Experience description:   

I need to state beforehand that, when this experience happened, on 24 March, 2012, I had been having nightmares almost every night for over three months, owing to an extremely difficult family situation which has been causing me unprecedented pain and depression. Despite the regular nightmare sequence, this experience happened in my sleep. It came across as some kind of mystical dream, though I am not sure it was a dream, and, even though it was brief, it was the closest experience I have ever had in my life to a near-death-like experience.

It started with me walking into a house which I am unfamiliar with on the physical plane, and finding my English grandmother (who died in 1988 at the age of 90) who was unexplainably ALIVE. I knew she wanted me to be aware of the time when she was 83 years old. But as soon as I found that my grandmother was alive, I found that her grandfather was alive too (I have never heard of or seen my grandmother's grandfather). This made my awareness of our survival after physical death much more profound than in previous ADC.

The crucial fact about the experience (it is difficult for me to recall the exact sequence) is that I �remembered� how I felt before coming to this life and how much I dearly cared for all the people I was to meet in this life. At the time of the experience I felt I had somehow been �tricked� into coming into this life, because nobody had clearly explained to me that all these wonderful feelings of love may be turned into fear, hate and anger in every-day physical life. I felt somehow upset with my parents for having given birth to me. It is difficult to explain the feeling of how I was �tricked� into investing all this love in something which would turn it into such painful feelings.  

I KNEW for sure at the time that the greater my feelings of love �before� my birth, the greater my vulnerability in this world was bound to be. I had NO IDEA on the other side that this would happen.

I also saw some crucial life events that were meant to happen, �before� coming to this world, such as my meeting with and marrying my husband: in the experience it was like a picture of us together was taken to mark this event beyond space and time, but, at the same time, we were surrounded by distorting mirrors, and I saw how these crucial life events can be distorted in physical life. This ties in with the very difficult family situation we are going through at the moment.

As I was experiencing this, and also immediately afterwards, I realized that we flow in and out of that otherworldly consciousness throughout our lives, and that death is not the end or the beginning. We can go backwards and forwards in-between states of consciousness. This came with an expectation that more life-transformative experiences may soon come, as if I had at last opened a door that had always been there.

Based on what I was made aware of (which was not exactly in line with my previous theory about the fact that we create our personality here on the physical plane as we co-create with God), we already are ourselves �before� we are born, out of space and time. So the conclusion I drew from my experience is that, if a child dies when extremely young or even before birth, this does not mean that it will never develop a personality, because the personality is already there. 

I woke up with mixed feelings, with a longing for that mystical otherworldly state and depression over every-day ego-related misunderstandings; but, as the days go by, there is a feeling of hope that is developing as I process the experience and realize that even terribly painful events on our physical plain have a very profound spiritual purpose.

I woke up with mixed feelings, with a longing for that mystical otherworldly state and depression over every-day ego-related misunderstandings.

[All I can think about the fact that my grandmother was 83 in the experience is that, when my grandmother was 83 (in 1981) I was suffering from severe PTSD following an earthquake my family survived when I was 19. This time of my life seems critical in causing me to take an interest in spiritual matters.]

A few days after this experience (nightmares had not yet ceased), I had a further mystical experience which came in the exact type of loop-like sequence as the nightmares: it had to do with the unique role of women in this world, a major role aimed at bringing joy and harmony. This second experience tied in with events which were to take place during the following day, and which I knew nothing about beforehand, but which provided evidence about this specific �knowing�. 

This morning, 3 April, I woke up (having had no nightmares) with the distinct feeling of a spirit hand being placed over my head to protect me.

Even though I have had several hundreds of out-of-the-body experiences throughout my life and meetings with the deceased, as well as occasional mystical experiences involving the knowing that even the most difficult people in our lives are our best friends on the Other Side, this was not an out-of-the-body experience, but just a profound knowing.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     No      

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes     The feeling of profound love I "remembered" feeling before my birth for all the people I would meet in my life and how this changed with incarnation

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Uncertain      I felt extremely distressed over recent family conflicts and misunderstandings and had been in grief over this for three months

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           As I mentioned, I am not sure it was a dream, as the feeling was extremely vivid.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   It wasn't dreamlike, save for the fact that I was physically asleep when it occurred.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Uncertain      In my life I have had several hundreds of OBES. This was different. It was a KNOWING.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Profound love and disappointment

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           NO

LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?            Uncertain      The house where I met my grandmother and the place where I saw the distorting mirrors is unfamiliar to me.

Did you see a light?           No      

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes     My deceased grandmother and her grandfather. My living husband.

Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state? No      

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No      

Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different?          Yes     I hardly had senses, save for visual imagery. It was a KNOWING.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     I had the distinct feeling I was "remembering" things which relate to our lives beyond space and time

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes            Please refer to the description of the experience

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?             Uncertain      As I explained, I felt we can constantly flow in and out this otherworldly state also during our lives and that death is not a deadline

Did you become aware of future events?       No      

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?       No      

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?   Yes     Despite the nightmares continuing, I had another mystical knowing/dream a few days later, which had a bearing on the events of the following day

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes     Please refer to the description of the experience

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       This has been too recent. So far, I only feel sad and depressed, though more hopeful that I may have further mystical experiences that may allow me to re-evaluate my life

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Uncertain      It is too recent

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     It gave them a feeling of hope

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  Sadness and depression

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      Knowing that we are perfect beings beyond space and time