Cezyl's Experiences
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Experience description:
A Comprehensive Journal of Out-of-the-Body Experiences These journals entries are publications of many of the out-of-body experience I've had during this lifetime, starting when I was about 5 years old. The format is mimicking the website by Anthony in the UK. The journals there in their unpretentious format and gruesome practicality thoroughly inspired me. I'm still processing journal entries but I'll add them periodically as I go. Eventually there'll be hundreds here, even thousands. It seems to always get me out when someone has an experiment they'd like me to do OBE, so email any such things in. But I won't do your 'dirty work' for you- practice and experience for yourself... Here goes: 1. A First OBE
Chronology of Experiences:
One evening while I was at home, when I was about 4 or 5 years of age, I began feeling sick- or rather, weak. I told my mom that I was going to my room to lie down for a while. Maybe taking a nap would make me feel better. As I walked the twenty or so feet to my room my body began to feel like lead. It gradually became a struggle just to take a step. It took all of my will power to not plop down upon the floor at entering my room. I finally made it to my bed and plopped down on the sheets. After a while I was feeling much better. I decided to get up and tell my mom of my renewed state. I got up and walked to the door, but I couldn�t open it. My hand passed straight through the doorknob! I tried again� �Whoosh!� My hand went straight through the doorknob again. I turned my head, looking back toward my bed, to indistinctly see a lump on the bed� me. It was my physical body lying on the bed asleep! I figured that if my hand could go through the doorknob the whole of me could go through the door. I simply walked through the door, and the intervening walls between the kitchen and my room. Though I was in the middle of walls I remember being able to see, as if there was a dim light softly illuminating everything. I emerged through the walls and into the kitchen, eager to tell mom what was happening to me. I screamed and hollered, but she couldn�t hear me. As a matter of fact I could barely hear myself! It was as if I had severe soar throat, and air was barely getting through the air passageway. Surprisingly enough I decided to note details of her actions, and I somehow ended up back in my physical body later, as if I�d been sleeping there the entire time. I rushed to tell her what happened. She insisted that it was all just a dream. I told her details of her actions during that time period, and she confirmed all of my observations, yet she insisted that I�d dreamt it all. An interesting thing is that this experience happened when I was only 4 or 5 years of age. I had no knowledge of such things. All of this was new to me. This alleviates the notion of suggestion or imagination. The entire situation was a surprise to even me. Shortly before documenting this experience I asked her about this incident. She excitedly told me that she remembers me running up to her and telling her about being out of my body. Several of my projections happened because of something I�m sure we�ve all faced- the �wetting-yourself-in-the-bed� period. I used to focus on overcoming this, intending to get up and use the restroom when I had to, rather than wetting myself in the bed. One glorious night I felt myself having to urinate. I got up, went to the restroom, and used it. I was overjoyed!! I did it! I didn�t wet myself!! Even through the elation I felt from my success I noticed something was strange. I just ignored it and kept going. I did what needed to be done so I went back to bed. In the morning I was amazed to find that I did indeed wet myself. But how could that be, I wondered. I KNOW that I �went�. This happened for several nights. I remember something being strange about these trips to the restroom. Sometimes I couldn�t work the light switch. I�d go to flip the light switch as usual and it just wouldn�t work. The light just wouldn�t come on. I�d flip the switch down and then back up a few times� nothing. Sometimes the light, after I�d left the switch alone, would blink off and on a few times. I�d consider it an enigma and keep going; doing what was needed with aid of the light coming in from through the hallway. Sometimes the house looked a little fuzzy and strange. Sometimes things were there that weren�t there physically, like extra paintings on the wall or even extra furniture. I just assumed it was because of my sleepiness- hence my vision was blurred. One time I remember �dreaming� that I was in the restroom about to �go,� and then I�d be suddenly back in bed, feeling the need to �go�. I realized that I was �dreaming� of going to the restroom rather than physically going there, and I was getting better at becoming aware of this while it was occurring. Yet I never got the knack of it before I didn�t have to worry about the cause anymore. The size of my bladder eventually caught up with the previously more developed size of my physical body, as happens in us all, and I no longer had the problem of nightly urinations. I now recognize those happenings as what�s called false awakenings- when the person gets up nonphysically yet mistakes it to be physical movement. I was nonphysically traveling and I didn�t even know it! The firm intent/desire to get up at a certain cue seemed to do it. In my childhood of