Integration experience - you can see how the experience was described in 2008 and now in 2010

7/29/2010  Experience description:   

I left my body and flew to a place which was still, as if in the gravity of a first floor, before beginning an escalation into the gravity of life. It was a dark dimness.

I talked with some beings that told me I was in a total risk, vital, transition, but I could ascend further still and talk with someone who would decide if I would come back to my body or not. They said that the more I would ascend, there would be tremendous experiences and the possibility of coming back would decrease.

It was probable that the same beings who were talking to me now would bring me back. It was like a train station where many beings chattered and the colors of that dimension were brownish. Further away there were grayish entities that were helped by guides in order to definitely leave their terrestrial life. There was not any true color besides the tones from black and brown to white.

I saw people I knew on Earth who greeted me and continued their ascension.

The guides told me I was in the threshold of death. I wondered if the persons who were dying and leaving their bodies in that moment, knew where they were.

The guides that accompanied me were kind, tactful and VERY COMPLIANT, but impenetrable when certain questions were asked, and when they did, they answered with only a smile. The communication was by telepathy and they knew instantly what I was thinking, but their answers were essential, concise and certain.

My guides were very calmed, unadorned and with a tender sense of humor. It was then that the judgment began - only I was the one who judged myself.

Although they considered everything was evident, they allowed me to understand all the contradictions, actions, guilt and non-guilt which I was feeling from the events of my life. They comforted me with precise words and calmed me. When I felt within myself a violent dialogue, justifying or blaming myself, they made me understand that it was all within the game of evolution and that in the depth, the events of my life were intranscendental.

Then I had the sensation that I was still in a foggy place near Earth.

They told me I could take the decision to continue, but it was with a maximum risk for my physical body or life. Then, identifying myself with my Diego ego in the earthly realm, I accepted to continue since the guides were willing to accompany me. I worried because of the risk. Nevertheless I accepted discretely and humbly, although with the haughtiness of my Earth identity that wanted to have the experience. At the same time my cosmic conscience allowed me to take the decision without panic.

We then began to ascend at great speed without friction or effort, as when one is falling but instead ascending. I was in a state of reverberation - hearing a zooming sound and feeling a little dizzy as though in a car at great speed.

The guides then seemed to have disappeared. In that moment, I understood my panic. I asked myself if I could resist the situation.

Suddenly, with a great scandal of voices, I began to judge myself, to blame myself, to make decisions that belonged to their own code of existence. In that moment, everything was valid and excusable because it was understood that my own position was a small humble position in an open game of evolution. If other proposals seemed more valid, they were humbly accepted because in the depth, there was no real guilt.

After simultaneous cultural, legislative and theological ideas exploded within me, the answer of the guides was "intranscendence" and they pronounced that word with a smile. All the actions I considered so important were not so.

Suddenly, my mind was allowed to rest in a quiet place in order to further ascend through a translucent tunnel with a light that seemed rather a yellowish opacity. Then I saw many beings, some ascending, some descending. Two of them were known to me on the Earth realm and I had not seen them for more than 20 years. I also met people unknown to me then, whom I met many years later in their bodies on the Earth realm. I asked one of the two persons I did know, what he was doing there, and he told me he had had a very serious health problem, and almost died, but the health problem had already been solved by the doctors. This is the reason he was going back to his body. Nevertheless, another friend who was a friend of my family for many years, was leaving the Earth realm in a definite way, so was I told.

Then came some guides to take the friend who had been ill, back to Earth through a tubular shape in descent. I also observed other tubular shapes through which other souls were ascending, and among them, the lady known to me and my family whose body had died. I inquired if the lady could go back but they said her time was over and that she had definitely left her body. I felt the energy of the lady perturbed, because she was confused since she did not know she was dead, but I avoided meeting her. In that moment my guides smiled.

A different lap started in which the path was transparent, silent and compliant. I felt the pleasure of having my conscience in total calm, together with the tender but distant company of the guides and other entities which I could not see.

Suddenly I saw another path where all the dead members of my family appeared, among them my father.

I then entered another stage with a moment of unconsciousness, but I recovered quickly. It was as though I would have crossed a purifying sauna, plunging into unconsciousness but I soon noticed my consciousness was intact.

