David M's Experience
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Experience description:
In outer respects, the story that follows is more of a religious
conversion experience or OBE, than an NDE. There was none of the great physical
trauma regularly associated with NDEs. On the other hand, there was a tightness
of chest and many other qualities associated with an NDE, and so it provides a
rather interesting bridge story between NDEs and OBE/religious experiences.
I wrote the event
down close to the time.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * *
I was born in Kent,
England in 1971, and brought up an atheist as a child, and managed almost
entirely to skip religion throughout my schooling. At 18 I left school and went
to Durham university. Entirely unintended, about 1990 I came to read the book
"Human Personality and Survival of Bodily Death" by F W Myers, who was one of
the great founders of scientific research of psychic phenomena. For an atheist,
this book was an absolute and astonishing eye-opener, and I did my own research
by asking personal friends whom I could trust for genuineness, for their own
unusual experiences. A little bit on, and I had encountered the Qur'an and the
Bible, and having read them both, I was now wondering which to go by. At that
time I was also extremely depressed and had been for a few years, which I
considered to be a late-rising response to a car accident as a child in which I
nearly died (and seem to have had some kind of NDE in).
Now it was the warm
summery months of 1991, and the illumining rays of sunlight were streaming
through my window in Kent. My bed was stationed in the very centre of my room,
surrounded by carpet and clear space; and as I was lying there one morning, I
suddenly felt that it was most arrogant that anyone should decide for themselves
matters concerning God, when God, if He existed, would know best, and should be
the first One to ask, as the Knower; and therefore at that very moment, roughly
8.15 in the morning, I sat up, upon the midst of my bed sheets, and prayed for a
distinguishing sign. My hands rested upon my upper legs, and my head was tipped
and lowered slightly forward. Eager as ever to be helpful, I recommended to God
half a dozen signs He might find helpful to use for convincing to me - they are
almost too embarrassing to enumerate; things like producing in my hand a coin
with certain words inscribed on, so I could never fail to look back upon it and
be convinced it wasn't imaginary, and I promised I would never show such clear
proofs to others!!! After about fifteen minutes of thoughtful suggestions, I
snuggled back into my covers, and began listening again to my music, I think it
was Mozart or maybe Haydn. After nearly an hour elapsing, I had entirely
forgotten the short prayer I had just prayed. What happened next (29 Aug 1991),
I recorded some months later, and it has remained as clear as day throughout my
life.
It was 9.30am, and I
was 90% awake. As I was listening to the music, I suddenly found myself flying
quickly across fields of green grass; I passed some ball games of tennis or
golf; and then there was a very bright flash of all-encompassing light that
poured down like a curtain across my vision - immensely bright yet absolutely
soft - and a great roar - loud and yet soft - and I was separated from my body.
There were two worlds:
I could see in the spiritual world, yet I could also see with my material eyes.
I was still in the same place as my body, much as an imaginary ghost could feel
as it passed through a wall.
When I raised my arm, I
felt it lift, I saw it lift, I felt the breeze as it lifted, through the sheets,
yet materially my eyes saw it did not lift, it remained in place - such was the
manner of movement.
There was an ache or
tightness upon my heart, and I wondered who it was who was breathing, me or me?!
- that is, the physical or the spiritual me?
Then I wondered, if my
mother were to call me, my response would be in the spiritual, not in the
material, and I knew she would see me silent and unresponsive and rush me to
hospital.
There was no fear at
all, except the fear of the bizarreness of the situation and not knowing what
to do next. Try desperately as I might for all my life, I just couldn't see how
to return to my body - I was in the right place, but I was entirely separate.
What to do!!?! I felt I might be stranded separated for an indefinite time, and
there was no one who could help me! when you are used to ordinary three
dimensions, you know where you want to be, judge your distance from it, and then
you just strive to move to be there. But how does one react to being clearly
separate and at a 'distance' from your body, when you see you are in exactly the
same position as it?! it is truly baffling and an awesome experience. No action,
learnt or calculated, is of any use in solving this need, it seemed so truly
baffling beyond solution.
