Dennis B's Experience
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Experience description:
I had none
of the common experiences described in the many accounts that I have read on
this site. No dark tunnel, no bright lights, no life review, boundaries to cross
or meeting with people passed on--none of it. It is this absence of events that
makes me a little doubtful if I am not wasting your time. I was
walking, perhaps floating, toward trees that were about 200 meters further on.
Everything around me was bright with color. I cannot describe the feeling of
absolute happiness and serenity--sheer bliss would be the best way to describe
it. There was a feeling of absolute reality--this was home where I had always
been. Everything about me was clean, above all I felt clean inside. I am not of
course speaking of dust and dirt, I mean clean of spirit and heart, and clean in
thought. A young woman walked (floated?) diagonally from right to left across my
path, about half way between me and the trees. She turned and looked at me and
waved, and I waved in return. I did not recognize the woman, but she felt
familiar to me. That is
all there was in my 'experience'. In a matter of moments the color about me
drained away and all became dark and faded. I could dimly see the outline of
bookcases, then the indistinct shape of a wardrobe--then I knew that I was
laying on my bed. It is hard to describe the desolation and deprivation I felt
as I tried to come to terms with my return to 'life'. I knew
that my experience had not been a dream, at least, I felt that way for several
weeks. Gradually, as time passed and my usual cynicism reasserted itself. I
began to wonder if all that had happened was nothing more than a wonderful
dream, if so, then it was as far removed from conventional dreams as I am from
walking on the moon. For many
years, up to the present day, I have had experiences on average 10 to 30 time
each year. Experiences is the wrong word, I should have said, sensations. Each
occurrence lasts no more than 3 seconds as far as I can tell. I feel a
familiarity, or a memory of something in the distant past, but I know that it is
not something connected with my own life's experience. These sensations are
always pleasant and reassuring, but I can never get a grip on them as far as
content is concerned, they are too brief in duration
Any associated medications
or substances with the potential to affect the experience?
No
Was the kind of experience
difficult to express in words?
Yes
Language is inadequate to
describe the emotional part of the experience.
At the time of this
experience, was there an associated life threatening event?
No
What was your level of
consciousness and alertness during the experience?
Perfectly normal--this was life
and was where I had always been.
Was the
experience dream like in any way?
See answers to 4 and 5
Did you experience a
separation of your consciousness from your body?
No
I have had one OBE, about 45
years ago, but not at this time I am writing of.
Did you hear any unusual
sounds or noises?
No
Did you pass into or through a
tunnel or enclosure?
No
Did you see a light?
No
Did you meet or see any other
beings? Yes
Did you experience a review of
past events in your life?
No
Did you observe or hear
anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be
verified later? No
Did you see or visit any
beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?
Uncertain, My experience
was sparse, but everything was beautiful.
Did you have any changes of
attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
Yes
If I could rid myself of
apprehension when thinking of the process of dying, I would look forward to the
event with joyful anticipation--provided I can convince myself that what I had
experienced was indeed the continuation of existence after the death of the
body.
How has the experience
affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career
choices? No
Have you shared this
experience with others?
Yes
I have spoken only to my wife,
and that was received with polite interest. I feel reluctant to talk to others
about this matter. I can imagine the reactions from some of the people that I
know--you were dreaming--polite disbelief--concern from my sons that age is
catching up with me and that I may need watching from now on.
What emotions did you
experience following your experience?
Overwhelming deprivation and
loss--but hope for the future beyond the death of my body
What was the best and worst
part of your experience?
The
best---color--serenity--blissful happiness--cleanliness, The worst--'waking' up
Is there anything else you
would like to add concerning the experience?
Yes, I would like to add what is
no doubt a red herring.
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life,
medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
Yes
Please read answer 26--I should have put that answer here I think.
Did
the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively
describe your experience?
Yes,
I have
to allow for aging memory loss, but as far as I am aware everything is accurate
and complete.
Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.
No,
there is nothing that I can suggest.