I understood I had undertaken a risk of no return and with repentance asked to come back because I knew I had already crossed the threshold of death. In that place, everything was brighter, although still not so much. I felt that only the identity of the affections I had for my family on Earth, motivated me to come back to my body.

I had then a slight, but vital sensation of unrest and anguish, because I again understood I had traversed the threshold, so I asked my guides for an answer. They told me that the decision did not depend on them anymore because we found ourselves in realms that were not of their reach. The answer made me feel dazzled. I asked them if they could keep on accompanying me because I wanted to have a dialogue with someone, and they kindly accepted. I felt a nostalgic abandonment. I later had the sensation that they took my hand.

We then shot ourselves out at a great cold, mentholated speed with acute cosmic sounds, pure and deep echoes and the brilliance of a light - so white, almost metallic -  in which I felt we flying within an agreeable and refreshing wind. There were warm and exquisite odors and suddenly a fog. And a flat floor on which I saw the guides standing.

From the white fog appeared a tremendously golden luminous figure -  an androgynous being radiating a light as bright as the sun, but not hurting my sight. The figure was well delimitated and began approaching me and becoming bigger in size as it came nearer until I saw it a little bigger than myself. I was invaded by such a free satisfaction and WONDER from such a beautiful being that my mind was incapable to understand. I almost lost conscience of myself - becoming one with him in that immense sensation. I was consoled by this compassionate being.

In that runaway happiness, and with only a thread of conscience left, I turned towards my guides and whispered that I deeply thank them for this immense experience, but I had to go back to the Earth realm to undertake unsatisfied small tasks. They answered that my life would go on, nevertheless as tortuous as it had been, with only a few attainments, and that my life would only last for the time that was planned by destiny. Almost nothing of what was planned could be changed.

In my great pride and haughtiness, I remained before this wonderful BEING that transcended me, of whom I felt a small part within me, and whose kind and definite answer I waited for. I turned again and looked at the Being of Light, directly, at a distance of about half a meter. He was a being of powerful, beautiful and extraordinary energy, but I could not see his face. I had the feeling that if I did, it would be the equivalent of staying.

Suddenly, the being made me feel an infinitely tender and noble embrace which is not possible to describe. I understood and thanked him, because everything now was possible, even refusing to stay, for I had reasons to go back to Earth.

In wonderment, I saw how he extended his right arm. Between us there was a dark abyss which I could pass by jumping if I took his hand, except that no return would be possible. He told me I was free to take my own decision, an offer for which I looked at him thankfully and satisfied. Inclining my head, I breathed exquisite and refreshing air.

The Being of Light, who looked at me with identification and condescendence, slowly descended his hand and went away becoming every time smaller. He was a being of pure love, wisdom, light and energy. The guides appeared then again, curious and kind, and were ready to take me back.

I jumped and fell down at horrendous speed with the sensation of a fire ball. I could not stand the friction and the unbearable noise. At the moment of maximum friction and sound, I accepted that I would die, rather than to stand the sensation. But to my surprise, the guides told me telepathically with luminous words, to relax because I would soon would arrive.

I then felt an explosion of white and red marmalade and traveled through it contrary to its flux. I finally fell with a dry and heavy fall, weighing tons, to see myself sitting on my bed with my eyes open and burning. I felt a deep pain near my heart, a pain almost unbearable, and a great difficulty to breathe.

My body was rigid. My arms could not move. My feet were frozen and I could not move them either. I could only allow threads of air enter my lungs, or else they would hurt. I felt a little dizzy and the pain in the chest was still intense. I was unconscious for a moment, but when I managed to move my waist, I closed my eyes and lied down. I was still hearing internal and external noises and zooming.

The pain in my heart lasted with intensity for one hour and a half. I managed to go to the bathroom, feeling as tired as ever in my life. I then went back to bed and slept for 12 hours. When I woke up, I remembered the guides told me how my wife, my daughter and myself would die. I saw my complete future and that of my daughter. I was told I would only remember fragments of it in certain moments. The guides told me my life would continue as tortuous as it had been, but with small satisfactions. It had to be like that because it was programmed that way, and the purpose, although painful, was very constructive and evolusive. I could not change it.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? No      

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          No      

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    During the life review

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:            During the life review

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  Yes     panoramic view

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
            Yes     sounds and music