this lifetime flying intrigued me. I loved to see the �Supermen� and the �Mighty Mice� fly through the sky. I was so intrigued that I began having flying dreams. I�d wake up in the morning and remember flying around at night. A few times though I became aware while flying, and I endeavored to do this again and again. I desired and willed for it to happen- for me to become aware in my dreams so that I could fly around- and sometimes I did, while sometimes I didn�t. The �sometimes I didn�t� part is what bothered me� I�d be anxious for bedtime to come, even going to bed early, unable to wait to fly. On mornings when I awoke with an uneventful night I was fairly disappointed. I wanted this to happen every night! A night of mundane dreams seemed a waste compared to a night of flying. In facing my dilemma I figured out what to do. I�d imagine myself flying as I went to sleep, and so continue to fly throughout the night. The first time was unsuccessful, as was the next. Eventually though, after a week or two of consistent daily practice, it happened. I laid down for bed as usual and I visualized myself flying around the neighborhood. I swooped and looped all under my focused control. If the image happened to slip or fade I�d refocus harder, and even harder� determined to reach my goal. I�d sometimes focus to the point that my brow would tense up. Slowly and steadily it seems I lost awareness of my physical vehicle, until only a slight awareness of my tensed brow remained. Even that sensation would dissipate and the visualization would stop being visualization. I�d enter the imagined scene. It felt as though
I�d passed through some sort of sheath or veil. After passing through the veil I was free to explore! I roamed the skies throughout the night. I had an out-of-body experience started mid experience. I became aware standing in the middle of a city, a city with a �Gotham City� like feel to it, as if out of a superhero movie, with that sort of fantasy and intriguing look to it. It was dark and gloomy though, and I was standing on the outskirts of the city looking in. I became aware of a crowd of people running towards me, with torches and sticks and other things in their hands. They were screaming and running towards me wailing the articles they wielded, and it was clear they intended to do me harm. I turned around and ran towards a bridge in the slight distance. The bridge was pretty long, across a body of water, like a river that was a mile or two wide, and I new it was my salvation. I ran with all my might as the crowd followed, and a short ways onto the bride I went to the right side of the bridge and looked over the side. Right under the surface of the water I saw my physical body. On my body were portals or circles of light, which I now recognize as the chakras. Up and down the centerline of my body were these circles of different colors. They closely if not exactly match the positions of the chakras as most people today know them in the centerline of the body, but the portals themselves were not a single color, but had a dominant color and a mixture of one or two other colors in it. They were like pools of colored water, and a bit of another color of fluid swirling through it.
Even now I can see it in my mind�s eye, how it looked. I looked down at my body under the surface of the water, and I looked up and to the right at the crowd approaching. I jumped over the edge of the bridge directly towards my body under the surface of the water. I entered my bedroom through the ceiling of my room, falling straight into my physical body. I was able to look up and see the hole in the ceiling of the room from whence I fell, apparently from another dimension of sorts. I slowly reintegrated with my physical body as awareness of the portal above me diminished. Around the year 1986, following the time of my flying dream episodes, where I would consciously dream of flying, another peculiar thing happened. I would experience feelings of floating up and also of falling down- as if being dropped from great height. I�d fall and there would be a great commotion upon landing, my physical body shaking vigorously and abruptly for one or several seconds. One time the shaking upon landing was so vigorous that I was sore for at least the entire day. Sometimes the fall would be at the end of a dream in which I fell from a building, or off of a cliff, but that didn�t explain the floating sensation. When the most memorable part happened, the falling as if from a great height, I just left it as the enigma it was at the time. This soon changed. One morning in particular I was enjoying this floating sensation, yet with more awareness than usual. Without giving much thought to the fact that I didn�t see any of the scenery, or experience any of the movement control usually associated with my flying, I just assumed and accepted that the floating feeling was just another one of my flying �dreams�, and I went with the flow. At a certain point of lifting I stopped rising and heard an unusual sound. It resembled the sound of a helicopter propeller except it went slower- �Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh� the sound went- over and over again. I was floating stationary, with this �whooshing� sound happening around me and through me at the same time, and out of what was maybe curiosity, (and to make sure that I wasn�t in any danger); I decided to see what was going on. I opened my eyes to
