EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION

My ex-husband died unexpectedly from brain cancer in 1992. I carried a lot of guilt for the way I had treated him during our short marriage and was deeply disturbed that time had run out before I could verbalize to him the way I felt.  Two months after his death I traveled to Saudi Arabia to work at a big hospital in Saudi Arabia. I was not particularly conscious of my guilt and had put it behind me as I occupied with the new culture, although it was always with me on some level.

One day, approximately a year after my husband's death, I had an astonishing experience. I was standing in my living room about 2 pm in the afternoon when I was instantly transported to another place. I was being led into a great hall with two females.  In the great hall there were hundreds of people milling around. They were dressed normally in average attire like you would see at any modern day gathering; albeit a bit more colorful I noticed. As we entered the hall we walked toward a man sitting on the arm of a chair. I realized it was my deceased husband. I walked up to him and said something to the effect of, "My God, Harry I thought you were dead. I must be dreaming."  He said, "Look I am fine, touch me." I touched him and noticed that he was young and healthy looking. I saw no gray, just dark brown hair and healthy skin. " I said to him, I must have dreamt you died." He repeated, "I am fine."  He didn't say so but the implication was clear that I was forgiven for past transgressions.

Next, I found myself back in my living room. I was still standing but my knees were shaky and I drug myself to the couch and sat down. I had no clue what the reality was. I thought of calling home but everyone would be sleeping in the US and would think I was crazy. After a couple of hours I tried to sort out what was real and finally came to the conclusion that my husband had really passed and I had just had an unexplainable experience. I've been wanting to tell my story for years.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?   No   

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words?   No   

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?   No   

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?   Wide awake

Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?   No  

What emotions did you feel during the experience?    Disbelief and confusion.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?    No

Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?    No   

Did you see a light?    No   

Did you meet or see any other beings?    Yes    Apart from seeing my deceased husband, there were hundreds of people milling around.

Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state?   Uncertain    Touch the arm of my deceased husband.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?   No   

Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different?    Yes    They seemed normal.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?    No   

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    No   

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?    No   

Did you become aware of future events?    No   

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?    No   

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?    No   

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   No   

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?    I have since remarried and I cherish my husband and try not to abuse the relationship as I did in my first marriage.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes    I try to contain my temper and my negativity.

Have you shared this experience with others?    Yes    My sons were stunned.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?   I felt a huge relief. I still wished I was able to talk to him before he died.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?    I definitely was not dreaming. I was standing during the entire experience. I think if I had been lying on the couch, I would have chalked it up to a dream.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?    No           

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?    Yes     For the most part.