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            indescribable

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          Yes     first darkness, then tunnel,  then Light

Did you see a light?           Yes     A being of light impossible to describe

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes     Dead family, friends, unknown guides

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    Yes     analysis of the past to the minimum detail, learning from mistakes, seeing the positive events, repentance

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Yes     Future events, although I always had visions of future events since I was 2 year old. It is possible that when in my mother's womb I might have had and NDE

10/2008  Experience description:   

During a deep meditation, I left my body. I flew to a place which was still as if in the gravity of a first floor, before beginning an escalation into the gravity of life. It was a dark dimness. I talked with some beings that told me I was in a total risk vital transition, but that I could ascend further still and talk with someone who would decide if I would come back to my body or not. They said that the more I would ascend, there would be tremendous experiences and the possibility of coming back would decrease. It was probable that the same beings who were talking to me now, would bring me back. It was like a train station where many beings chattered and the colors of that dimension were brownish.

Further away there were grayish entities that were helped by guides in order to definitely leave their terrestrial life. There was not any true color , besides the tones from black and brown to white. I saw people I knew on earth, who greeted me and continued their ascension. The guides told me I was in the threshold of death. I wondered if the persons who were dying and leaving their bodies in that moment, actually knew where they were.

The guides that accompanied me were kind, tactful and VERY COMPLIANT, but they were also impenetrable when certain questions were asked. When they answered, they did it with only a smile. Communication was by telepathy and they knew instantly what I was thinking, but their answers were essential, concise and certain. My guides were very calmed, unadorned and with a tender sense of humor.

It was then that the judgment began. But I was the one to judge myself. Although they considered that everything was evident, they allowed me to understand all the contradictions, actions, guilt and non guilt which I was feeling from the events of my life. They comforted me with the precise words and calmed me, and when I felt a violent dialogue within myself, justifying or blaming myself, they made me understand that it was all within the game of evolution and that in depth, the details were Transcendental.

Suddenly I had the sensation I was still in a foggy place near earth. They told me I could take the decision to continue, but it was with a maximum risk for my physical life. Then, identifying myself with my Diego ego in the earthly plane, I accepted to continue, since they were willing to accompany me. I worried because of the risk. Nevertheless, I accepted discretely and humbly, although with the haughtiness of my earth identity, that wanted to have the experience.

At the same time, it was my cosmic conscience that allowed me to take the decision without panic.
We then began to ascend at great speed, without friction or effort, as when one is falling, but in this case, instead , ascending. I was in a state of reverberation, hearing a zooming sound, and feeling a little dizzy , as though in a car at great speed. The guides then seemed to have disappeared.

In that moment, I understood my panic, asking myself if I actually could resist the situation. Suddenly, with a great scandal of voices, I began to judge myself, to blame myself, to take decisions that belonged to their own code of existence. In that moment, everything was valid and excusable, because it was understood that my own position was a small humble position, in an open game of evolution. If other proposals seemed more valid, they were humbly accepted because there was no real guilt.

After simultaneous cultural, legislative and theological ideas exploded within me, the answer of the guides was... ! Transcendence ! And they pronounced that word with a smile. All the actions I considered so important, actually were not so.

Suddenly, my mind was allowed to rest in a quiet place, so we could then ascend through a translucent tunnel with a light that seemed rather a yellowish opacity.

Then I saw beings, some ascending, some descending. Two of them were known to me on the earth plane, and I had not seen them for more than 20 years. I asked one of them what he was doing in that place, and he told me he had a very serious health problem that had already been solved, reason for which he was going back to his body.

Nevertheless, another lady who was a friend of my family for many years, was leaving the earth plane in a definite way, so I was told.

Then came some guides to take my friend who had been seriously ill, back to earth through a tubular shape in descent. I also observed other tubular shapes through which other souls were ascending, and among them, the lady known to me, whose body had already died. I inquired if the lady could go back, but they said her time was over .I felt the energy of the lady perturbed, because she did not know she was dead and she was wondering what was happening, but I avoided meeting her.
In that moment my guides smiled. A different lap started in which the path was transparent, silent and compliant. I felt the pleasure of having my conscience in total calm, together with the tender, but distant company of the guides and other entities which I could not see. The next moment, I saw another path were all the dead members of my family appeared, among them my father. I then entered another stage , with a moment of unconsciousness, but I recovered quickly. It was as though I would have crossed a purifying sauna, plunging into unconsciousness, but I soon noticed my consciousness was intact.