see that I was at the ceiling. The ceiling was only a few inches away from my nose, directly in front of my face. I looked to the right to see the source of that sound. The ceiling fan was on, and its blades were going directly through my body! In shock I turned my head downward to see a lump on the bed, covered in sheets. My physical body! I was floating mid air, only a few inches from the ceiling, and in a body that felt as �real� as my physical body! Yet my physical body was still on the bed, lying asleep! I panicked- and rightfully so I�d say. I felt myself take a large gasp of air, and I instantly fell back down to my physical body, with a cluster of fierce jerks throughout my body upon landing. As I lay there I pondered in awe, and from that point on I knew what was happening when I �fell.� I actually fell� back into my physical body! Interestingly enough these floating and falling episodes happened many times. I began to experience it after I heard a metallic �click� in my head, which is what I now know to be a common precursor to out-of-body travel. The �click� would happen and then I would go nonphysically floating up off of the bed, lying plank like a stiff board, and with a body that I�d swear was my physical body if I didn�t know any better, as the nonphysical body or bodies are so �solid� and real. I�d hover until I panicked and fell back down or, if I remained calm, after an indeterminate amount of time I�d simply hover back down just as slowly and smoothly as I�d hovered up. Eventually I got used to this scenario, and soon it was to the point that I�d just hover in the air waiting for something to happen. I�d always just hover for an indeterminate
amount of time and then slowly hover back down to my physical body. I�d hear the same metallic click as I landed back onto the bed and went back into coincidence with my physical body. Sometimes though the �click� sounded more like a shotgun being fired, and I got used to that too. Soon it was to the point that I�d lie down and nearly immediately hear a click or bang in my head, and then I�d go effortlessly floating up, without the slightest bit of worry. One night I had an interesting experience. I went to sleep in my bed as usual, but I woke up in a different room. The bed was different, the room was different- the world was different. The bed was not rectangular like the bed I had here in this world, but was round or oval shaped. The room was like a big dome. It seemed as if I was under a solidified and hollowed out sand dune. It was light brown to light beige in color, and there was a very comfortable feel to the place. I sat up in bed and looked around. I knew that this was strange, yet I slightly remembered this reality. It seemed sort of natural to be there, as if I�d actually lived there for a long time. In a certain sense it felt like home. In respect to my perceptions I mostly saw myself looking around. I was the boy lying in bed, yet I was also looking at the entire scene, as if from about 20 feet away from the bed and about four feet off of floor level. It seemed more like I was watching a 3-dimensional television show, or like I was a part of a live studio audience watching a sitcom- the ones with the prop sets having three walls up and one wall �removed� to allow the audience to see in. I got out of bed and went to work. I was a vender at a market stand, selling handmade goods such as pottery, cloths, and woven baskets. The scene was as an old-time rural area in a semi-desert region. There were sand and sand dunes everywhere, and there was a towering structure forward and to the left of my stand, like a three-story tall and four-story wide brown cement building. The place was very busy, and I don�t remember seeing anyone else at my stand. I guarded my post and tended my trade. After work I went back to the dome room that was my home and went back to sleep. This continued for about 5 to 7 days. By the end of about the fifth day I accepted that world as my reality. I took the world that I now write this record in to be the dream, and I accepted that I finally woke up from a most strange and unusual dream, of some strange and unusual place, with cement streets and cars and things, and where I went to school and stuff� this place that I�d dreamed myself in for so long, a dream that I�d finally woken up from. That dream must have lasted several years. How could I have slept so long and dreamt all those years? On what may have been the fifth or sixth night I went to sleep in my dome as usual, but in the morning I woke up not as my newly found usual. I sat up with the same �is-this-real� attitude as when I first woke up inside this dome. I looked around questioning what was real, and where I was- just as I did when first waking up in this desert place. Then I nearly immediately sat up again and in the same fashion, but this time back into THIS reality- the one in which I now write this record. I looked around in disbelief. I was now again in the dream that I�d awoken from about a week before. I looked around, thinking over the happenings of the past several days, and looking at how real this dream looked. I may have even tried to wake myself up from this dream but couldn�t. How strange to find myself in this dream yet again. After some time of pondering- and the fact that I never left this reality for the other one after several days� time- I realized that this reality, the one that I now write this record in, is the �real� one, and the reality of the desert world is the �dream� one. There