I felt an allurement
attracting me to take myself away on a distant flight, and it was certainly an
unusual opportunity. There was a feeling that things here happened entirely on
impulse. In the material world, if you see a cake, you can decide against your
impulse not to eat it; but in this condition, impulses seemed to be what
determined action. Everything was silent and tranquil.
Although I wasn't a
Christian, suddenly I cried, "Jesus Christ, Emmanuel!" five times, it came right
through me like I was a reed being breathed or spoken through, and upon the
fifth calling I found myself perfectly reestablished in my body.
The above differs from
familiar accounts I have subsequently read of leaving your body, in two
respects: firstly, I was separated from my body without departing from its
position. In the standard accounts one leaves one's body and looks at it from
afar, often from above; and secondly, unless your body is in a critical state,
normally the slightest thought of one's body or the wish to return to it will
cause an instantaneous return to physical reality. But in this experience,
despite wishing with all my life to return to my body, I could not.
At the time, I took the
experience to be a call to Christianity, and only later considered it as an
encounter with the Spirit of God, contextualized into my own culture of
understanding, and that the path called by Christ is the same path of the Spirit
called for by many other religious founders before and since.
Three days on, I
happened to be in the attic, where my mother lived. It was 11 pm, and I vividly
recall saying goodnight, and wandering down the steep stairway, ambling along
the red carpeted passageway, past my sister's room... crossing my eldest
brother's room... then my next eldest brother's... and then, unsuspectingly, on
this ordinary, commonplace day, opening the door to my own room...
What I encountered in
my room was beyond description, or human imagination; it was full to the brim
with Forces on a truly galactic scale. Everything was overwhelmed by the
terrifying intensity of these forces. There was no sense of running away, any
more than you would attempt to flee from the air, or from an exploding sun or
galaxy, they were there and all-encompassing, all-involving, all-touching. Never
before, nor after, has my prayer ever been so perfect and complete as it was at
this moment, such was the necessity, as my room filled with immense terror at
the indescribable magnitude of such all-pervading power. I must surely have
prayed all night; I cannot recall amidst the overwhelming experience what
happened. At length I awoke the next morning, an entirely transformed person.
Before, I was the shiest of all people, and suddenly I was now both outward
going and also inward looking; before, I was afraid even of the dark, and of
many things; yet suddenly, I was unafraid of all things; before, I was extremely
unhappy, and now suddenly I had come into a happiness that never leaves, not
even for a moment. In retrospect, what had seemed to be three extraordinarily
terrible and malignant forces within my room, seem now to have been the dark
shadows of my self caused by the all-compelling and ineffable brilliance of the
encounter. This awakening took place on 1.9.1991.
Roughly a week after, I
figured I had better ring my brother Peter, and explain my sudden change of
heart about spirituality and religion. He lived elsewhere in the town, and I had
not seen him for some while, particularly since I lived the other end of the
country. As I unraveled to him the sequence of events over the phone, he
explained to me an amazing matter that had been occurring at his home. On the
morning of my becoming separated from my body, he had suddenly been overcome by
an inexplicable and great urgency to pray exclusively for me for 40 minutes as
if I was in terrible danger; this happening each morning, until the morning when
I awoke transformed, at which very point, the need to pray for me entirely
dissipated from him. He had not experienced such a strange and pressing need to
pray for another, before or since.
This experience has
lived with me ever since, both reminding me directly and also shining in me a
radiant hope. I was radiant from it a whole decade, until I was grounded by some
very exceptional personal disasters.
It is hard to say if it
opened up any "psychic" latency; I have such things, sometimes very strongly,
even amazingly so: but I suppose most people do too, and it's hard to say or
compare this with what I would have had had I not had this experience.
I can certainly say
that after becoming acquainted with them, I have had an intense fascination with
NDEs ever since.
Briefly regarding my
car accident. I was asleep in a tent aged 3 and 9 months, and a car ran over it.