I understood I had undertaken a risk of no return, and with repentance, I pleaded to go back, for I knew I had already crossed the threshold of death. In that place everything was brighter, although still not so much. I felt, that only the identity of the affections I had for my family on earth, motivated me to come back to my body. I had then a slight, but vital sensation of unrest and anguish, for I again understood I had traversed the threshold, so I asked my guides to please give me an answer. They told me that the decision did not depend on them anymore, because we found ourselves in planes that were not of their reach, answer which made me feel dazzled. I asked them if they could keep on accompanying me, for I wanted and needed to have a dialogue with someone, and they kindly accepted. I felt a nostalgic abandonment, having later on the sensation that they took my hand. We then shot ourselves out at a great cold, mentholated speed, with acute cosmic sounds, pure and deep echoes and the brilliance of a light, so white, almost metallic, in which we flew, that made me feel an agreeable and refreshing wind. There were warm and exquisite odors and a fog, and a flat floor on which I saw the guides standing.

From the white fog, appeared a tremendously golden luminous figure, an androgynous being irradiating a light as bright as the sun, but not hurting my sight. The figure was well delimitated and began approaching me and becoming bigger in size , as it came nearer, till I saw it a little bigger than myself. I was invaded by a free satisfaction and wonder from such a beautiful being ! My mind was incapable to understand , and I almost lost conscience, becoming one with him in that immense sensation. I was consoled by this compassionate being. In this runaway happiness, and with only a thread of conscience left, I turned towards my guides and whispered that I deeply thanked this immense experience, but that I had to go back to the earth plane to undertake unsatisfied small tasks. They answered that my life would go on, nevertheless, as tortuous as it had been , with only a few attainments, and that my life would only last for the time that was planned. Almost nothing of what was planned for me could be changed.

In my great pride and haughtiness, I remained before this wonderful light being that transcended me, of whom I felt a small part within me, and whose kind and definite answer I waited for. I turned again and looked at the being of light directly, at a distance of about half a meter. He was a being of powerful, beautiful and extraordinary energy, but I could not see his face. I had the feeling that if I did, it would be equivalent to staying. In one instant, the being made me feel an infinitely tender and noble embrace, which is not possible to describe. I understood and thanked them, because everything now was possible, even refusing to stay with him, for I had reasons to go back to earth. In wonderment, I saw how he extended his right arm. Between us there was a dark abyss, which I could pass by jumping, if I only took his hand, except that no return was possible. He told me I was free to take my own decision, offer for which I looked at him thankfully and satisfied, and inclining my head, I breathed an exquisite and refreshing air. The being of light looked at me with identification and condescendence, then slowly moved down his hand, and went away becoming every time smaller. He was a being of pure love, light and energy. The guides appeared then again, curious and kind, and were ready to take me back.

I jumped and fell down at horrendous speed with the sensation of a fire ball. I could not stand the friction and the unbearable noise. At the moment of maximum friction and sound, I accepted rather to be dead. But to my surprise, the guides told me telepathically with luminous words, to relax for I soon would arrive. I then felt an explosion of white and red marmalade and traveled with it , contrary to its flux. I finally fell ,with a dry and heavy fall, weighing tons, to see myself sitting on my bed with my eyes open and burning. I felt a deep pain near my heart, a pain almost unbearable and a great difficulty to breath. My body was rigid, my arms could not move. The feet were frozen and I could not move them either. I could only allow threads of air enter my lungs, or else, they would hurt. I felt a little dizzy and the pain in the chest was still intense. I was unconscious for a moment, but when I managed to move my waist, I closed my eyes and lied down. I was still hearing internal and external noises and zooming. The pain in my heart lasted with intensity for one hour and a half.

I managed to go to the bathroom, feeling as tired as ever in my life. I then went back to bed and slept for 12 hours. When I woke up, I remembered the guides told me , how my wife, my daughter and myself would die. I saw my future completely , and that of my daughter. But I had been told I would only remember fragments in certain moments. The guides told me that my life would continue as tortuous as it had been, but with small satisfactions. It could not be changed because it was programmed, but it was very constructive and for the purpose of evolution.