Experience description:

As I lay in the emergency room waiting for a bed to open, I was quite relaxed and was comfortable, being warm and on oxygen with the extreme symptoms having been relieved.  I started to feel sleepy and suddenly, I found myself in a small space which I perceived to be about ten feet square.  The walls to the side were dark and in front of me was a being that immediately brought to mind the Butterfly People of Joplin.  The being was slender and completely smooth with a metallic like skin.  The body and face had no features.  It had butterfly like wings with three lobes on each side.  The upper lobe had a pattern of a dark dot surrounded by a concentric circle.  Behind the being was a bright white light that seemed to be so bright that it showed through the being, making it seem like it was glowing.  I tried to see if there was anything in the light, but it was too bright to see any details.  Despite the being having no mouth, I distinctly heard "Stop" in a male voice.  I perceived that the wings were not for flying, but were a shield and they were being used to stop me from going further into the light.

I immediately woke up and my reaction was "that was a weird dream".  It seemed much more real than any dream that I have ever had and I was a bit shocked that the butterfly people might be real.  I relaxed again and felt sleepy.  I found myself in the same place again and confronted by the same being.  This time, the being said "No" and sounded a bit aggravated.  Again, I found myself back in the emergency room.  This time, I laid there for a few minutes wondering why I had this same dream a second time.

After a while, I relaxed.  Once again and for the third time, I found myself in the same place and confronted by the same being.  This time, he was a bit closer to me and said "Don't do this again.  You're the one who wanted to find out what happens."  He seemed somewhat angry with me for being there.  I woke up again in the emergency room and that was the end of my seeing this being.  I fell asleep again a while later after considering what had happened.  I did not mention this to anyone at the time and I certainly didn't tell the medical personnel about it.

Exactly one week later, on the evening of January 6, 2021, the lung ruptured and collapsed again.  The same ambulance and fire crew came and they remembered the prior event.  This time, and after I had been loaded into the ambulance, my chest pressurized and I couldn't move air in or out of my remaining lung.  The paramedics were trying to hammer a catheter into my chest to relieve the pressure.  Everything in my vision was gray with black edges and I was starting to have tunnel vision.  I was listening to the paramedics express frustration at not being able to get the catheter in.  I suddenly started to hear another voice loudly telling me to fight for air and not to give up.  The voice was the same voice which I had heard a week earlier in which the being spoke to me and it sounded like he was right by my head.  The paramedics were able to get the catheter in before I lost consciousness.  As I heard the air escape from the catheter, color returned to my vision and I heard the paramedics comment on hearing the pressure escape.  I didn't hear the voice again.

A week after this, I had surgery to seal the lung and everything went smoothly.  I had no other visions or auditory events.  It took a month for me to be able to tell my wife about this as the emotions surrounding the event were inexplicably too powerful.  I later talked to my daughter about it after my wife told her about it.  I have never told my cardiologist or pulmonary doctor about what happened.

In retrospect, the voice that I heard from the being was the same voice that I have heard inside my head as a second voice in times of stress.  Was this my own internal voice?  I don't know.  Was this all a stress induced dream?  Maybe, but I have never had the same dream three times in a row.

Was the being some kind of spirit guide that only surfaces when needed?  I don't know that either, but I hope that he is.

The only other after effect that I have was that I went through about six months of having a short temper and anger that I didn't understand or seem to have any cause.  That has since abated for the most part.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   Yes  I have severe COPD.  On the evening of December 31, 2020, my right lung ruptured and collapsed.  My wife summoned an ambulance and a fire crew also responded.  I had a heart attack in the presence of the paramedics and firemen and they immediately put me on oxygen.  The symptoms of the heart attack were somewhat relieved.  My cardiologist later told me that the heart attack was caused by the deprivation of oxygen, but had not caused any significant damage to the heart.  Just before midnight, I was transported to the hospital emergency room in Fayetteville.  I was placed under a general anesthesia and a chest tube inserted.  I woke up from the anesthesia and talked to the doctor, who told me what she had done and that I was being admitted.  I was left alone in the emergency room surgery for a while.  At one point a nurse came in and told me that they were waiting for a bed to open up.  I was left alone again to wait and that is when the event occurred.