was a shift in awareness as I had that realization, as if a part of me held onto the desert reality and then finally came back into my body from that reality. Was I in a parallel dimension? Did I inhabit the body of a probable me? I got up from bed frantic, thinking I�d been missing for several days. I didn�t miss a single day in this reality. The days spent in the desert region all happened in one of this world�s nights. Another reoccurring experience during my childhood this lifetime was that of becoming aware while walking down the center of my street at night. I�d be walking down the center of the street and everything would be of a monotone bluish-gray color, with wisps of fog or haze throughout. The feeling I had was of intense loneliness. It felt as if I was the only one in the world, which brought a sorrow and emptiness that usually ended the experience. One night I experienced an interesting occurrence while streetwalking out-of-body. I walked down the center of the street as usual, noticing the characteristic bluish-gray monotone color of everything, and the distinct feeling of being alone as if the only one in the world. The wisps of haze were not as apparent this time. I walked down to near the end of the block, and on the right side of the street, on the sidewalk, was something very unusual. There was a gigantic black- and red-checkered oval some 12 to 15 feet tall on the edge of the sidewalk. The colors of the red and black squares that checkered this oval kept swapping their color, so that all of the black squares changed to red and at the same time all of the red squares changed to black. This exchange happened very quickly and continuously and it was very thrilling to behold. The squares seemed about 4 inches across, and they were perfectly horizontal and vertical in pattern. The oval was perfectly symmetrical and upright. The width of the oval was about 5 to 6 feet. Before the oval and about a foot to either side of it were two small humanoid beings. They were definitely not human, yet they seemed intelligent and aware. They looked sort of like trolls, with faces like the creatures portrayed in the movie Gremlins. They were not menacing at all, but calm and serene, and much more stout then how the Gremlins look. They stepped back about a foot- still on either side of the oval- and waited. I recognized the large checkered oval as a portal, but to where? I stood there staring as if in a trance. The two humanoid beings stood there, patiently looking straight ahead� or directly at me. They were motionless, like a painting, so it was hard to tell exactly where their eyes were focused. The two humanoids were of the same bluish-gray monotone color of everything else, but the outlines and shapes of everything were very clear, so they were very noticeable. I stared in inner turmoil, pondering the idea of entering the portal. As I wondered what was on the other side I saw a vision of passing through the portal. On the other side of the portal was as outer space- void dotted with light- yet there were several tubes curling throughout that void, and the tubes were as the connecting lines between this portal and other portals just like it. It was as if there was a tube connected to the other side of the oval, and that tube split into about five tubes. The five tubes connected to other portals, which also had several tubes connected to them, and from still other portals. It was like the Internet, only that this one was for travel. For a timeless moment I stood, looking and pondering. The fear of being trapped �out there,� �over there,� or whatever the case would have been froze me. I stared at the portal, the beings stood as if frozen, and the squares of the portal continued to rapidly switch their color. I �awoke� in the morning no worse for wear, yet again. At one point in my childhood my astral experiences consisted of running from a being. His name was Freddie, the one from TV and movies with the claws- the knives on the fingers his gloves. He�d be grimacing and evil looking and chase me nearly all night long, threatening me with his claws. I�d run away from him all throughout the astral/etheric of my home and neighborhood, and he�d just continue to chase me. Each night, over and over, Freddie would chase me, and it had gotten to the point to where it was expected. It was a basic of sleep: �Now I�m going to sleep. Freddie will be chasing me all night.� After so much of this I grew tired of it, and maybe grew past my fear of Freddie also. It was mid- astral/etheric experience, and Freddie was chasing me as usual. I decided this would be it. He chased me out of my room through maybe the window or the wall, and I noticed how the etheric and the astral overlapped, as I existed between these two dimensions. I ran toward the levy, and I imagined all of my friends, and all of the other kids in the block, running up the street across the levy from the left and right, and from everywhere else. Hundreds of kids came all with one thing in mind� Whip Freddie�s butt! I started with the beating- punching and kicking him in delight- for all of the fear he�d caused me all those nights. Then all of the kids jumped in. Freddie was getting whipped! They kicked, punched, jumped on him, etc. He tried to get away but there were too many of them. I stood back on the slope of the levy and I looked in delight as Freddie got whipped! This night I realized that I could control my dreams. This night I became a conscious