or see any other beings?
Uncertain. I knew that there was a multitude of presences, some of them members
of my family who had died, but all these presences were anonymous, they were not
clearly defined by identity; I felt them, but could not see them. All these
presences surrounded me and lived in the same light, experiencing no more needs
or desires. Nothing was said to me. I don't know if they were in "residence" for
eternity, or "waiting" to return to this life.
Did you experience a review of past events in your life?
No
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your
experience that could be verified later?
No
Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or
dimensions?
No
Did you have any sense of altered space or time?
Yes. No more notions of physical things, it was as if time or space had other
"dimensions" which I conceive more as "quality" than as "measure".
Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or
purpose?
Yes, I think I had access at that time to something natural, which I did not
question, but when I woke up I was aware of having lived through something which
touched on the very essence of the mysteries of life.
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?
Yes, I felt myself as at the "edge" of this world, but also "in the light",
since I felt something quite extraordinary. It was like being at the doorway,
without actually having crossed the threshold.
Did you become aware of future events?
No
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the
experience you did not have prior to the experience?
No
Have you shared this experience with others?
Yes, I told it straight off to a friend. She was not surprised, and it is she
who told me I had not had a "strange dream", which is what I believed on
waking... I don't think that I influenced her in any way, but I knew that I
could confide in her about my experience, which I myself had difficulty in
really seeing as just a dream, although I could not put this into words.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your
experience?
No
How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it
happened?
Experience was probably real, because when dreaming I only have familiar
experiences, ones I have in real life. I immediately made the distinction
between what I "lived through" in this experience and what I experience in
dreams or in real life; nothing was familiar or common.
Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or
significant to you?
The experience of fulfillment, of love which nurtures the whole being, which
knows every need in advance. I felt this light was the food of my whole being
and that it protected me against everything.
How do you currently view the reality of your experience?
Experience was definitely real. My memory of it is still as clear as it was then
and it has never been repeated. This happened 20 years ago, but the memory has
not faded, it is as if it is inscribed in my cells; this is less a memory than
something lived which is outside time.
Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your
experience?
No
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life,
medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
No
Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?
I went to sleep, to take a nap, and woke up without any other thing happening in
my sleep, or anyway I have no memory of it. My awakening was clear and sudden.
Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and
comprehensively describe your experience?
No. For some things it was clear, for others not sufficient. I don't think I can
really describe what happened.