Terrible injuries, I almost died. I was flown in a helicopter to a hospital, and
on the way I was able to look out from the helicopter at all the fields below. I
can still remember them vividly. I always just assumed the door was open, like
you see them flying in the air, or perhaps my stretcher was above window line,
which wouldn't quite explain seeing down to the fields. Then much later I began
to wonder - why on earth would they have had the helicopter doors open, I would
fall out! and so I asked my mother, who was in the helicopter, and she said I
was below the window line and could not have seen out of the helicopter - so
this makes me think I could well have had an NDE then, but I have no details of
it. However it may be useful for studying whether people who have one NDE are
more likely to have a second, especially like experience narrated in detail
above.
May we travel forever
on the rose-scented path of the spirit,
David
Beyond that, certain
intense dreams come which are obviously important, but are only clear in their
meaning after their occurrence
I tend now to attach
less to the outer form of the experience and more to the inner transformation.
At first the inclusion
of Christ was important, then that became a general spiritual representative.
So, had I been in a Buddhist country, the Buddha would perhaps have been the
spiritual representative.
Reset button is
dangerously close to the Submit button - I hope the Reset buttons asks "Reset -
are you sure? Yes/No" when you click it!
Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain The quality of separation from the physical is not
ordinarily experienced and doesn't fit well into language
At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event? Uncertain Tightness of chest during experience,
had been 90% awake
At what time
during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and
alertness? I was drifting from alertness and then after the light and
roaring sound I separated from the body and was immediately fully aware right
until my return
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience
compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness
If your highest
level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from
your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:
I was drifting from alertness and then after the light and roaring sound I
separated from the body and was immediately fully aware right until my return
Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any
aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception
degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)? Yes Felt I moved through things; that there were two strata;
things happened on impulse
Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any
aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness,
etc.)?
No
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? Yes
What emotions
did you feel during the experience?
Great perplexity, awe and astonishment
Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?
No There was an attraction to an inner horizon which wasn't
followed through
Did you see a light?
Yes The light was very bright yet soft and came down like a curtain with a
loud yet soft roar
Did you meet or see any other beings?
Uncertain I called out to a being ("Jesus Christ, Emmanuel") and a rescue
response came, but I did not see anyone
Did you experience a review of past events in your life? No
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your
experience that could be verified later?
Yes The period of three days coincided with my brother praying urgently for
me
Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or
dimensions?
Yes I flew across green fields prior to separation from the body
Did you have any sense of altered space or time?
Uncertain I was distinctly separate from yet in the same place as my body -
this seemed very alternative!
Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or
purpose? No
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No
Did you become aware of future events?
No
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the
experience you did not have prior to the experience? Yes My room filled with immense forces three days later and
I awoke a different person.
Have you shared this experience with others?
Yes shared the first part immediately to people, and the both parts with my
brother; have shared both with many others since. most ; sister interested;
brother (a Christian) pleased. People generally have been variously interested
or inspired.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your
experience?
No I'd recently read about psychic experiences for the first time, but
don't think I knew anything about NDE experiences with their light, tunnels etc
until some time after.
How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it
happened:
Experience was definitely real I felt it was the answer to my spiritual quest
I had recently began.
Were there one
or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to
you? All of
it. The first day enlightened me on what is out there; the third day completely
transformed me from a shy, at-the-time sad person to a non-shy happy person.
How do you currently view the reality of your experience: Experience was probably real Once you find
other pillars in your spiritual life, individual experiences become less
attached and receive a more impartial or lateral approach to it.
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your
experience?
Yes
Became interested in spiritual things, and I lost all interest in non-spiritual
things for many years. They eventually came back to a balance, but you always
value material things for their spiritual purposes.
Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a
result of your experience?
Yes
Went
from atheist/agnostic to being Christian for a period, then ever since a Baha'i.
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life,
medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
Yes Subsequently sometimes I have had experiences of separation and
flying from the body near or during sleep, or falling through the bed.
Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and
comprehensively describe your experience?
Yes
Are there any
other questions we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Under HOW PUBLISH, the
tick box "With my address" could distinguish whether it means a non-exact
location (such as a town) or an exact address (with door number) - I suspect it
means the first, but it's ambiguous.