astral traveler. Freddie never bothered me ever again. I now know that Freddie was an astral/etheric entity. Beings apparently take on the guise of our fears sometimes for fun and to give a scare. Just like how we play practical jokes here, it is done in the nonphysical too. It�s just that the costumes can be much more elaborate, as we can actually change our bodies to any personage, shape, or form. This being obviously realized from my thoughts that I feared Freddie, and it chased me as Freddie to have some fun. A major benefit of these experiences is that I realized that I could control my dreams, at the time not realizing that they were out-of-body experiences. Dreams take place on usually the astral, and many of them are etheric or etheric/astral experiences as well. The difference between and dream and a nonphysical travel experience is that of awareness; how aware you are
during the experience. I here learned how we could use our awareness to change the nonphysical environment, create things there, and control our movements, as we will and desire. After learning from my �Freddie� experience that I could fight with and even defeat nonphysical beings it was on, and I delighted in going into battle with nonphysical entities for the fun of it and the challenge of it. One night I materialized into an astral danger room. This is a term used in the Marvel� comic book called the X-Men�. It is basically a training ground for the group of superheroes, where they practice their fighting skills and hone their powers. I became aware in such a place on the astral, and there were beings literally climbing the walls and hanging from the ceiling. There was a balanced mixture of forms, from humanoid, to entities with a fat tail for their entire lower body, from the waist down, to all manner of other shaped entities. I was in the middle of the cube shaped, dimly lit room, and knew the battle was about to begin. I materialized for myself a golden sword by willing one to appear in my hand. The handle appeared first, and from the handle the base of the sword faded in, and a ripple or haze-in fade effect happened where the blade manifested from the base up to the tip. It was as if some invisible being was sliding an invisible sheath off of the blade as I held the handle, and the part where the blade phased in was like fizz or bubbles. After my blade was finished I looked up and it was on. The battle begun, and so did the fun. One evening or afternoon I was napping and became aware on the astral plane because I was being whipped. Two astral beings that looked like slim, gremlin-faced trolls were there, and they each had a long white-silver pole. They were beating me so badly that I couldn�t get my bearings straight. One would hit me in the stomach and bend me forward. The other would come back upward to the face, bending me backward. Then the first would come to the back of the head bending me forward again, etc. They were bouncing me around so quickly that I barely knew what was going on. There was no pain or anything, and I didn�t even feel the hits, but they were still jostling me around so much that the place was a virtual blur. After some time what I call fail-safe kicked in. When I am in a desperate situation �something� happens and I am whizzed back to my physical body. In a blur I was back in my physical body, pondering the situation. I was furious! ME?? Getting WHIPPED??? I could NOT let that go unchallenged!!!! I continued to lie there and I focused on where I was, visualizing the place and what the beings looked like. As I did I chanted, �I�m going back� I�m going back�� over and over again. At first the chant was audible, and then I decreased my volume until the mantra was only a mumble, and then only a thought. I soon materialized where I was just before, the two beings still there talking and smiling amongst each other; I presume about the fun they had beating up the kid human consciousness in his astral body. They looked up at me and were shocked, to say the least. I unleashed my wrath without fail. I opened with a flurry of kicks and punches in both of their directions, and they knew they had no chance and began running away. I�d go to beating up one and the other would run, and I�d stretch my arm out and grab it and pull it straight back and go to beating the one I just pulled back. Then the other would try to run and I�d do the same thing to it. My arms were like elastic rubber bands. After I�d beaten them to my satisfaction I let them go and they ran away hysterically. I took a moment to look at my surroundings before leaving. I was in what looked like a coliseum. The floor was white, and the walls were mostly shrouded in shadow. I don�t know where the light source came from, but the floor was lit. After taking in the sight of the area for a while I phased back into my physical body with a smile, satisfied that I upheld my status as an undefeated astral fighter.
2. Wet Myself Cue
3. Visualizing Flying
4. City, Bridge, Chakras
5. Floating to the Ceiling
6. A Different or Alternate Lifetime
7. OBE Walking at Night
8. I Defeat a Taunting Entity
9.
'Danger Room' Battle
10. Round Two Triumph
OBE 1 - First OBE
OBE 2 � Wet Myself Cue
OBE 3 - Visualizing Flying
OBE 4 - City, Bridge, Chakras
OBE 5 - Floating to the Ceiling
OBE 6 - A Different or Alternate Life
OBE 7 � OBE Walking at Night
OBE 8 � I Defeat a Taunting Entity
OBE 9 - Danger Room Battle
OBE 10 � I Reengage and Triumph Two Entities
Cezyl
Darryl E. Berry Jr.