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes     I still have no understanding of what I was experiencing.  I have spent my entire life expressing myself in words and this was something our language is not equipped to express.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?      Through the entire event, I was at a heightened level of alertness and consciousness as I knew that I was in trouble.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal   I was fully aware of what was going on around me and I was fighting for air the entire time.

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   Vision was as sharp as the best times normally.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   Hearing was very sharp.  During the second event, the paramedic's voices were somewhat attenuated whereas the voice of the being was clear and loud.

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   No  

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   Shock and awe.  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   No  

Did you see an unearthly light?   Yes   Extremely bright white light that I could see no detail in.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
During the first event, I saw the being and heard his voice.  During the second event, I heard only his voice, which I recognized.  The being was slender and completely smooth with a metallic like skin.  The body and face had no features.  It had butterfly like wings with three lobes on each side.  The upper lobe had a pattern of a dark dot surrounded by a concentric circle.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   No  

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   Yes   I have no idea who this being was, unless he is some kind of guide assigned to me.

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   No  

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   Some unfamiliar and strange place
I was in a small space which I perceived to be about ten feet square.  The walls to the side were dark and in front of me was the being and a bright white light.  I perceived this to be a closed in space and that the white light area was an open space.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   Yes
The being was using his wings to block me from going into the bright white light area.

Did you come to a border or point of no return?   I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
The being determined that I was not going to go further.  During the third time there, he expressed that I wanted to see how things turned out.  I don't know which thing he was referring to, as there are several things I would like to see to some kind of conclusion or resolution.

Did scenes from the future come to you?  No 

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   Uncertain   I didn't receive any specific information about continued existence, however, my presence wherever I was, has led me to believe that there is continued existence.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?   Yes   During the third time there, the being expressed that I wanted to see how things turned out.  I don't know which thing he was referring to, as there are several things I would like to see to some kind of conclusion or resolution.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   Yes   I came away from this with two items of specific awareness.  First, I believe that the being was some kind of guide that has communicated with me many times in the past and was communicating with me during both events.  In the first event, visually and auditorily, and during the second event, auditorily only.  My impression is that he pretty much leaves me to my own devices, but will intervene when necessary.

Second, that we don't get admission to the afterlife until we are ready as well as the people on the other side being ready for us.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   No  

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience   Prior to the events described, I was torn between being somewhat spiritual and subscribing to materialism (wherein there is no existence beyond current earthly life and that consciousness is a product of chemical reactions in the brain).  I have abandoned materialism as being painfully wrong.  We know very little of the true nature of the universe.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience   After the second event, I was stuck in the hospital for almost a week until the surgery could be performed.  The time waiting for the surgery was so painful and boring that have suppressed a lot of the memory of it.

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   I have become deeply interested in the subject of the afterlife and spirituality.  I have also become much less interested in socializing with people.  I only really want to be with my family

My experience directly resulted in:   Moderate changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?   Yes   I became convinced that materialism is wrong and should be discarded.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   No  

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?     I feel the entire experience has been significant.

Have you ever shared this experience with others?   Yes  I told my wife about it a month after it happened.  She listened, nodded, and did not have much reaction at the time.  She told our daughter about it six months later.  My daughter was anxious to talk about it.  Much more than I was.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   Yes   I have read several books on the subject as well as past life recall.  The experience was not as has been described in many of the studies of it that I have read.  It lead me to think that the experience is highly personal and may be presented in a manner consistent with the person's needs.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   The experience felt as real as anything else I have experienced and did not feel like a dream or some kind of hallucination.  In addition, having been in the same place three times in front of the same being was convincing to me.  That he stopped me and I was apparently forced back reinforced that feeling.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real   My opinion has solidified since this happened.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   I am much less social now, to the point that I am starting to wonder if this is healthy.

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   No  

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   No  

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?   This is the first time that I have been able to discuss this outside of my wife and daughter.  This has also caused me to have a different perception of the weird stuff that happens at funerals.

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   Yes   This was pretty thorough.  Good job framing the questionnaire.